Cathy MoriartyQuotes

Ramona: I don't care about your weight or your false teeth.

Earl Keese: I haven't got false teeth!

Ramona: I'm sorry, I guess they just look false.

Ramona: He tried to pork me.

Earl Keese: Pork you? What?

Ramona: You know you did.

Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.

Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.

Earl Keese: Enid... help me.

Ramona: Now, I'm just going to go under the covers and take a little inventory.

Earl Keese: You're really wonderful!

Ramona: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Is it so hard having your fantasies come to life?

Ramona: God, does it always shrivel up like that when you shower?

Ramona: I was real friendly with a boy named Earl once - well, twice really.

Montana Moorehead: [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!

Jeffrey Anderson: I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me?!

Edmund Edwards: [offstage, delighted] This is what I meant. This is what I told them to do. This is soap opera!

Jeffrey Anderson: Doctor!

Ariel Maloney: A second opinion... this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.

Rose Schwartz: [German accent] Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigation, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse, Montana Moorehead. Because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island.

Rose Schwartz: [normal voice] Hello.

Montana Moorehead: [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!

Edmund Edwards: [offstage] She's a boy!

David Barnes: [starts gagging] Yeah, well we knew that.

Edmund Edwards: Are you okay?

David Barnes: [weak voice] I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others.

Lori Craven: MOTHER!

Lori Craven: No, I can't let you do this!

Burton White: [off stage] She spoke?

Jeffrey Anderson: She spoke!

Montana Moorehead: Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!

Lori Craven: I can always speak! Mother...

Montana Moorehead: She's MY mother!

Celeste Talbert: MONTANA, SHUT UP!

Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office; to Montana] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird. Do you mind?

Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave?

Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave.

Montana Moorehead: David...

David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please?

Montana Moorehead: [storms out] No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally. I hate you! I hate you, you pig!

David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit.

Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch!

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...

Ariel Maloney: Bitch!

David Barnes: Hag!

Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

Casper: Hey, that's my treasure!

Dibs: Stay back! Keep away from me.

Kat: Casper!

Dibs: Don't come near me, you spiteful spook, or I'll knock you into the next world.

Kat: Come on. Let's go.

Carrigan: Ta-da! Hey, "poppin fresh," it's my turn in the oven! DIBS! Get this thing cooking, you blasted little worm, you!

Dibs: [grabs the vial] Ah, Carrigan! How kind of you to drop in. You know, if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's always kick em when they're down. And baby, you're six feet under! Oh, what a shame! Sorry, sweetheart. We're through.

Carrigan: [gasps] I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm, you!

Dibs: [chuckles] You can haunt me all you want, but it's gonna be in a great big expensive house with lovely purple wallpaper, and great big green carpets, and a little dog called Carrigan... a bitch, just like you! I got the power! I got the treasure!

Carrigan: And you have a flight to catch!

Dibs: Huh?

Carrigan: [turns to Kat and Casper, calmly] Any other takers?

Casper: No. But aren't you forgetting something?

Carrigan: What?

Casper: Your unfinished business.

Carrigan: My what?

Kat: You know, unfinished business. All ghosts have unfinished business. That's why they don't cross over.

Carrigan: [laughs maniacally until a flash of light pierces through her as a sign that she is crossing over; as more flashes of light appear; screams and disappears] Unfinished business? I have no unfinished business! I have my treasure, my mansion. I have everything. I'm just perfect! Wait! Wait! I lied! I have unfinished business! Lots of unfinished business! I'm not ready to cross over yet! WAIT! YOU TRICKED ME, YOU ROTTEN LITTLE BRATS!

Mary Brown: [to Graham] It's your choice; you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.

Mary Brown: [to Megan] : Get out of bed! You hormonal hussy! I can't believe you did this!

Mary Brown: I have told you over and over again! No more sipping! Chug it, like a man! Go on, chug!

Mary Brown: Foreplay is for sissies! Real men go in, unload and pull out!

Joan White: It's like a fucking car accident. One minute you're cruising along. Next minute, you've got no legs.

Joan White: Ah, Caryanne? Er, listen. I've got a marital problem.

Alex: You know my wife?

Reba: Yeah.

Alex: How do you know she like gone with the wind?

Reba: She's a friend of mine.

Alex: Jesus, she knows everybody. Where the hell was I?

Reba: Well, sugar. I think that was a real good question.

Alex: What do you mean?

Reba: Where were you?