Memorable Quotes from Andy Richter
6 quotesA Prayer Interrupted by Laughter
Father McFeely
Let us pray.
Father Harris
Our Father...
Hugh Kane/Megan Vorhees
(laughs excessively in a deep voice)
Father Harris
Stop it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(continues laughing)
Father Harris
Zip it!
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(laughs some more)
Father McFeely
Thy kingdom come...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!
Father McFeely
Oh, shit...
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
(laughs)
Father McFeely
(pulls out a gun) Suck on this.
Hugh Kane/Megan Voorhees
Uh-oh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Prayer with Unusual References
Father Harris
Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Virgin Mary's baby daddy, Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God, who once concerned that Fallen Tyrant to the flames of Hell, who sent your only Son in the world to crush that Roaring Tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of ]!
[while exorcising Megan; [w:Survivor|Survivor]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of Fondue's Unique Flavor
Lou Redwood
Oh my God...what the fuck is that, it's incredible!
[about the fondue he just ate]
Jackie Moon
It's called fondue.
Lou Redwood
Fon-what?
Jackie Moon
Fondue. Three different cheeses, melted together. That's what you're tasting. Gorgonzola, Munster, and cottage.
Bobby Dee
It's the latest thing from Sweden, apparently.
Dick Pepperfield
Well, I'm not surprised; those Swedes are so inventive.
[others makes noises of agreement]
Bobby Dee
They are my favorite producers of pornography.
Jackie Moon
They do make an excellent fuck picture!
Dick Pepperfield
Well, I think I'll excuse myself from this conversation, right now.
Jackie Moon
To the men's room.
Dick Pepperfield
Oh, stop it.
Jackie Moon
To make your wiener sing...boner machine.
[others are laughing]
Dick Pepperfield
I am not a boner machine!
Lou Redwood
Swedish porn saved my life in Nam. Hey, come on, you guys. Swedish porn was the only thing that kept my mind off Charlie while I was in the shit.
[others groan]
Bobby Dee
Is the shit in Ann Arbor? Cause that's where you were during the war.
[others laugh]
Cornelius Banks
You were never in Nam, you jive turkey.
[laughter stops]
Lou Redwood
Did you just call me a jive turkey?
[coldly; Cornelius shakes his head]
Jackie Moon
No. No, he did not, he uh...he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?
Cornelius Banks
Yeah, I just called you cocksucker!
Lou Redwood
Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.
Dick Pepperfield
No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.
Lou Redwood
Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!
Jackie Moon
Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?
Bobby Dee
He just said you suck cock!
Dick Pepperfield
That's all he said about you!
Jackie Moon
Come on. Dig into that fondue...little cocksucker.
[others laugh]
Lou Redwood
We like playing games, don't we?
[laughing]
Jackie Moon
It's true, we're playing one right now.
Lou Redwood
I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in fuckin Nam! Who's the jive turkey now? Gun's not loaded!
[draws a gun and points it at Cornelius; bursts out laughing; all laugh]
Jackie Moon
It's not loaded!
Lou Redwood
You should've seen your goddamn faces! I never load it!
Cornelius Banks
The gun was not loaded!
Jackie Moon
I'll see you fuckers in hell.
[puts gun to his head and pulls trigger; all laugh]
Bobby Dee
Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard.
[aims at Jackie and pulls trigger]
Cornelius Banks
I did call you jive turkey.
[aims gun at Lou, pulls trigger]
Dick Pepperfield
I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield! Rrragh!
[playfully, pointing gun at Lou; pulls trigger]
Lou Redwood
We're saying nutty things cause they're not true...especially that, more than the rest.
[laughing]
Jackie Moon
Hey. Bond, James Bond. Eh?
[rests gun on forearm]
Dick Pepperfield
How do you like your martinis, sir?
Jackie Moon
Stirred, in a half carafe.
[aims gun at crotch and pulls trigger]
Cornelius Banks
He shoots himself!
Jackie Moon
He shoots himself in the wiener!
[tosses gun down and it goes off suddenly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Compliments and Quirky Conversations
Trina
Thats wonderful. I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.
Cupcake
Now I know what you're thinking. "What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin cupcake?" Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?
Kenny
Mmmm. Gum.
Paps
Okay, you icy bastard, how about a hot cup-a joe!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Party Anthem from Scary Movie 2
Exorcist Party Go-ers
(singing) Shake ya ass! Watch ya self! Shake ya ass! Show me what you workin with!
Mrs. Voorhees
(singing) Attention, all you young players and pimps, right now is the place to be.
Father Harris
(singing) I thought I told y'all niggas before, y'all niggas don't fuck with me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Captain's Plans for a Hawaiian Getaway
Nathanial
I overheard the captain saying it would be jolly-jack splendid to spend a fortnight or two in Hawaii
Kenny
Yea... that sounds like the captain... you do good impressions.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.