Chris TuckerQuotes

Smokey: Damn!

Smokey: What up, Big Worm?

Big Worm: How much you got left?

Smokey: Man, I got a lot.

Big Worm: You still haven't sold that weed, Smokey?

Smokey: Man, I'm trying to, Worm. Niggas are broke these days.

Big Worm: I don't think you applying yourself, Smokey!

Smokey: Huh?

Big Worm: You smokin my shit?

Smokey: Hell no! Fuck with your shit? Hell no!

Big Worm: [pulls a gun closer to him] You smokin my shit?

Smokey: Now, why would I want to do shit like that?

Big Worm: I'm gonna have to fuck you up, Smokey! Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions.

Smokey: Worm! Now you the last nigga whose money I'd mess with. I steal from my mama before I mess with your shit, and you know this, man!

Big Worm: [Drives off] We'll see.

Smokey: [under his breath] Florida Evans looking motherfucker.

Smokey: [Running over to the knocked out Deebo; searching Deebo's pockets and takes the money from his shirt pocket; raising the money to a knocked out Deebo's face] You got knocked the fuck out, man! Give me my goddamn money. Payback is a motherfucker, ain't it, nigga?

Red: [Removing the silver necklace off Deebo's neck] My grandmother gave me this chain.

Ezal: [He takes Deebo's sneakers and struggles for a bit before successfully removing them; He leaves the knife on top Deebo's chest] Deebo! Deebo! Man, you should've been bobbin and weavin'. Look at ya'. Get up! Since you ain't, maybe I'll take these shoes! Big foot, motherfucker. You can have your knife too. Cause I steal, I don't kill.

Smokey: I won! Gimme my money!

Deebo: You what?

Smokey: I lost.

Deebo: Roll the dice.

Red: Deebo.

Deebo: (hands his money for another player to hold on to) Hold my money. Watch.

Red: Can I talk to you for a second?

Smokey: Ohh, shit!

Red: Pop's trippin', man. Move yo ass from my bike back. You know I wouldn't trip.

Deebo: What bike?

Red: The beach cruiser, the one I let you use a couple o weeks ago. The one I've been askin you about.

Deebo: Ohh, that bike... Hey, I know that you wanted it back, homie. It's right here...

Red: Let's just say it's both ours, down at my house and prove it.

Deebo: Cool.

Smokey and friends: Ohh, shit! (all laugh)

Deebo: THAT'S MY BIKE, PUNK!

Smokey: Goddamn! (laughs as he runs to the downed Red) You got knocked the fuck out! (laughs again)

Deebo: OH, YOU WANT SOME OF THIS TOO, OLD MAN?! HUH?!

Red's dad: No! (to Red) Get off yo ass an get in this car! Why, I dunno... why you come down here messing with these people. Hurry up!

Smokey: [rips curtain] Break yourself, foo'!

Craig: Look what you did to my curtain! You better watch whose window you be sneaking in before you get blasted on.

Smokey: With what? You ain't got nothing, man!

Craig: [pulls out a gun and sticks it in Smokey's face] With this.

Smokey: Man, where'd you get that from?

Craig: Your mama.

Smokey: Fuck you.

Craig: Fuck you.

Smokey: Come on outside, man, and stop playing.

Craig: (laughs) gotta get dressed.

Smokey: Hurry up.

Craig: Don't tell me to hurry up.

Red: Man, why y'all didn't help me?!

Smokey: Man, I'm high.

Red: Man, that's fucked up! If that were y'all, I woulda helped y'all.

Craig: What bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?

Smokey: Yeah?

Red: [thinks about it for a second] Oh, that was different.

Ezel: Smokey, what the hell you doin back here?!

Smokey: Hey, nothin man. Hey, I'm fixin somethin'. Hey, just stay over there.

Ezel: But I thought you wanted me to wash yo car?

Smokey: Hey, man, wash it later. Stay over there.

Ezel: Smokey, you know I ain't the smartest man in the world, but from over here, it look like you takin a shit!

Smokey: Ezel! Get the hell out of my backyard!

Ezel: Oh, it like-- Smokey, you've been eatin corn, huh?

Smokey: Oh, get the hell out of my backyard, man!

Ezel: All right, man. But, look, between me and you, man, when you're done, I'll clean all that shit for ya for two dollars, eh!

Smokey: Hey, Ezel!

Ezel: What?

Smokey: You better not tell nobody, man.

Ezel: Man, I'm not, man.

Smokey: Keep on the down low.

Ezel: All right, I'm not like them. I'll keep it down, bro. (humming as he walks away) HEY! SMOKEY BACK HERE TAKIN A SHIT!

Smokey: EZEL!

Ezel: Well, I ain't gonna tell nobody else. (resumes humming)

Smokey: Sup, man?

Craig: Wassup.

Smokey: Why ain't you at work?

Craig: I got fired yesterday.

Smokey: Fo real?! I thought you had the day off yesterday.

Craig: I did. Went in there pick up my check. Came home. Supervisor called me about 4 o'clock. Talking about they got me on video tape stealing boxes.

Smokey: The fuck you doin stealin boxes for? What, you trying to build a clubhouse? Man, I know you didn't go out like that.

Craig: Hell, no, ain't got me on tape. But they said they did. Fired me on the spot. Talkin about pressin charges.

Smokey: Goddamn! You've got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.

Smokey: Yeah, I got your money. And I don't appreciate you sendin your punk-ass, busta-ass, Jheri curl-wearin ass friends to shoot at me and my homie. They'd like to got dealt with.

Big Worm: First of all, don't be callin here like you some straight up "G", cause I'll cut your balls off and hand em to you, partner. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it's the principle of the whole thing. There's principalities in this.

Smokey: Yeah, well...I got your money anyways. And you sell that shit yourself next time, cause I'm goin to rehab. I'm through with this shit. (hangs up, then lights up a joint and looks at the camera) I was just bullshittin'! And you know this, man!

Smokey: Man, that fool just playin man. I ain't trippin'.

Craig Jones: That's your problem. Ain't nobody playin but you. You walk up and down the street all day playin'. He ain't playin'! You think he playin bout his money?! Then you went and dragged me into this! He know where my mama stay, know where your mama stay. You say he had a gun when you seen him, right?

Smokey: Yeah.

Craig Jones: Well, name one person in the hood that play like that.

Craig Jones: (frustrated) Damn.

Smokey: What?

Craig Jones: I ain't got no sugar.

Smokey: You ain't got no sugar? Da-amn! Y'all ain't never got two things that match! Y'all got Kool-Aid, no sugar; peanut butter, no jelly; ham, no burger. Damn!

Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Craig Jones: Man, it's "the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice".

Smokey: Yeah, well, yeah, she blacker than a motherfucker, too.

Pastor Clever: [upon seeing Smokey rolling a joint] Scuse me brother. What we call drugs at 74th street Baptist church, we call a sinny-sin-sin.

Smokey: Well round here, between Normandine and the Western, we call this here a little twenty-twen-twen!

Craig: Well..

Smokey: Niggaaaa!

Pastor Clever: Why don't you give me a bit for my cataracts?

Smokey: You didn't put in on this, man.

Pastor Clever: It's better to give than receive, my brother.

Craig Jones: [points across the street to Mrs. Parker] Look, look, she's bendin over!

Pastor Clever: Lord have mercy! The Lord is my shepherd, He know what I want! Excuse me, brothers. (running across the street) Mrs. Parker! Mrs. Parker!

Smokey: [he holds up a pack of marajuana] Told you. The weed be lettin you know, where evil lurks.

Carter: Man, how long is this flight?

Lee: Fifteen hours.

Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?

Lee: [''Shrugs, then puts on headphones, and sings''; ''Carter turns in horror''; ''Sings''] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw.

Carter: Aw, hell no! Stewardess, get me another seat! Stewardess!

Carter: Damn Chen, some greasy shit? You aint got no better food like some chicken wings, some baby back-ribs, some fries or something?

Chen: Chinese food! No soul food here!

Carter: I ain't say nothing about no soul food. I said ain't you got some better food? I don't want that greasy shit. How you gonna sell a big box of grease?

Chen: Fung geneo bunkwain.

Carter: I'm a chilly what?

Chen: I'm no punk bitch!

Carter: I aint no punk bitch either!

Chen: I'm no punk bitch!

Lee: [''Singing "[[w: War (The Temptations song)#Edwin Starr version|War] ]"] What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Good God you all.

Carter: It's not "you all" its "y'all".

Lee: Yahl?

Carter: Y'all!

Lee: Yaal!

Carter: Man you sound like a karate movie. Y'all!

Lee: I am not responsible for your assumption.

Carter: You full of shit, you understand me, you full of shit.

Lee: Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.

Carter: [''Pause''] What the hell did you just say? "I let people talk, blah blah blah" so I'm the one full of shit?

Lee: We both full of shit.

Carter: You full of shit.

Chief Insp. Lee: [hears Surfing USA] Beach Boys.

Det. James Carter: Oh, hell, no. You didn't just touch my goddamn radio.

Lee: [[w:The Beach Boys|The Beach Boys] ] are great American music.

Carter: The Beach Boys'll get you a great ass-whoopin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy. You can do that in China but you'll get your ass killed out here.

Cab Driver: [''Points a gun at Lee and Carter''; Lee and Carter put their hands up] Don't move! Drop your guns.

Carter: [[w:FBI|FBI?; ''Shows his badge''] Hey man look, ]

Lee: [''Carter is stunned at discovering Lee [[w:English language|speaks English] Oh, um...I'm policeman! I'm just showing him how to take a gun from a suspect.

Sang: The drop will be made tonight, 11:00pm. The amount will be $50,000,000.

Carter: $50,000,000?! Who do you think you kidnapped, Chelsea Clinton?!

Sang: [[w:United States dollar|In U.S. currency] ]. Nothing bigger than a 50.

Carter: All right. All right. Cool. Cool. Cool. $50,000,000. No prob. No prob.

Sang: I want 20,000,000 in 50s...

Carter: [writes it down] 20,000,000 in 50s.

Sang: 20,000,000 in 20s...

Carter: 20,000,000 in 20s.

Sang: And 10,000,000 in 10s.

Carter: And 10,000,000 in 10s. You want any 5s with that?

Carter: Do you understand the words that are COMING OUTTA MY MOUTH?!?!

Franklin Hatchett: (Talking on the phone) Hello? Yeah, it Mike Michke. Remember me? Yeah, you done fucked with me for the last time goddammit. There's ah bomb in tha building. That's right, THERE'S AH GODDAMN BOMB IN THA BUILDING!

James Russell: (Wrestling the phone from Franklin) Fuck you, fuck you!

Franklin Hatchett: THERE'S AH GODDAMN BOMB IN THE BUILDING AND IT'S FIXIN TO BLOW! YOU BETTER GET YO ASS OUT, RIGHT NOW!!!!

Franklin Hatchett: You know guns don't kill people. Stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.

James Russel: I'm enlightened.

Franklin Hatchett: Yeah, let me enlighten your ass! Bring your monkey ass up-here. Got me running all over goddamn town.

Franklin Hatchett: [[w:You're the First, the Last, My Everything|You're the First, the Last, My Everything] (Reciting lyrics from ]) You're his first, his last, his everything. I know there's only one like you and they could have made two. But your his sun, his moon his star. His kind of wonderful, that's what you are.

Veronica Cartwright: [[w:Barry White|Barry White] Is he quoting ]?

Franklin Hatchett: So you're his first, his last, his everything.