In what may be the most delightfully bonkers celebrity interview ever, Will Ferrell calls Joaquin Phoenix "such a little bitch." And that's just one of many hilarious exchanges.

Interview Magazine set the two actors up for this random conversation, as they often do. Phoenix is (sort of) promoting "Mary Magdalene," the Biblical movie he made with real-life girlfriend Rooney Mara. Though he doesn't seem to realize this, as he admits to Ferrell.

Here are six of the best exchanges from the interview, which you really should read in its entirety:

1. On the existence of Valentine's Day:

PHOENIX: Did you know that it's Valentine's Day?

FERRELL: I did. I'm going to a group Valentine's Day dinner with my wife and four other friends.

PHOENIX: That sounds awful. Can I ask you a question? What is Valentine's Day?

2. On the existence of the interview:

FERRELL: Are you doing this interview to promote something specific?

PHOENIX: Honestly, I have no idea. I do appear in a few movies that are coming out at some point this year.

3. On being a little bitch in "Gladiator":

FERRELL: Maybe wait to hear what I have to say: I was thinking about your role in that movie, and the reason why it works is because you're such a little bitch.

PHOENIX: [laughs] I don't know if that's why the movie works. It probably had something to do with Ridley Scott.

FERRELL: In your personal life, are you sometimes a little bitch?

PHOENIX: Be more specific.

FERRELL: Can you get a little bitchy if you're in a bad mood?

PHOENIX: Definitely. You can ask [John C.] Reilly about that. I think I tortured him the first couple of weeks, maybe the entire shoot.

4. On M. Night Shyamalan:

FERRELL: When you worked with M. Night Shyamalan, did you ever just once call him M. Night Shyamalamadingdong?

PHOENIX: No.

FERRELL: Okay. How would he have reacted if you were like, "Hey! M. Night Shyamalamadingdong! Can I ask you about this one camera shot?"

PHOENIX: Having been teased most of my childhood about my name–

FERRELL: You're sensitive to that area.

PHOENIX: [laughs] Yeah.

5. On parties:

FERRELL: Well, next year I'll invite you over to watch the Super Bowl.

PHOENIX: You don't have to.

FERRELL: You don't even have to watch it.

PHOENIX: I'm trying to do this thing where I'm being honest with people — I don't want to come. But I'd love to come over to check out your bananas sometime.

6. On being professional:

FERRELL: [To his wife] Oh, hello.

PHOENIX: This is so fucking unprofessional. I can't believe you're doing this. [To his dog] Come here. Honey, come here.

categories Movies