Angel ParkerQuotes

Woman: Aren't you hot in there?

Jillian: Nope. They say people are descendants from apes but I think my family is descended from reptiles. They're all cold-blooded lawyers.

Woman: Oh, well I uh-

Jillian: What?

Woman: [[w:Objections to evolution|doesn't believe in evolution; [w:Charles Darwin|Darwin and all that; ''Walks away''] I don't- My family ]. ].

Jillian: Okay. Next. Hi. Chocolate or vanilla?

Joel: Um, I want both.

Jillian: You can't have both. You have to pick one.

Joel: You can give me both if you wanted to.

Jillian: Yeah, but we live in a polite society. There are rules. There are lots of things I'd like to do that I'm not allowed.

Joel: Like what?

Jillian: [[w:Malibu, California|a beach in Malibu] I don't know- I'd like to walk around naked for an entire year. I'd like to sleep in a tent on ]. Kill a few people. Quite a few, actually.

Joel: I'll have two cups of the chocolate.

Jillian: Well, you can have chocolate. Just one cup.

Joel: But the other girl always gives me two cups!

Jillian: She's not here.

Joel: Well, the other girl's a lot prettier than you are.

Jillian: Alright! First of all, you're seeing me with a hangover- no make-up! Secondly- I'm also a great deal more flexible than the girl who's usually here.

Joel: So, what?

Jillian: Well, you'll find out why it's important and people pee on that girls couch.

Joel's mother: [''Approaches''] Joel!

Joel: What?

Joel's mother: [''Takes ice cream from Joel''] I thought I told you to wait for me by the car. Why are you eating this junk?

Joel: I just had one bite.

Joel's mother: [''To Jillian''] Shouldn't you check with the mother before you give ice cream to a child?

Jillian: I usually do. But- Joel said that you were dying in a hospital. He was so sad. I couldn't resist.

Joel's mother: Joel!

Joel: I didn't say that! She said she wanted to kill people!

Jillian: [[w:Civil liberties|civil liberties] No! We were discussing ]! He's clearly taking that statement totally out of context.

Joel's mother: [''Growls''; ''Joel walks away with his mother and then turns and gives [[w:the finger|the finger] Come with me, right now! ] to Jillian]