Memorable Quotes from Christopher Lloyd
19 quotesA Reflection on Retirement and Adventure
David Mansell
You know... I tried the retirement thing. I enjoyed it. Sleep in late, breakfast, walk around the quad. Lunch, nap, swim. But God damn it Huutchie... if I didn't miss this shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern Over Piranha Babies and Their Parents
Mr. Goodman
The piranhas that killed those divers, the ones you're hunting for, they're not fully developed. They're the babies.
[to Julie]
Novak
The babies? Huh. So where are the parents?
[an adult piranha jumps out of the water and kills Novak]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Weapons and Numbers in Conflict
Hutch Mansell
You brought a lot of shotguns.
David Mansell
You brought a lot of Russians.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Piranha Infestation Surprises Characters
Novak
Excuse me... but is that a fucking piranha?!
Julie Forester
Carl, it's not the only one.
Novak
Here, here. Yeah, look at this. There are thousands of them. Thousands. And they're pissed!
[shows the torn diving suit]
Mrs. Goodman
You know, I've heard of this happening. It's like those baby alligators in New Jersey, somebody leaves them and they breed...
Novak
What?
Mr. Goodman
Nobody released this fish into the lake.
Julie Forester
What're you talking about?
Mr. Goodman
This particular piranha vanished off the face of the Earth over 2 million years ago!
[hurries to his office]
Novak
Um, where's he going?
Mr. Goodman
Allow me...to introduce you... Pygocentrus nattereri, the original piranha. They used to swim the Colorado River, right up until the Pleistocene epoch! I still don't understand how you found one...alive!
[shows the fossil; Novak and Julie see the live piranha almost exactly matches the fossil]
Novak
We discovered a subterranean lake through a rift caused by the earthquake.
Mrs. Goodman
But, how could it have survived for so long, cut off from the surface?
Mr. Goodman
CANNIBALISM. They must have fought each other to survive. Look...oh, the scars on the scales. Notice the eyes.
[looks at the piranha]
Julie Forester
Jesus, it's like he's staring back at you.
Mr. Goodman
No, no, no. Look, staring... sensing...
[slowly lowers two tips of his fingers into the tank. The piranha rushes to bite them, Goodman pulls them away in the nick of time]
Novak
God, don't do that!
Mr. Goodman
Piranha hunt in packs. Not for protection, but the overwhelming force. They're organized, methodical. The first bite draws blood, the blood draws the pack.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation Among Former Athletes
Billy Maharg
See, Bill, what did I tell ya? It's the little champ!
Abe Attell
They don't take nickel bets here, fellas.
Bill Burns
Abe Attell, right?
Abe Attell
Yeah. And you...you were a ballplayer.
Bill Burns
Bill Burns.
Abe Attell
Sleepy" Bill Burns! Strictly bench material.
Bill Burns
I won a few games.
Abe Attell
Well, you lost a few more. And you, my friend, didn't get that nose bobbing for apples.
[To Maharg]
Billy Maharg
I'm a fighter, sort of.
Abe Attell
Sort of. Let's see...Philly?
Billy Maharg
Yeah.
Abe Attell
Billy Maharg!
Billy Maharg
Yeah! You've seen me fight?
Abe Attell
Yeah, I've seen ya - you're a bum!
Billy Maharg
Hey!
Abe Attell
Yeah. So, what do you two birds want?
Billy Maharg
Word is that you work for Arnold Rothstein.
Bill Burns
We've got a proposition to make. Could mean big bucks.
Abe Attell
Well, I'm Mr. Rothstein's ears, so let's hear it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Parenting and Childhood Choices
Harry Mansell
You know, Pops, remember that you left us alone in that lodge for two nights straight by ourselves. And all we had to eat was hot dogs and s'mores. That's partly why I'm a vegan.
David Mansell
Well, you guys were safe. Mostly.
Harry Mansell
Did you ever worry about us, though? I mean... like about who we'd become. You mean like you worry about Brady?
Hutch Mansell
Yeah. I want him to be...
David Mansell
A better man than you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Career Changes and Consistent Themes
Wadsworth
Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum
Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth
So I see your work has not changed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Player Contracts and Business
Billy Maharg
(Eddie) Collins?
Bill Burns
Nah. Collins boy is the only one on the club getting paid what he's worth. Had it in his contract when he got traded.
Billy Maharg
What about Chick Gandil?
Bill Burns
He might do business. Chickie's a sport.
[Gandil hits a foul ball]
Billy Maharg
Buck Weaver?
Bill Burns
Bucky's one of the boys, but the thing about Bucky is he don't like to lose. Can't stand to lose. Put him on the "maybe" list.
[Weaver grounds out, and then kicks the ground in disgust]
Billy Maharg
What about (Ray) Schalk?
Bill Burns
Not a prayer.
Bill Burns
Eddie's getting old for the game. I know the feeling. You walk out there to the mound, with your arm hanging.
Billy Maharg
You couldn't pitch when you were young, Burnsie.
[Burns gives him a look]
Bill Burns
Eddie's the key. If we don't get Eddie, we forget about it.
Billy Maharg
Guy could knock his brains out doing that!
Bill Burns
What brains? Shoeless Joe's ignorant; Hap Felsch is just dumb.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Disability Expressed in Dialogue
Jinx
You're not exactly walking out of here empty handed. You got your pension and I'll give you this month's gas money.
[talking about the lay-off]
Larry
There's only one more thing I want.
Jinx
What?
Larry
DISABILITY!
Jinx
Hey keep that sense of humor it'll do you good.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judge Doom's Future Beyond Toontown
Judge Doom
You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtains on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I am retiring to take a new role in the private sector.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misadventures in Riding Practice
Alice
You don't seem to have much riding practice.
White Knight
What makes you say that?
Alice
You keep falling off your horse!
White Knight
I've had plenty of practice at THAT, plenty of practice!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judge Doom's Desperate Moment
Judge Doom
I'M MELTING! MELTING! WAUGH-WAUGH-WAAAAH! Oh no!
[last words]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judge Doom's Sinister Reminder to Eddie
Judge Doom
Remember me, Eddie?! When I KILLED your brother, I TALKED. JUST. LIKE. THHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIS!!!
[after showing Eddie his true form: A toon; as his voice grows higher-pitched every second]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos and Survival in Piranha 3D
Andrew Cunningham
Kelly, trust us. It's never cheating if it's with another chick.
Mr. Goodman
Piranha hunt in packs - not for protection, but for overwhelming force. They're organized, methodical. The first bite draws blood. The blood draws the pack.
Deputy Fallon
Chew on this, motherfuckers!
[kills piranhas with a motorboat propeller]
Derrick Jones
Jake, they took my penis! They took my penis!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Young Man's Search for a Book
Mr. Dewey
Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book.
Richard Tyler
Uh, Mister...
Mr. Dewey
Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons.
[starts speaking magically]
Richard Tyler
Look, all I want is...
Mr. Dewey
Adventure! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.
[grabbing him and speaking excitedly]
Richard Tyler
No, no. That's not it.
Mr. Dewey
Horror. Ahh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. Your library card, please.
[speaking scarily while creeping toward him; back to normal voice]
Richard Tyler
Uh, I don't have one.
Mr. Dewey
You do now.
[makes a library card appear magically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusations Fly Over Mysterious Shooting
Professor Plum
It must've been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!
Mr. Green
I didn't do it!
Col. Mustard
Well, there's nobody else left!
Mr. Green
But I didn't do it! The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun shot the girl!
Wadsworth
I shot her.
Col. Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Mrs. White, Ms. Scarlet, Prof. Plum
You?!
Mr. Green
So it was you. I was going to expose you.
Wadsworth
I know. So I choose to expose myself.
Col. Mustard
Please! There are ladies present.
Wadsworth
You thought Mr. Boddy was dead, but why? None of you even met him until tonight.
Mr. Green
You're Mr. Boddy!
Prof. Plum
Wait a minute! So who did I kill?
Wadsworth
My butler.
Prof. Plum
Oh, shucks.
Wadsworth
He was expendable, like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me.
Mrs. White
This all has nothing to do with my disappearing nuclear physicist husband or Colonel Mustard's work on the new top secret fusion bomb?
Wadsworth
No. Communism is just a red herring.
Mr. Green
But the police will be here any minute. You'll never get away with this, any of you.
Wadsworth
Why should the police come? Nobody's called them.
Mrs. Peacock
You mean-- Oh, my God! Of course!
Wadsworth
So why shouldn't we get away with it? We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this ever happened.
Mr. Green
And you'll just- just go on blackmailing us all.
Wadsworth
Of course. Why not?
Mr. Green
Well, I'll tell you why not.
Wadsworth
Oh, good shot, Green! And very good.
[slumps to the floor, reaches a hand inside his coat, and looks at the blood on his fingers; He dies]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excessive Yet Glorious Reflection
David Mansell
Just a bit excessive... but glorious!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judge Doom's Plan for Toontown Destruction
Judge Doom
Can you guess what this is? That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the Earth!
['''Jessica Rabbit:''' Oh, my God! It's '''DIP!!!''']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in a Confined Space
Col. Mustard
Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth
Um... no.
Col. Mustard
Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth
Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes.
Col. Mustard
No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
Wadsworth
No.
Col. Mustard
No there is, or no there isn't?
Wadsworth
Yes.
Mrs. White
PLEASE! Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here!
[Smashes glass on fireplace]
Miss Scarlet
Yeah!
Professor Plum
How can we throw him outside in this weather?
Miss Scarlet
If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!
Professor Plum
If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious!
Col. Mustard
If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!
Mrs. Peacock
Oh, who cares? That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour. The police will be here by then... and there are two dead bodies in the study!
[hysterical]
All
Shhhhhhhhhhh!
Col. Mustard
Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!
Wadsworth
I told you, there isn't.
Col. Mustard
There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?
Wadsworth
Either! Or both.
Col. Mustard
Just give me a clear answer!
Wadsworth
Certainly! What was the question?
[clears throat]
Col. Mustard
Is there anybody else in this house?
[shouting]
All
No!
[shouting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.