Cabin Boy - Captain's Plans for a Hawaiian Getaway
Nathanial:
I overheard the captain saying it would be jolly-jack splendid to spend a fortnight or two in Hawaii
Kenny:
Yea... that sounds like the captain... you do good impressions.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cabin Boy - Unexpected Compliments and Quirky Conversations
Trina:
Thats wonderful. I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.
Cupcake:
Now I know what you're thinking. "What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin cupcake?" Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?
Kenny:
Mmmm. Gum.
Paps:
Okay, you icy bastard, how about a hot cup-a joe!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Semi-Pro - Discovery of Fondue's Unique Flavor
Lou Redwood: [about the fondue he just ate]
Oh my God...what the fuck is that, it's incredible!
Jackie Moon:
It's called fondue.
Lou Redwood:
Fon-what?
Jackie Moon:
Fondue. Three different cheeses, melted together. That's what you're tasting. Gorgonzola, Munster, and cottage.
Bobby Dee:
It's the latest thing from Sweden, apparently.
Dick Pepperfield: [others makes noises of agreement]
Well, I'm not surprised; those Swedes are so inventive.
Bobby Dee:
They are my favorite producers of pornography.
Jackie Moon:
They do make an excellent fuck picture!
Dick Pepperfield:
Well, I think I'll excuse myself from this conversation, right now.
Jackie Moon:
To the men's room.
Dick Pepperfield:
Oh, stop it.
Jackie Moon: [others are laughing]
To make your wiener sing...boner machine.
Dick Pepperfield:
I am not a boner machine!
Lou Redwood: [others groan]
Swedish porn saved my life in Nam. Hey, come on, you guys. Swedish porn was the only thing that kept my mind off Charlie while I was in the shit.
Bobby Dee: [others laugh]
Is the shit in Ann Arbor? Cause that's where you were during the war.
Cornelius Banks: [laughter stops]
You were never in Nam, you jive turkey.
Lou Redwood: [coldly; Cornelius shakes his head]
Did you just call me a jive turkey?
Jackie Moon:
No. No, he did not, he uh...he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?
Cornelius Banks:
Yeah, I just called you cocksucker!
Lou Redwood:
Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.
Dick Pepperfield:
No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.
Lou Redwood:
Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!
Jackie Moon:
Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?
Bobby Dee:
He just said you suck cock!
Dick Pepperfield:
That's all he said about you!
Jackie Moon: [others laugh]
Come on. Dig into that fondue...little cocksucker.
Lou Redwood: [laughing]
We like playing games, don't we?
Jackie Moon:
It's true, we're playing one right now.
Lou Redwood: [draws a gun and points it at Cornelius; bursts out laughing; all laugh]
I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in fuckin Nam! Who's the jive turkey now? Gun's not loaded!
Jackie Moon:
It's not loaded!
Lou Redwood:
You should've seen your goddamn faces! I never load it!
Cornelius Banks:
The gun was not loaded!
Jackie Moon: [puts gun to his head and pulls trigger; all laugh]
I'll see you fuckers in hell.
Bobby Dee: [aims at Jackie and pulls trigger]
Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard.
Cornelius Banks: [aims gun at Lou, pulls trigger]
I did call you jive turkey.
Dick Pepperfield: [playfully, pointing gun at Lou; pulls trigger]
I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield! Rrragh!
Lou Redwood: [laughing]
We're saying nutty things cause they're not true...especially that, more than the rest.
Jackie Moon: [rests gun on forearm]
Hey. Bond, James Bond. Eh?
Dick Pepperfield:
How do you like your martinis, sir?
Jackie Moon: [aims gun at crotch and pulls trigger]
Stirred, in a half carafe.
Cornelius Banks:
He shoots himself!
Jackie Moon: [tosses gun down and it goes off suddenly]
He shoots himself in the wiener!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scary Movie 2 - A Prayer Interrupted by Laughter
Father McFeely:
Let us pray.
Father Harris:
Our Father...
Hugh Kane/Megan Vorhees:
(laughs excessively in a deep voice)
Father Harris:
Stop it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees:
(continues laughing)
Father Harris:
Zip it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees:
(laughs some more)
Father McFeely:
Thy kingdom come...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees:
Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!
Father McFeely:
Oh, shit...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees:
(laughs)
Father McFeely:
(pulls out a gun) Suck on this.
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees:
Uh-oh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scary Movie 2 - Party Anthem from Scary Movie 2
Exorcist Party Go-ers:
(singing) Shake ya ass! Watch ya self! Shake ya ass! Show me what you workin with!
Mrs. Voorhees:
(singing) Attention, all you young players and pimps, right now is the place to be.
Father Harris:
(singing) I thought I told y'all niggas before, y'all niggas don't fuck with me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scary Movie 2 - A Prayer with Unusual References
Father Harris: [while exorcising Megan; [w:Survivor|Survivor]
Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Virgin Mary's baby daddy, Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God, who once concerned that Fallen Tyrant to the flames of Hell, who sent your only Son in the world to crush that Roaring Tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of ]!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.