Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales - Captain's Demands Amidst Empty Promises
Scrum: [After seeing that the bank vault Jack's crew have stolen is empty; the crew groan]
It's empty! Where's the dosh?!
Captain Jack Sparrow:
Do you think that robbing a bank is easy? You gaggle of gutless heels of the womb's guilty of putting me in this dreadful pickle in the first place! Now line up and offer me your tribute.
Marty: [He and the other crew members scoff in outrage]
You want us to pay YOU?!
Captain Jack Sparrow:
Am I not the captain of this ship?
Cremble:
You call THIS a ship?
Bollard:
Where's the treasure?
Pike:
All of us are starving!
Bollard:
We will no longer follow a captain without a ship.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [Reveals the Black Pearl in a bottle]
I HAVE a ship! Black Pearl's never left me side.
Pike:
The pirate Barbossa rules these seas now. Has ten ships, guns full.
Cremble:
Not to mention his cannonballs; 18 pounds each, they say.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [The crew sigh in disappointment]
One-legged man with 18 pound balls? That's why he walks funny. Oh, come, come, mates! Did we not find the treasure of Macedonia together?
Cremble:
It was a troll of rotten wood!
Captain Jack Sparrow:
Gold of King Midas!
Scrum:
Pile of donkey dung!
Gibbs:
Face it, Jack, bad luck dogs you day and night.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [Bird poop lands on Jack's shoulder]
That is a blatant fabrication!
Cremble:
You've lost your luck.
Bollard:
You've lost your ship.
Marty:
And now, you've lost your crew.
Pike: [The crew leaves the Dying Gull as Gibbs approach Jack]
Jack Sparrow is no longer our captain!
Gibbs: [Sympathetic; Pats Jack's shoulder and then follows the crew, leaving Jack stunned and heartbroken]
I'm sorry, Jack, but we've reached the end of the horizon.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [Yelling]
Right then! YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED!!! EH?! ALL OF YOU, DISMISSED!!! YOU'LL NEVER SAIL WITH CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AGAIN, TELL YOU THAT!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Misunderstanding a Doily and a Dishcloth
Bilbo: [grabbing a doily from Nori]
Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth.
Bofur:
But it's full of holes!
Bilbo:
It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet.
Bofur: [[w:Croquet|wonderful game; laughs]
Oh, and a ] it is too, if you've got the balls for it.
Bilbo: [annoyed, but quietly]
Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!
Gandalf:
My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?
Bilbo:
What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?
Gandalf:
Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.
Bilbo:
I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house.
Ori: [walks up]
Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?
Fíli:
Here you go, Ori, give it to me.
Bilbo: [mortified; to the other dwarves clashing the cutlery together]
Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over 100 years old! And can you not do that? You'll blunt them!
Bofur:
Oh, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!
Kíli: [singing]
Blunt the knives, bend the forks!
Fíli: [singing]
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Dwarves: [singing]
Chip the glasses and crack the plates...That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!Pour the milk on the pantry floor!Splash the wine on every door!Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!Pound them up with a thumping pole!And when you're finished, if they are whole...Send them down the hall to roll!That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.