Zelda Williams Defends Disney Villains in Compelling (and Semi-Controversial) Thread
Screw Disney princesses and their bland heroes! The so-called "villains" are the relatable ones.
Zelda Williams, daughter of the late Robin Williams -- aka the Genie in "Aladdin" and Peter Pan in the non-Disney "Hook" -- provided Twitter with some food for thought in an impassioned defense of Disney's three-dimensional villains.
Her tongue-in-cheek thread was taken very seriously by some readers, but she was just having fun, and also making some good points.
Screw those unachievable paradigms we called Disney Princesses, I only ever related to the smart but overlooked three dimensional characters they called villains, and here's why: (a thread) pic.twitter.com/MJRGBO395p
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Ariel is a bored snob who literally sings about having everything but it not being enough. She saves a man'a life, who she then stalks & decides to 're-meet' (since he doesnt even remember what she looks like), but in order to do so, she'll needs magic, so who does she call... pic.twitter.com/CRfP0ylpeG
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Ursula helps her in spite of Ariel's snooty royal family exiling her and her rad AF eel buds to a cave. She doesn't even make the task HARD. Like, hello, Ariel knows how to write! She signed her name! She didnt have to play illiterate as well as mute! Not to mention- pic.twitter.com/0W9630s5Ho
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Little Mermaid takeaway: snobby hot rich chicks always get their way, while the harder working talented magical ladies who don't fit particular (dumb) beauty or age standards will often be unfairly mistreated & shunned by certain society. Ursula was a BAMF, and a babe. Onwards! pic.twitter.com/RHUiZTcsE3
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Enter Simba, another snooty royal who's told from a very young age that he owns the entire planet (which isn't unrealistic. At all.). He immediately starts annoying his smarter uncle Scar, and btw, who wouldnt be peeved at a world that's nicknamed you after a visible injury?! pic.twitter.com/IMWKCtvD6w
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
While Mufasa, who has a pride of wives but only ever talks to one by name btw, keeps indoctrinating Simba with toxic King lessons that only feed his ego, Scar tried to expand Simba's horizons, see the world! Leave his royal safety net and meet animals from all walks of life! pic.twitter.com/OQMQ7dPUt9
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
And yes, Scar ended up overthrowing the monarchy, but most societies had to in order to modernize! He and the hyenas made a new democracy! It was bumpy, but when new, improved Simba returns matured by time abroad, the pride is better for it! And the burn helped new plant growth. pic.twitter.com/1Qbu7WgtGF
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Lion King takeaway: the hyenas were grossly mistreated & forced to live in horrible conditions and only Scar saw their promise and got them to unionize. He also created a whole new government while Simba was off being a stoner. PS, don't nickname people after their injuries. NEXT pic.twitter.com/RtIUr2WgJ0
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
I don't even know where to begin with Maleficent other than LOOK AT THIS FABULOUS FAIRY! A fashion icon with amazing dental hygeine. Yes, she overreacted to not being invited to a party, but EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR THE BEST IN THE END, AMIRIGHT?! Also, Dragon drag. pic.twitter.com/fm3Wf9wL1j
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Also, how's Maleficent the weirdo of Sleeping Beauty when the Prince is just walking around entering condemned properties and kissing dead chicks?! Also, fun fact, but Ravens are super intelligent and can speak better than parrots, so extra rad points to Mal. NEXT! pic.twitter.com/X36GobqrPN
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
And the Villains were often dramatic high fashion icons compared to the same pastels and crinoline chic of the princesses, don't even bother @-ing me, you know I'm right. pic.twitter.com/le4E5Utvo4
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Also, swoll daddy Chernabog doesn't skip shoulders or chest days. /end pic.twitter.com/oHGkCXBgzd
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 2, 2018
Human villain men of Disney appreciation post. Who doesn't love crimson and purple on an artfully tailored ensemble with a dramatic silhouette?! Also, kudos to Gaston for being the only Disney dude with body hair. pic.twitter.com/3kyOhmeR22
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Also, if this isnt me when I'm hungry and cranky but still feeling generous with my love in spite of having to deal with your bullshit, I dunno what is... pic.twitter.com/3bBO6etoVI
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Also, kudos to the villain squad for having some of the only body representation in Disney that is inclusive of more sizes than just princess in a corset zero, and with the exception of Boogie who is a literal bag, actually drawing them in stylish, well-tailored outfits. pic.twitter.com/Pt3hffefOQ
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
And to the couple people who have accused me of trying to 'normalize' fascism or whatever by writing funny epithets about the perspectives of Disney villains-
ONE OF THEM IS A SQUID WITCH AND THE OTHER IS A TALKING LION.
IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING DEEP.— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Anywhoooo, since my mentions are currently a literal dumpster fire, I'm gonna hit the hay and wait to see if this tongue in cheek villain thread will have cannibalized itself by the morning.
Wish me luck ???? x pic.twitter.com/54VX9KH859— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Welp, it's a new day, and it's a balmy lazy Sunday, so you know what that means...
More Villain perspectives! Come get em while they're hot ???? (another thread) pic.twitter.com/tcZZ9InZ9U— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Let's start with arguably one of the most maligned and missinderstood: Captain Hook.
First off, kids, DON'T MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE'S PROSTHETIC LIMBS. It's rude, and frankly cruel, and if the lost boys had even a single parent around they all wouldve been in time outs for doing so. pic.twitter.com/FzVvFPguaR— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
And while I normally don't blame a bunch of unsupervised kids for acting out, Pan DID essentially kidnap them, and with a couple exceptions, they are all likely forty or older and have stayed young on that hell island for decades. So STOP BEING WEIRD LORD OF THE FLIES BRATS! pic.twitter.com/bIFqX5NTf2
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
And lets not forget, it's Peter's FAULT Hook lost his hand in the first place, as he fed it to the clock crock. Like, Jesus! Are we sure he's not Damien from the Omen!? Not to mention the boys have a whole slew of other name calling and racial epithets throughout. pic.twitter.com/6WRhkiaWXA
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Peter Pan takeaway: Peter actually runs a creepy kid cult that kidnaps its impressionable members and warps them, all to command his brat army to torment well dressed boating enthusiasts & feed household items to endangered predators. HOOK AND SMEE DESERVED A BETTER HONEYMOON! pic.twitter.com/kqlyRX8Wh4
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Hades it is! Well, where to begin... ah yes, WHAT IS IT with family's banishing/disowning or just downright mistreating eachother in Disney movies?! Just because he's the bigger brother, Zeus got to FORCE Hades to lord over the Underworld for eternity. Seriously?! pic.twitter.com/rkxDH3MOod
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
So not only does Hades have the HARDEST job on all Olympus (let's be honest, Zeus has to make occasional rainstorms flashy. I mean, cmon...), but he gets ZERO CREDIT. AND they made him a fire hazard, which must be tough at parties with low ceilings... pic.twitter.com/U0URn3FmPs
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Now, if my big brother got to rule the universe, I'm pretty sure I would've been stuck in the basement in an eternal wedgie too, so eventually, OF COURSE Hades wants out. He's a handsome devil! Who wouldnt want a little appreciation when you're surrounded by dead beats! pic.twitter.com/2TfHQ2zJmL
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Hercules Takeaway: The Olympians need to find the God of Family Counseling, ASAP, and Hades deserves to be best man at Herc's wedding. I mean, what brings a couple together better than death defying action and adventure, AMIRIGHT?!
Pain and Panic can be ring bearers. pic.twitter.com/K6fmzFpAyl— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Honorable mention: Hades is the best friend a lovesick Meg can ask for. I mean, he sets her up with Herc, AND gives her advice on men when she's down? Bonus points for helping her pay of her soul debt after her last boo left her high and dry. Hades' Blind Date service is 5 star! pic.twitter.com/7S2SR00OAv
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
ONWARDS! Now, hear me out, but if Jafar had been as boyband cute as Aladdin, no one would've batted an eye. In fact, he likely would've gotten the girl and the kingdom! Here's why: pic.twitter.com/uSgySSvDhq
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Sure, Jafar asked Aladdin to fetch the lamp (doubt his older knees could've handled all those stairs), but Aladdin couldn't follow the SIMPLEST INSTRUCTIONS. Like, how hard is that?! Then he runs off with it! Thief AND bad at following direction. pic.twitter.com/TyovYUY1lV
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Bad enough Aladdin wastes his wishes by not stopping to think about them (not his strong suit), THEN he pulls a full Little Mermaid and decides to remeet his dream girl under false pretenses. Tally shows: LIAR, identity thief, bad at directions, doesn't feed his monkey enough. pic.twitter.com/z4rFBJHfc1
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
Now Jafar has already been essentially running the kingdom while the clearly lazy sultan has been playing with toys and neglecting his rebellious, spoiled daughter, not to mention he's CLEARLY the smartest, just look at those wishes, AND he's not lying to the girl he likes! pic.twitter.com/NUjfqJNml2
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
In the end, Jasmine uses Jafar's affection against him in order to trick him and be with another cuter, younger guy, which is fair enough I guess, but what does he get in return? AN ETERNITY OF IMPRISONMENT! How is THAT fair?
And WHY IMPRISON IAGO TOO?! Animal cruelty. pic.twitter.com/PcKS9ZsUhL— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
I'll continue with Gaston and Queen of Hearts later folks, gotta take my real life versions of Pain and Panic for a walk and get some food. Toodle pip and whatnot! pic.twitter.com/fx36uapsep
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) June 3, 2018
I mean ...
Well played. Keep checking her Twitter for more, and for the responses challenging specific villain deeds. People really do take things like this a bit too seriously. But hey -- at least they care about something. That's a start.
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