Allison Janney Quotes

Candy Striper Hey, lil Miss Sad-pants and her friend Serious Sally, how about some nice cool mints to turn those frowns upside-down.

Loretta D'ya think a nice cool mint'd help if I shoved your head up your ass?

Charlotte Phelan Love and hate are two horns on the same goat, Eugenia. And you need a goat.

Colonel Howell Taylor, where is Shipley?

Joshua I'm with him right now. He's in pretty bad shape.

Colonel Howell Alright. Listen to me. Did you locate the weapon?

Joshua Yeah. It's here. I'm with it.

Colonel Howell Describe it.

Joshua It's a kid. It's a kid. They've made it into some kind of kid. That's the weapon.

Colonel Howell What? I can't reach you. You have to bring it in. Do you understand?

Joshua No. Shipley can't move. He's not looking good. At all. Police are everywhere. I don't know how I'm getting out right now. I don't even have an exit strategy right now.

Colonel Howell Then do what you have to do. Kill it.

Joshua What?

Charlotte Phelan Your eggs are dying. Would it kill you to go on a date?

Ms. Perky People perceive you as somewhat...

Kat ]?

Ms. Perky Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.

Charlotte Phelan Courage sometimes skips a generation. Thank you for bringing it back to our family.

Colonel Howell You know, Neanderthal's got a bad rap. I mean, people talk about them like they were dumb, but... you know, turns out they made tools. They made clothes. They made medicine out of plants. They even made art. Little flower necklaces to bury their dead in. The only problem was there was a species that was smarter and meaner than them. Us. And we raped and murdered them out of existence.

Constance Miller I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnant sister being in love with one of them.

Amber Mom! Mom! Mom!

Firefighter You family?

Loretta Oh no, she's just screaming "Mom, Mom" cause she's got Tourettes. She's Annette's kid, dipshit.