The Ref - Santa's Dietary Restrictions and Holiday Humor
Boy:
Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk.
George: [''quietly'']
Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?
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The Ref - Disillusionment with Holiday Traditions
George:
Yeah? Well, maybe Santa won't come back next year. Maybe he and the Easter Bunny will take a fuckin cruise to Jamaica and you can eat your own lousy cookies!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.