The cinema has long been one of the noblest of entertainments. Where else can one witness the rich drama and pageantry of life except on the silver screen? And where else, besides my house, can one watch tales of moneyed men and the corseted women who love them? I'm afraid the opera does not even come close.

Yes, for a gentleman, the cinema is a good evening out. But, like all good things, a trip to the movie palace requires a clear head, a decent budget, and some fairly significant preparation. Proper care must be the rule as you embark on your journey.

From selecting a film to choosing a companion, and from getting dressed to getting there in style (because really -- is there any other way?) I, Charlie Mortdecai, have created this gentleman's guide to the cinema so that others might benefit from my rather deep knowledge of the fine art of moviegoing, which really is far more of an art form than most people realize.

See Johnny Depp's new comedy "Mortdecai," in theaters January 23rd!