Carla Gallo Quotes

Aldous: [''Jonathan is playing a guitar as monotonously as ever''] When Frank Sinatra moves his arm, you can see my dad. There. There!

Jonathan: What about... What was that fucking album you brought out last? It was... What was it? African something or Zambezi, or what was it?

Aldous: African Child.

Jonathan: Child. Child. Yeah, yeah, African Child. You should have stayed away from that one, I think. I think you should've aborted that child, eh? You got that? You know, mate?

Wife: I loved it.

Jonathan: She loved it, yeah. Yeah. She really did. No, she told me that she loved it.

Wife: Yeah? I loved it. So enlightening.

Jonathan: [''Waitress has arrived with a tray of drinks''] We didn't order these.

Waitress: These drinks are on the house.

Jonathan: Oh, really? Great. Thank you very much. Funny, isn't it? You get rich and then everything comes free.

Aldous: Yeah.

Jonathan: So what brings you to Vegas?

Aaron: Aldous wanted to visit you.

Aldous: No. No, we were just passing through. We were near.

Jonathan: Really?

Aldous: Actually, I've got a show at the Greek Theatre in LA.

Jonathan: Terrific! Terrific! Great!

Aaron: It's tomorrow, actually.

Jonathan: Really? Terrific!

Wife: We should go see that.

Jonathan: Well, I'm not sure I... No, I think I'm busy tomorrow night. I'm busy tomorrow.

Aldous: Don't worry about it. It's not set in stone or...

Aaron: It's actually very set in stone.

Jonathan: No, some of us have to work for a living, right? You know.

Aldous: Yeah, cause I remember I became a rock star as a result of winning a quiz show.

Aldous: What?

Jonathan: All right, all right. I'll check the schedule.

Aldous: Dad! I like it here.

Jonathan: Cheers, son. Yeah, I like to come here and clear my head. You remember that first strip club I brought you to?

Aldous: I do. Fondly. Very fondly.

Jonathan: So listen, what are you going to open with at the Greek?

Aldous: Love Explodes.

Jonathan: Really? I think you should open with Going Up. I love that fucking song. It's fucking genius. You know, it's a great thing to open with.

Aldous: I mean, getting them up, getting them, fuck, right there in the fucking palm of your hand right away. Going Up.

Sergio: [''On the phone with Aaron while driving''] You missed sound check, bitch! You know how much that's gonna cost us?

Aaron: I apologize. Look, things got out of control.

Sergio: But, hey, we're at The Standard now, so it's all fine, because we're all settled in and we're here. Guess what. I'm downstairs in the lobby. Why don't you come on down?

Aaron: [''Sergio appears behind him looking very annoyed''] You know what? Actually, Aldous just went to sleep. So I just think it'd be better if he just, like, got some rest. April Fools.

Sergio: I don't want to hear that shit. You fucked up.

Aaron: He doesn't do anything you want him to do! He's a crazy person!

Sergio: Okay, shut the fuck up and listen. There's a change of plans. I hope you got a good night's sleep. We going to party these pussy limey motherfuckers into the ground. They gonna be dying to leave Vegas. But we gonna have to mind fuck them. A deep mind fuck.

Aldous: [''Calls across the strip club''] Sergio!

Sergio: Aldous, hey! Have a drink with us!

Jonathan: Come join us!

Aldous: Whoo! Vegas!

Sergio: What's up, baby?

Aldous and Jonathan: Vegas! Vegas! Vegas! Join in!

Sergio: [''To Aaron''] Let's get our mind fuck on.

Sergio: Now, the Rat Pack was the shit! Yes, those guys right there could croon! Whenever I would hear Frank or Dean or Sammy sing, shit would just warm my heart! You know, it just makes me fucking tingle!

Jonathan: It's nice, isn't it?

Aldous: Yeah, I feel that. I feel that, Sergio. Sometimes I think that I was Frank Sinatra in a past life, even though I was born before he died.

Sergio: No, I'm Frank Sinatra.

Jonathan: What? No. You? No. No. No, no, no. Sorry, mate. You can't be Frank! Can't be Frank. No.

Aldous: Yeah. I'm Frank.

Sergio: What you trying to say? I gotta be Sammy?

Aldous: Yeah.

Sergio: Why I gotta be Sammy? Cause I'm black, I gotta be Sammy Davis?

Jonathan: Well, you know... I look more like Frank than I do look like Sammy!

Aaron: Hey, so it looks like you got everything under control, so I might call it an evening.

Sergio: Sit your ass... Has he been acting like a bitch this whole time?

Aldous: Yes, he has. Yeah, he's been a right little bitch.

Sergio: [''Grabs an attractive stripper''] What are you doing? You are representing Pinnacle. Excuse me. Come here for a second. What's your name?

Destiny: Destiny.

Sergio: Destiny, this is Aaron. He's my personal attendant. He runs shit for me.

Destiny: [''She shakes his hand''] Nice to meet you. Aaron.

Sergio: Destiny. Destiny, pay attention. You are gonna go and have sex with Aaron. Right now.

Aaron: That's disrespectful.

Sergio: [[w:Word play|go with your destiny] Aaron, ].

Destiny: [''Laughing''] That's my name, Destiny. And you're using it two ways.

Destiny: I'm actually in a band. My life is music. I'm in an all-girl cover band and we do the Pussycat Girl's songs. And we're called the Pussy Kittens. Can you hook me up with Aldous?

Aaron: Sure.

Destiny: Cool.

Aaron: Okay, what are you doing? What? Don't do that.

Destiny: I feel like I want to show you something.

Aaron: I feel like I don't want to see it, though. All right! Hey! So that's your vagina. Right on.

Destiny: No, but look at it! Look at the hair. Look at the pubic hair! It's... Yeah, it's a microphone. For my work. Hello. Testing, one, two, three! Is this thing on? Hello?

Aaron: Hey, so put that away, all right?

Destiny: Do you want to sing hair-aoke?

Aaron: I'm okay. I'm all right. Oh, my God.

Destiny: I think you're really sexy because you look like Dennis Quaid.

Aaron: What? Really? Randy Quaid, maybe.

Destiny: Pants off!

Aaron: No!

Destiny: Off with the pants. Honestly... Pants-off party!

Aaron: You're acting crazy! Stop. No!

Destiny: Hello.

Aaron: [''Destiny produces a [[w:dildo|dildo] All right. Fun and games are over. Let's relax for a second. Let's just, let's just... ] from her purse] You carry that around with you?

Aaron: [[w:Purell|Purell-d] Stop! When's the last time you ] that thing?

Destiny: Kiss it. You like it.

Aaron: I want to go home!

Destiny: This is going inside of you!

Aaron: No! Get off of me! What are you doing? Oh, my God! Why does this keep happening to me?

Destiny: Just relax.

Aaron: No!

Destiny: Take your medicine. Yes, yes.

Aaron: Why does it have balls?

Jonathan: That was really nice. No, it's really nice, you know, playing together like that.

Aldous: Yeah.

Jonathan: We should do it more often.

Aldous: We should, Dad.

Jonathan: [[w:Revenue|could make loads of dough; [w:Cher|Cher; [w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion; [w:Elton John|Elton John] Yeah, you know, there's a ballroom space opening up at the Golden Nugget. I know the owner a bit, you know? I could hook you up with a permanent gig there. We ]. Well, they're all doing it, you know. ]. ]. ].

Aldous: If you want money from me, Dad, just ask.

Jonathan: I don't want your fucking money, do I? I just want to help your fucking career, don't I?

Aldous: My career don't need help. Really?

Jonathan: Your last record, you know how many it sold? Don't need help? You sure fucking do.

Aldous: So you know the precise sales figures for me last album. When was me birthday? Surprise me. Now, look, look... When was me birthday?

Jonathan: Aldy, Aldy, Aldy! You never would have made it without me.

Aldous: I did make it without you. I made it in spite of you.

Jonathan: You inherited all your musical talent from me! I wrote all your songs from the tip of my cock.

Aldous: Right. That's it. So, like, I've been plagiarizing from your ball bag.

Jonathan: Where does the DNA come... Where does your talent come from?

Aldous: Here. Brilliant bit of biology, Dad. Yeah, I think that's what Darwin discovered on the Galapagos Isles. That music can be written in someone's spunk.

Jonathan: I'm talking fucking facts.

Aaron: I think I've just been raped.

Aldous: What's that?

Aldous: [''Holds up a joint''; ''Hands joint to Jonathan''] Raped? Here you go, mate. That'll take the edge off. Yeah, give him that. Make yourself useful.

Jonathan: [''Jonathan hands joint to Aaron''] Here you go.

Aaron: All right? What is this?

Aldous: It's called a Jeffrey, Aaron. Bit of this, bit of that.

Jonathan: [''Shows a picture of Aldous as a youth''] Here. Have a look. Have a look at this. Aldous Snow wasn't always so pretty, was he, eh?

Aldous: What are you showing him that for, Dad? Why do you carry that photograph?

Jonathan: Remember when we used to box? You used to get in the ring, wheezing around. Do you remember?

Aaron: Hey, what's in this? My heart's starting to beat really fast.

Jonathan: Yeah. You know...

Aldous: [[w:Neapolitan ice cream|a drug Neapolitan; ''Holds up phone''; ''Takes Aaron's picture''] Keep it traditional. It's like ]. Oh, my God, look at his little boat. What a lovely little boat race. Yeah, let me get a shot of that. Hold it, hold it. Cheese! I'll never tire of looking at that git.

Aaron: Why the fuck is it called a Jeffrey?

Aldous: Cause who could be scared of a Jeffrey?

Jonathan: Yeah, Jeffrey's just this nice bloke from down the road, isn't he?

Aaron: What's wrong with you?

Aldous: Hello, I'm Jeffrey!

Jonathan: I've just moved in. Yes, I'm Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Jeffrey.

Aldous: [[w:Varicose veins|varicose veins] My wife has got ]!

Aaron: [[w:Myocardial infarction|I'm having a heart attack] ]. I'm having a heart attack.

Aldous: You're not having a heart attack, Aaron.

Jonathan: I think he might be having a heart attack.

Aldous: He's not. He's all right. Oh, no. Don't wind him up.

Aaron: I'm having a heart attack.

Jonathan: He is. He's having a heart attack.

Aaron: I'm telling you. Listen to your dad! He's right!

Aldous: He's not having a heart attack.

Jonathan: He looks like he's having a heart attack, doesn't he?

Aldous: [''Spots an [[w:ant|ant; ''Aldous deliberately inhales the ant and Aaron whimpers in fear''] Aaron, come with me, mate. Just get away from him. He's an idiot. It's all right. Just take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. That's what you need to do. Come here. We're together, mate, all right? I shouldn't have given you the Jeffrey. That was a mistake. I'm so sorry. But relax now. It's over. Everything is beautiful. The world is beautiful. Everything is cool. Look around us, we're... Look at that, look. Look at these. ] on a wall and picks it off to show Aaron] Look at this tiny, simple beauty of this tiny little ant. Isn't that lovely? See? We're at one with that. So lovely. It's nice, beautiful. Isn't it beautiful? And lovely, and wonderful, and pure and... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. No. I'm on the Jeffrey, too. Now just breathe deeply. Okay. Okay. That won't last. No. That's the joy of the Jeffrey, you see. It goes away, but then it comes back! Don't worry. It doesn't do that. You're gonna be okay. Don't listen to him, don't listen to him. Here. Put your hand here. Just touch the furry wall. Stay with me. Be calm. Be calm. Just stroke the furry wall. You're with the furry wall. With the furry wall now. Dad! Stop bullying my mate!

Jonathan: You sound just like your mum.

Aldous: Don't talk about my mum.

Sergio: Y'all need to take a hit of this Jeffrey! It'll calm you down!

Jonathan: Sammy's right! Right, I've got a question. She still seeing that soft-dick postman, eh? Or has he left her as well?

Aldous: [''Aldous turns and calls to Aaron''; ''Jonathan grabs [[w:Acoustic guitar|an acoustic guitar] You're gonna die on your own, old man. You're gonna die and I'm gonna fucking laugh when you die, you old cunt. Aaron, stop stroking the furry wall! We're going... ] and smashes it on Aldous back and then bodyslams Aldous on a pool table] Get off!

Aaron: Hey, shouldn't somebody stop this?

Sergio: Feel how good this feels? I'm gonna cover the whole outside of my house in this material.

Jonathan: [''Aldous attempts to escape by crawling under a [[w:Culvert|culvert] ] and Jonathan grabs Aldous by the ankles] Come back here. Get back here. Get...

Sergio: My house is gonna look like a fucking werewolf.

Aaron: What the fuck?

Jonathan: Go on, run away!

Aldous: Stop chasing me!

Sergio: See, Aaron? The plan is working. This is what old pussy used to look like in the 70s. I miss that.

Aldous: [''Aldous punches Jonathan in the face''] You're a very bad parent!

Jonathan: [''He draws a pistol''] I'll show you bad, eh?

Aldous: What are you doing?

Aaron: That's a gun! He's got a gun!

Sergio: Now that's what I'm talking about.

Aldous: [''To Aaron''] Oh, no. Where did that come from? Hey! Keep stroking the wall! Keep stroking the wall!

Jonathan: That's Jeffrey's gun.

Sergio: [''Sergio deflects gun upwards and Jonathan discharges it''] No one endangers my artist!

Aaron: Somebody help me, please!

Aldous: I'm coming, Aaron!

Destiny: This is so rock star.

Aaron: I'm having a heart attack! Somebody take me to the hospital! It's on North Casino Way! Calm down. I'm having a heart attack!

Aldous: You're having a heart attack, are you?

Aaron: I am!

Aldous: [''Seduced by the furry wall''] Jesus! Why can't everything be this simple?

Jonathan: [''Throwing a wine bottle''; ''Sergio takes cover behind a mini fridge door and throws a bottle and Jonathan responds with throwing dishes''] Sergio, fancy a drink, eh?

Aldous: Sergio would have made you bring a medical kit.

Aaron: It's over there! It's over there!

Jonathan: [''He frisbees a metal casserole dish lid''; ''The lid hits Sergio in the head, knocking him out and Jonathan throws up both hands in celebration''; ''He glances at Sergio again who has strangely disappeared''] Fucker. Yeah! I'm okay. Right!

Aldous: [''Aldous grabs Aaron with medical kit in mouth and manhandling him away and throws him to the floor''; ''Gets on top of him''] Come here!

Aaron: No! No. No.

Aldous: Now I'm gonna stab you in the heart with this adrenaline needle.

Aaron: [''Aldous injects Aaaron''] What? What? I'm alive!

Sergio: [''Sergio grabs Jonathan by ankles and drags him down steps''; ''Two Pinnacle Records employee appear''] See if you like this. Where the hell you been?

Bodyguard: We went to see Cher.

Sergio: Cher? How was it?

Bodyguard: Amazing.

Jonathan: [''He lunges at Sergio''; ''Aaron lunges at Jonathan who turns around gets scratched in the face''; [w:Catwoman|Catwoman] This is all your fault! He's fucking ]!

Aldous: [''Grabs Aaron and manhandles him away''] You're so mean! That's enough!

Jonathan: [''Sergio grabs a [[w:lava lamp|lava lamp] It's not easy being a parent. ] and smashes it on Jonathan's head] Shit!

Aldous: [''Sergio throws Jonathan headfirst into a TV screen smashing it and Destiny cheers''] I'm sorry, pops, you okay?

Sergio: [''Sergio grabs a hot coal from a pit fire and immediately drops it onto the furry rug, starting a fire''] Now, this is what the music industry is all about.

Aaron: Sergio's gone crazy.

Sergio: I love this game!

Aldous: He's Jeffreyed. Let's go! Bye!

Sergio: [''He then gives chase after Aaron and Aldous down a hallway''] No, I don't think so.

Aaron: This adrenaline's crazy! I've never run so fast in my life!

Aldous: I don't have my luggage!

Aaron: Fuck your luggage! We'll get you new luggage!

Sergio: Where you going? Run all the way back to LA!

Aldous: Sergio is chasing us!

Aaron: This is the longest hallway of all time!

Aldous: [[w:Stanley Kubrick|Kubrickian] It's ]!

Sergio: You cannot outrun me! I am black!

Aaron and Aldous: [''Sergio is chasing them along [[w:Las Vegas Strip|The Strip] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Please, driver! Just drive it! Go! Now! Go! Go! Go! Go! Drive! Drive faster! Quickly! Go! Oh, no! Oh, my God! Oh! ] gets hit by car] Stop, stop! Stop!

Sergio: [''He watches Aaron and Aldous drive away''] Why aren't you bitches going? Come on! The plan worked! Now that's a mindfuck!

Carla GalloQuotes

Get Him to the Greek - Critique of an Artist's Controversial Album