Memorable Quotes from Blythe Danner
4 quotesConcerns Over Parenting Choices and Teething Remedies
Jack Byrnes
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker
It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes
What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker
Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes
It was your idea?
Roz Focker
Yes.
Jack Byrnes
What is wrong with you people?!
Bernie Focker
You people?
Dina Byrnes
I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes
Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker
Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes
He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his development.
Roz Focker
The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker
Mom...
Jack Byrnes
What are you saying?
Roz Focker
I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here. And I've got news for you, Jack,. Prodigies don't eat their own boogers.
Jack Byrnes
And I have news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes
Okay, Dad. That's my fiancee.
Jack Byrnes
I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker
Why? Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes
The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frustrated]
Roz Focker
Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed?
Greg Focker
Mom, stop.
Bernie Focker
Key question!
Roz Focker
My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes
Would you spare me the drugstore psychology?
Greg Focker
Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP! Okay?! Jack, I'm not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying, so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone a second, I came back in, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
[everyone starts arguing; the arguing stops]
Jack
Oh, that's it! Greg just said that's it, so I feel much better now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pet Rescue and Safety Concerns
Jack Byrnes
So much for the protection of our rolling safe house.
[After Bernie wrecks Jack's toilet to save his dog Moses]
Dina Byrnes
Oh, honey, he was trying to save his pet. I mean, what if it was Jinxy who got flushed into a toilet?
Jack Byrnes
Mr. Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to do in the event of a submersion.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Mother's Unexpected Revelation
Lillian
So, there are you darling, Mommy's a dyke.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Irony of Love in a Small Town
Lillian
It's one of the ironies of my otherwise straight forward life that I have fallen in love twice. Both times with people who insist on living in this godforsaken town.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.