Memorable Quotes from Barry Del Sherman
2 quotesBusiness Ethics and Personal Choices
Brad
I'm sure you can understand our need to cut corners around here.
[''To Lester sitting looking forlorn and far away before his desk'']
Lester
Oh, sure. Times are tight, and you gotta free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money. Right?
Brad
Exactly. So...
[''Stands up, ready to usher Lester out'']
Lester
Like the time when Mr. Flournoy used the company MasterCard to pay for that hooker, and then she used the card numbers and stayed at ] for, what was it, like, three months?
[[w:St. Regis Hotels & Resorts|the St. Regis]
Brad
That's unsubstantiated gossip!
[''Sits back down'']
Lester
That's fifty thousand dollars! That's somebody's salary. That's somebody who's gonna get fired because Craig HAS TO PAY WOMEN TO FUCK HIM!
Brad
Jesus, calm down! Nobody's getting fired yet. That's why we're having everyone write out a job description, mapping out in detail how they contribute. That way, management can assess who's valuable and--
Lester
Who's expendable.
Brad
It's just business.
Lester
I've been writing for this magazine for fourteen years, Brad. You've been here how long, a whole month?
Brad
I'm one of the good guys, Les. I'm trying to level with you. This is your one chance to save your job.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Corporate Life and Moral Dilemmas
Brad
My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you obviously have no interest in saving yourself.
[''Reading Lester's job description''; ''Lester lip syncs along'']
Lester
Brad, for fourteen years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.
Brad
Whatever. Management wants you gone by the end of the day.
Lester
Well, just what sort of severance package is management prepared to offer me? Considering the information I have about our Editorial Director buying pussy with company money - which, I think, would interest ], since it technically constitutes fraud; and I'm sure that some of our advertisers and rival publications might like to know about it as well. Not to mention... Craig's wife!
[[w:Internal Revenue Service|the I.R.S.; ''grins'']
Brad
What do you want?
Lester
One year's salary, with benefits.
Brad
That's not going to happen.
Lester
Well, what do you say I throw in ]
[[w:Sexual harassment in the workplace in the United States|a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?]
Brad
Against who?
[''Chuckles in disbelief'']
Lester
Against you! Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
[''Chuckles derisively'']
Brad
Man. You are one twisted fuck.
[''Whispers'']
Lester
Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.