Alicia Silverstone Quotes

Josh Hey! In some parts of the universe, maybe not in ], but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.

Cher Thank you, Josh. I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about ] again?

Tai I could really use some sort of a herbal refreshment.

Dionne Oh, well, we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have ] and stuff.

Tai No shit! You guys got ] here?

Dionne Well, yeah.

Cher Yeah, this is America.

Susan Heffley The only connection we're gonna do, is with each other.

Eve I made some champagne cocktails, like you requested. Funny, I only thought hookers drank these things.

Adam I know Mom sure likes them.

Mel So, uh, what'd you do at school today?

Cher Well... I broke in my purple clogs.

Cher Ms. Stoeger? I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Ms. Stoeger Well, you certainly exercised your mouth, Cher. Now, hit the ball.

Cher Ms. Stoeger, that machine is just a lawsuit waiting to happen!

Ms. Stoeger Thanks for the legal advice.

Mel So, Josh, have you given any thought to our little discussion about Corporate Law?

Josh Yeah, you know, but I think I'd really like to check out Environmental Law.

Mel What for? Do you wanna have a miserable, frustrating life?

Cher Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.

Mel At least he knows what he wants to do. And he's in a good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.

Cher I have direction.

Josh Yeah, towards the mall.

Susan Heffley Greg Heffley! You are grounded for life! And I swear, never again will you play a video game as long as there is breath in my body.

Josh We might get ] to plant a celebrity tree.

Cher How fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants-dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don't you just hire a gardener?

Josh You know, maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is the giving of...

Cher Excuse me, but I've donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy...

Josh Time... funds...

Cher And as soon as I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.

Josh Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock.

Cher Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Cher If it's a concussion, you have to keep her concious, okay? Ask her questions.

Cher Shopping with ]?

Dionne Well, at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my backpack.

Cher It's faux!

Cher I wanna do something good for humanity.

Josh How about sterilization?

Cher I've got an idea. Let's do a makeover!

Tai No. No.

Dionne Oh, c'mon! Let us! Cher's main thrill in life is a makeover. Okay, it gives her a sense of control on a world full of chaos.

Cher Please?

Tai Sure. Why not? Shit, you guys! I've never had straight friends before.

Cher So. Okay. Like, right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I said RSVP because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that, like, did not RSVP, so I was, like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day, it was, like, the more the merrier. And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty?

Cher Thank you very much.

Mr. Hall Uh, Amber? Replying?

Amber Mr. Hall, how can I answer that? The topic is Haiti and she's talking about some little party.

Cher Hello?! It was his 50th birthday!

Amber Whatever. If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine.

Tai Cher, ain't that the same dress that you was wearing yesterday?

Cher Say, Ambular.

Amber Hi!

Cher Was that you going through my laundry?

Amber As if! Like I would really wear something from Judy's.

Cher Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensemble-y challenged"?

Troy Eve, look what I found in the suitcase. It's stock certificates. I mean, it's got, like-- It's got, like, IBM and AT&T and Polaroid and... "Ipana"? I remember this brand. I didn't know they still made this. Oh. Look at this. It says "Trademark 1961.

Stockbroker Purchased in 1958 and 59... ten thousand shares of each? They'd be worth millions. Hell, I don't know. Millions upon millions...

Troy Upon millions. The stocks, the baseball cards... the clothes... the toothpaste. The guy's on the level. Eve, a man walks into your life, who's the kindest, most polite, most incredibly rich guy you've ever met.

Eve And I have him committed.

Troy Yes, you did.

Eve Well at least I fell for him before I found out he was rich.

Mrs. Towner When’d you all get to be so integrated ‘round here?

Lynn This morning.

Josh Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.

Cher I am. You try driving in platforms.

Susan Heffley The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg.

Cher Would you call me selfish?

Dionne No. Not to your face.

Susan Heffley This is an unplugged road trip.

Murray Woman, lend me five dollars.

Dionne Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman"!

Murray Excuse me, Miss Dionne.

Dionne Thank you.

Murray Okay, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking but not necessarily misogynistic undertone.

Tai Wow! You guys talk like grown-ups.

Cher Oh, well, this is a really good school.

Dionne ]" Phat! Did you write that?

Cher Duh, it's, like, a famous quote.

Dionne From where?

Cher ].