Alan CoxQuotes

John Watson: What have I got myself into?

Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.

John Watson: [working out a riddle about seeing a bear from a room with an all-southern view, which has been recurring throughout the movie] Holmes, wait! I know why the bear is white!

Sherlock Holmes: And why is that, Watson?

John Watson: Well, the only room with an all-southern view would be at the North Pole. It's a polar bear!

Sherlock Holmes: Bravo, Watson. You have the makings of a great detective.

Sherlock Holmes: You're sitting in a room with an all-southern view. Suddenly, a bear walks by the window. What colour is the bear?

John Watson: Red! The bear is red!

Sherlock Holmes: Why on Earth would the bear be red?

John Watson: The southern sun is very hot. The bear would be terribly burnt!

Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] That is the most absurd answer I've ever heard.

John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!

Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.

John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.

Sherlock Holmes: Weasels are practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.

John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.

Sherlock Holmes: You're the new boy.

John Watson: Yes, I transferred from another school. My name is...

Sherlock Holmes: [observes him for a moment] Wait - let me. Your name is James Watson. You're from the north of England, your father is a doctor, you spend a considerable amount of leisure time writing, and you have a particular fondness for custard tarts. Am I correct?

John Watson: My name isn't James, it's John.

Sherlock Holmes: James, John - what's the difference?

John Watson: A great deal!

Sherlock Holmes: Very well, so your name is John. How did I do on the others?

John Watson: You were correct. On every count. How is it done? Is it some sort of magic trick?

Sherlock Holmes: [chuckles] No magic, Watson. Pure and simple deduction. The name-tag on your mattress reads "J Watson". I selected the most common name that begins with "J" - "James". Or "John", that would have been my second choice.

John Watson: Of course.

Sherlock Holmes: Your particular style of shoes are not made in the city. I've only encountered them once before during a brief visit to the north of England. The middle finger of your left hand is indented with a callus, the trademark of a writer. And you were carrying The Hunter's Encyclopedia of Disease - a handbook not available to the general public, only to practising physicians. Since someone of your age obviously hasn't been to medical school, I concluded that it was given to you by an older person, someone very dear to you who is concerned for your health: your father, the doctor.

John Watson: And the custard tarts?

Sherlock Holmes: Simple. There's a distinct stain of yellow custard on your lapel. That particular colour of custard is used in the making of custard tarts, and, uh... well, your shape convinced me you've eaten many of them before.

John Watson: There's no need to be rude!

John Watson: Well, I knew it. This is the end of my medical career. My father's going to be furious. I always knew that making friends with you would end up in disaster.