Memorable Quotes from Bob Newhart
10 quotesFinding Your Way Back to Christmas Spirit
Santa
Listen, some people, they just lose sight of what's important in life. That doesn't mean they can't find their way again, huh? Maybe all they need is just a little Christmas spirit.
Buddy
Well, uh, I... I'm good at that.
Santa
I know you are.
Papa Elf
And I'll... I'll always, uh, I'll always be here for you. Now, uh... Go... uh, get.
Buddy
Bye, guys.
Arctic Puffin
Bye, buddy. Take care.
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A Conversation Between Buddy and Papa Elf
Papa Elf
Buddy, are you okay?
Buddy
I'm sorry, Papa. I just need some alone time.
Papa Elf
Buddy, I... I think we... we have to talk. Buddy, uh, I think there's something I... I probably should tell you. You probably should have found out a long... A long time ago.
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Buddy Learns About His Father's Workplace
Buddy
My dad works there?
Papa Elf
].
[[w:Empire state building|Empire State Building]
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A Father's Hidden Past Unveiled
Papa Elf
I then proceeded to tell Buddy of how his father had fallen in love when he was very young with a beautiful girl named Susan Wells, and how Buddy was born and put up for adoption by his mother, and how she had later passed away. I... I told him his father had never even known that Buddy was born, and most importantly, I told him where his father was... uh, in a magical land called New York City.
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Challenges of Being Human in Elf Society
Papa Elf
As much as, uh, Buddy was accepted by his family and friends, there were a few drawbacks to being, uh, a human in, uh an elf's world.
Buddy
Hey, Ming Ming. Um... I'm gonna be a little bit short on today's quota.
Ming Ming
It's all right, Buddy. Just how many Etch-a-Sketches did you get finished? Come on, Buddy. How many?
Buddy
I made, uh... 85.
[''All the elves stop and stare'']
Ming Ming
Eighty-five? That puts you... 915 off the pace.
Female elf
Ooh... that's bad.
Buddy
Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy maker in the world. I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
[''All the elves gasps'']
Ming Ming
No, Buddy, you're not a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. We all just have different talents, that's all.
Buddy
Seems like everyone else have the same talents except for me.
Ming Ming
You... you have, you have lots of talents, uh... special talents in fact, like um, uh...
Buddy
Special talents?
Female elf in blue
You changed the batteries in the smoke detector.
Male elf in yellow
You sure did... triple-As. And in six months, you'll have to check em again... Won't he?
Male elf in red
And you're the only baritone in the elf choir. You bring us down whole octave.
Male elf in orange
In a good way.
Ming Ming
See, Buddy? You're not a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. You're just... special.
Papa Elf
And so, Buddy was sent where the... the special elves work.
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Identity and Community in Relationships
Walter Brackett
I'm a member of the community. And I'm gay.
Tom Halliwell
But you're Howard's brother. As you know.
[pause]
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Training for Santa's Sleigh Mechanics
Papa Elf
Well, I think it's time you start your tinker training.
Buddy
Santa's sleigh.
[''He pokes head in sleigh garage and gasps'']
Papa Elf
You're gonna help me make it fly.
Buddy
I thought the magical reindeer made The sleighs fly.
Papa Elf
And where do the reindeer get their magic from?
Buddy
]. Everybody knows that.
[[w:Christmas spirit|Christmas spirit]
Papa Elf
Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus.
Buddy
What?! Well, who do they think puts all their toys under the tree?
Papa Elf
Well, there's a rumor floating around that, uh, that the parents do it.
Buddy
That's... that's ridiculous. I mean, parents couldn't do that all in one night. What about Santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat them, too?
Papa Elf
Yeah, I, uh, I... I know, uh, and every year less and less people believe in Santa Claus. I mean, we have a real energy crisis on our hands.
Buddy
Oh.
Papa Elf
I mean, just see how low the, uh Claus meter is.
Buddy
That's shocking.
Papa Elf
That's why I came up with this little beauty in ].
[[w:1960s|the '60s; ''Turns over sleigh engine'']
Buddy
Wh- what is it?
Papa Elf
It's a Kringle 3000... A 500-reindeer power jet turbine engine. Without it, the sleigh couldn't get more than, uh, a few feet off the ground. Well, it looks like we got a short in the thermo coupler. You wanna give me a hand with that? You want me to help?
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The Search for the Philosopher's Stone
Judson
So, did you find the Philosopher's Stone?
Flynn
(digging in his pockets) Oh, yeah.
Charlene
Ask him how much it costs?
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The Library's Plans for Flynn's Return
Charlene
(about Flynn, after he leaves for vacation) Do you think he'll come back?
Judson
He'll come back. The library has plans for him.
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Elves and Their Unique Jobs
Papa Elf
Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here. About the, uh, the story. Elves love to tell stories. I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things You... you didn't know about elves. Another... another interesting, uh, elf-ism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night, while, you know, while the old... the old cobbler sleeps.
Shoe elf
Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.
Papa Elf
] scene] You can bake cookies in a tree.
[''Scene cuts to an [[w:Tree house|oak tree house]
Elf
Hey!
Papa Elf
As you can imagine, it's, uh, ]
[[w:Keebler Company|dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season.]
Baker elf
I wanna make shoes!
[''Scene of elves fleeing an oak tree going up in flames'']
Papa Elf
But the third job... uh, some call it, uh, "The show," or... or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to, and that is to build toys in ].
[''scene cuts to the workshop scene''; [w:Santa's workshop|Santa's workshop]
Supervisor Elf
Only two weeks left till Christmas!
Papa Elf
It's a job only an elf can do. Our... our nimble fingers, natural cheer, and active minds are perfect for toy-building. They... they tried using ] and ], But the gnomes drank too much... and the trolls weren't toilet trained. No human being has ever set... set foot in Santa's workshop. Uh, that is until about 30 years ago, and, as you may have guessed, that's where our story begins.
[[w:gnomes|gnomes; [w:trolls|trolls; ''scene of gnome belches''; ''Troll in diaper farts'']
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