Memorable Quotes from Brian Doyle-Murray
12 quotesConfronting Reality with Humor and Tough Love
Ghost of Christmas Past
GO BACK TO JERSEY, YA MORON!
[after driving harmlessly through a van; laughs]
Ghost of Christmas Present
Sometimes, you have to SLAP them in the face just to get their attention!
Earl Cross
All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work...'My back hurts, my legs ache, I'm only four! The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better!
[pauses for a second]
Promo Announcer
The night the reindeer died!
Elliot Loudermilk
].
[[w:Bugs Bunny|Hello wabbit]
James Cross
My brother, The King of Christmas.
[last lines]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Business Proposition and Personal Choice
Voit Zerbe
You know, if you were smart, you'd sell that place to me and get out of here. Sure, are you kidding—a guy like you in New York with money in his pocket? Oh, forget it. Take my advice: sell it.
Ernest Reed
I say this for you, Mr. Zerbe: you've got style. But it's not for me.
Voit Zerbe
Well, think it over. I've gotta go, so good luck.
Ernest Reed
See you around.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Anticipation of a New Opportunity
Voit Zerbe
Sol, the boys are back. Our ship has come in. Now we've gotta deliver.
[during a polo game]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A New Adventure Awaits in the Caymans
Voit Zerbe
Forget this place. You guys are gonna love the Caymans!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Owner eager to sell Club Paradise
Voit Zerbe
Gentlemen, I just spoke to the owner of Club Paradise, and believe me, he is dying to sell.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Name "Moniker
Voit Zerbe
Moniker? What kind of a name is "Moniker"?
[after hearing Jack's name]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Miscommunication Among Friends
Trina
And secondly, don't ever call me missy again or you'll end up losing the rest of your teeth.
Paps
Sassy little thang ain't she? Want me to give her a SPANKING?
Skunk
Why doesn't she give ME a spanking?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Greetings and Introductions at the Gathering
Eleanor
Oh, hello!
[chuckles]
Aunt Tina
Hello, we're here.
Eleanor
Oh, Crenshaw!
Aunt Beatrice
Hi, auntie.
Frederick
Crenshaw!
Uncle Crenshaw
Frederick!
Frederick
Little high, Little low!
Littles
Little hey, Little ho!
Aunt Beatrice
We come bearing gifts for young Stuart.
Cousin Edgar
Yes, where is my new nephew?
Uncle Crenshaw
The Little family's getting bigger and bigger.
Stuart
Boy. That's a lot of Littles.
George
Uncle Crenshaw!
Uncle Crenshaw
There's my favorite little nephew.
Uncle Stretch
Oh, you can't say that anymore, Crenshaw.
Aunt Tina
That's right. Now we have two favorite little nephews.
Cousin Edgar
That's right. Where is the lad?
Uncle Stretch
He has a lot of gifts to open.
George
Are any of those for me?
Frederick
Attention, everybody. We'd like to introduce you to someone.
Eleanor
This is Stuart.
Stuart
Hello, everyone.
Uncle Stretch
He's a, a...
Aunt Beatrice
...dorable!
Aunt Tina
Adorable!
Uncle Stretch
Yeah, that's right. I couldn't think of the word.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Living in the Past: A Reflection on Potential
Janitor
High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the pictures of your glory days, wondering what might have been. Seems to me you guys are living in the past.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Significance of Schmelling in Conversation
Eleanor
Oh, Stuart, look!
Frederick
Look at that! This is a real Schmelling.
Stuart
Those are the best kind.
Uncle Crenshaw
You know what they say: "If it ain't Schmelling"...
Littles
It ain't bowling".
Uncle Stretch
Look here, Stuart. Climb on up here, son. Plant your caboose right up here.
Aunt Beatrice
He may have to grow into it.
Aunt Tina
I think he's grown a little since we've been here.
Grandma Estelle
That's what happened to me. One summer, I just shot right up.
Stuart
May I say something? In the orphanage, we used to tell fairy tales of finding our families and having a party like this. A party with cakes and presents and all varieties of meat loaf. A party with a big family who came from far away just to wish us well. I don't know much about families, but this must be the nicest family in the world. So I just wanted to thank each of you. Because now I know, fairy tales are real.
Snowbell
Fairy tales are real? Oy, I think I'm gonna cough up a furball.
Uncle Crenshaw
And now, it's time for the best present of all. It's something for you and George.
Frederick
George. Stand next to Stuart.
Uncle Crenshaw
This is something that gave your father and me hours of enjoyment when we were young brothers just like you and Stuart. This ball belonged to your great-great-grandfather, Jedediah Little. Remember, Frederick, those long summer days playing catch?
[He gives an old brown baseball to George.]
Frederick
Yeah.
Cousin Edgar
George, why don't you take your brother outside and toss around the old horsehide?
Uncle Crenshaw
Yeah, what do you say, George? You ready?
George
Are you all nuts? Bicycles and bowling balls? How's he gonna toss a baseball? How's he gonna do any of those things? He's not my brother, he's a mouse.
[thinking that everyone lost his mind]
Uncle Stretch
Time to go.
Aunt Beatrice
Excellent idea.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Recognition in a Familiar Space
Janitor
Mike O'Donell!
[to Mike, staring at his old basketball team picture]
Mike O Donnell
Do I know you?
Janitor
No, but I know you.
Mike O Donnell
Oh, yeah?
Janitor
High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the picture of the glory days wondering "What might have been". Seems to me you guys are living in the past.
Mike O Donnell
Well, of course I wanna live in the past. It was better there...
Janitor
I bet you wish you could do it all over again?
Mike O Donnell
You got that right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fishing and Its Unpleasant Smell
Skunk
We're just here to catch fish and stink.
Paps
Mostly the latter.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.