Beau Bridges Quotes

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Tension Before a Scheduled Performance

Frank Baker I told everyone seven-fifteen. Didn’t I? Seven-fifteen.

[nervous]

Jack Baker She’ll get here.

Frank Baker Just like the day of the auditions, right? Jesus. How’s my hair?

Jack Baker Awe inspiring.

Frank Baker Yeah, well, yours isn’t. Let me run a comb through it.

Jack Baker Get out of here!

Frank Baker It’s not gonna hurt you.

Jack Baker I’ll hit you, Frank. I swear.

Frank Baker You hit me!

Jack Baker I told you I was gonna hit you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Tensions Rise Over Stale Food and Frustration

Jack Baker I think you better calm down, Frank.

Frank Baker I think you better make sure it’s your head that’s doing the thinking these days, little brother.

Susie Diamond This food’s been sitting here too long. It’s starting to make me feel SICK.

Jack Baker Why don’t you loosen the leash.

Frank Baker Let’s not let a whiff of perfume blow off fifteen years. Be reasonable, Jack.

Jack Baker I play three hundred nights a years with you, Frank. How much more reasonable you expect me to be?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Wizard

Conflict Over Exploitation and Anger

Sam You make money off of little kids, you miserable jerk! YA OUGHTA BE SHOT!

[he puts his truck in reverse]

Sam Do you want some more?! Huh?!

Putnam Son-of-a-bitch! I told you to stay out of my way, Woods!

[under his breath; puts his car in reverse and rams the truck and laughs cockily; he drives out of sight; Sam storms out of his truck]

Sam YOU CHICKENSHIT! Ah, Hell.

[furiously; defeated]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Conflict Between Brothers Over Dignity and Responsibility

Jack Baker What’s happened to you, Frank? You been kissing ass so long you’re starting to like it? You let that guy turn us into clowns tonight. We were always small-time, but we were never clowns, Frank. What’s happened to your dignity?

Frank Baker Dignity? Who the hell are you to talk about dignity? This where you get your dignity, Jack? This where you get your courage? No, let’s do it straight for once. I want to explain something to you, little brother. See, there are people in this world who depend on me. I’ve got a wife, and two kids who expect to wake up every morning with food on the table and heat in the house. I got a mortgage. I got car payments. And, oh yeah, I got you. My little brother Jack who’s so cool and so hip and so fucking sure he’s better than everyone else. Don’t you think I’d like to walk up to one of these assholes and blow smoke in his face? Goddamn right I would. But I can’t. I have to be responsible, little brother. I have to make sure the numbers balance out in my favor at the end of each month so everyone can go on living their lives. You don’t win medals for it, but you can be damn sure you’d all take notice if I folded up shop. So don’t talk to me about dignity, little brother. You’re drawing on a weak hand. Great. Terrific. Walk away. You’re good at that, Jack. You never could commit to anything, even a conversation.

[Frank reaches into Jack’s coat, coming away with the whiskey; Jack tries to grab the bottle but Frank holds it away; Jack stares at Frank, then turns and begins to walk away]

Jack Baker Is that what that was? Sounded more like a speech to me. Next time save it for the PTA.

Frank Baker You just had to, didn’t you, Jack? You couldn’t keep your cock in your pocket.

Jack Baker Hey. Who I fuck and who I don’t fuck is none of your fucking business. Got it?

Frank Baker It is when it affects my business.

Jack Baker Your business. YOUR business? Your business exists because of me.

Frank Baker YOU? Who’re you kidding? I make the calendar, I pay the expenses. Christ, I even make your shoes are shined. What do you do? Show up for a couple hours a night and smoke cigarettes.

Jack Baker Frank. If someone requested “Chopsticks,” you’d ask for the sheet music.

Frank Baker If it wasn’t for me, little brother, you’d be playing for dimes out of the back of a truck.

Frank Baker Yeah, you’re a real pro, Frank. You were doing such a bang up job a few months ago, you had ‘em paying us NOT to play. That’s fucking genius.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Audition Timing and Missed Opportunities

Susie Diamond This where the auditions are?

Frank Baker This is where the auditions WERE. We’re finished.

Susie Diamond What about me?

Frank Baker You’re an hour and a half late.

Susie Diamond Yeah, well, I had a little trouble catching a cab.

Frank Baker Punctuality. First rule of show business.

Susie Diamond This is show business?

Frank Baker Look, Miss. We’re tired, you have gum on your lip, and we’re going home.

Susie Diamond Just like that, huh? I come all the way down here, break a heel, and you’re not going to give me a chance because I have gum on my lip and I’m a few minutes late?

Frank Baker You’re an hour and a half late. Do you want me to say it again?

Susie Diamond It’s not exactly bewitching me. Besides, you’re not going anywhere.

Frank Baker I beg your pardon?

Susie Diamond Intuition, I’ve had a hunch about this all day. Only I gotta say, in my mind it was a little more glamorous. And anyway, if I’m so late how come you’re still here?

Frank Baker We ran long.

Susie Diamond Uh huh. So where’s the winner? See? What I tell you? Intuition.

[pause]

Frank Baker Jack.

Jack Baker What’ve we got to lose?

[shrugs]

Frank Baker Terrific. Thirty-eight.

Susie Diamond What’s that? Thirty-eight? You guys have some kind of code or something? You know, I’m sensing a lot of hostility from you.

Frank Baker Name?

Susie Diamond Susie. Susie Diamond.

Jack Baker Catchy. You have any previous experience as a singer, Miss Diamond?

Susie Diamond No.

Frank Baker You have any entertainment experience at all?

Susie Diamond Well... for the last couple years I’ve been on call for the Triple A Escort Service.

Frank Baker Any RATIONAL reason you think you can sing professionally, Miss Diamond?

Susie Diamond Well, I figure if you want to see if you can swim, throw yourself in the water. What’s the worst that can happen?

Frank Baker How about drown?

Susie Diamond You know, my bet is that you’re too literal a person.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Max Payne

Discontent with Pay and Recognition

BB Hensley And I still get paid like the Janitor.

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Comparing Feelings to Parsley

Frank Baker Okay, let's hear it. We trashed the Avedon, the Luau Lounge - what's our beef with Feelings'?

Susie Diamond Nothing... except who cares? I mean, does anybody really need to hear Feelings again in their lifetime? It's like parsley, okay? Take it away, nobody's going to know the difference.

Frank Baker Feelings is not parsley!

Susie Diamond Frank, to you Feelings may be goddamn filet mignon, but to me, it's parsley. It's less than parsley.

Frank Baker Look, Feelings, despite what you may think of it, has always been one of the bright moments of the show, and a consistent crowd-pleaser, and consequently we have an obligation to perform it. If we didn't, the audience would be disappointed.

Susie Diamond Oh. Well, they weren't exactly crying their eyes out on New Year's Eve.

Frank Baker You passed over Feelings'?

Susie Diamond Yeah. Oh, and Bali Hai went out with the bathwater, too.

Frank Baker Ah ha. I see. The cat goes away for the night, and the mice take over the orchestra.

Susie Diamond Hey! I ain't no mouse.

Frank Baker That's right - you're parsley.

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Brotherly Bonds and Underlying Tensions

Frank Baker So what’s there to talk about?

Jack Baker We’re still brothers.

Frank Baker I’m touched, Jack. Really.

Jack Baker Frank...

Frank Baker Look, Jack. If you want to piss away everything we’ve built over fifteen years, that’s fine. Just spare me the ruminations on brotherly love.

Jack Baker Listen to me, Frank...

Frank Baker I don’t want to listen to you anymore, Jack. What’re you going to tell me? That I wasted your life? That I twisted your arm for fifteen years? Well, forget it, little brother. That’s a lie. Hear me? A fucking lie.

Jack Baker You’re right. Okay? You’re right. I don’t blame you, Frank. I don’t blame anyone. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m drying up inside, Frank. I’ve been drying up for years. Do you understand? Somewhere along the way I started to close down. It’s like I had this big house and one day I just started painting the windows black, one by one. I mean, I sit in the fucking Hilton or the Sheraton or wherever, practically every night of my life, and from the minute I get onstage, I’m waiting for it to end. We play the same goddamn songs the same goddamn way every night. That isn’t enough for me. It just doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s dishonest. I can’t do that anymore. I’ve been lying to myself long enough.

[pause]

The Fabulous Baker Boys

Discontent with the Luau Lounge Experience

Susie Diamond Oh Christ, not the goddamn Luau Lounge again!

Frank Baker What's the matter with the Luau Lounge? They don't salt their peanuts?

Susie Diamond Singing Feelings knee-deep in paper orchids and plastic tiki lamps is not exactly my idea of a fun evening.

Frank Baker Fun? Who promised you fun? We get paid, remember?

Susie Diamond I’m just saying maybe we should vote on it. Or maybe... we should ask Jack what he thinks.

Frank Baker I don’t have to ask Jack what he thinks. I know what he thinks. It’s five days. The money’s green. We’re there.

Memorable Quotes from Beau Bridges