The Lost Boys - Unexpected Aftershave Choices Among Family Members
Grandpa:
Anything in here that might pass for after-shave?
Sam:
How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Grandpa: [slaps some on]
Yeah, let me try some of that. Not bad!
Michael:
You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
Grandpa:
I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
Michael:
What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - The Importance of Reading the TV Guide
Grandpa:
Now, on Wednesdays when the mailman brings the TV Guide sometimes the address label is curled up just a little. You'll be tempted to tear it off. Don't. You'll only wind up rippin the cover and I don't like that. And stay outta here.
Sam:
Wait, you have a TV?
Grandpa:
No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - Santa Carla's Dark Reputation Unveiled
Michael:
Grandpa, is it true that Santa Carla's the murder capital of the world?
Grandpa:
There are some bad elements around here.
Sam:
Wait a second, let me get this straight. You're telling me we've moved to the murder capital of the world? Are you serious, Grandpa?
Grandpa:
Well, let me put it this way. If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once we'd have one hell of a population problem.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - Misinterpretations of Death in Family Dynamics
Michael: [about Grandpa]
Looks like he's dead!
Lucy:
No, he's just a deep sleeper.
Sam:
If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
Grandpa:
Playin dead. And from what I heard, doin a damn good job of it, too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - Unexpected Fortunes Revealed by Grandpa
Grandpa: [as Michael comes home in the morning]
Looks like I wasn't the only one who got lucky last night.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - Grandpa's Strict Household Rules
Grandpa:
Rules! We've got some rules around here. Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my cocktail peanuts, my Diet Pepsi and my double-thick animal crackers. Nobody touches the second shelf but me. Now, there's another rule around here, and I want you to pay very close attention to it. Don't touch anything. Everything is exactly where I want it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Lost Boys - Grandpa's Perspective on Marriage and Divorce
Grandpa:
Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew who didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.