Memorable Quotes from Christopher Mintz-Plasse
4 quotesFriends Share Excitement Over a Secret Plan
Fogell
Yo, guys! What's up?
Evan
Fogell, where have you been, man?
Seth
You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Fogell
No, no, man. I got it. It is flawless. Check it!
Evan
Hawaii. Alright, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait, you changed your name to...McLovin?
[examining the fake ID]
Fogell
Yeah.
Evan
McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell
No, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth
And you landed on McLovin?
Fogell
Yeah. It was between that and Muhammad.
Seth
Why the fuck would it between that and Muhammad? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell
Muhammad" is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once!
Evan
Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named "Muhammad"?
Fogell
Have you actually ever met anyone named "McLovin"?
Seth
No! That's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell
Fuck you!
Seth
Give me that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name. It just says "McLovin"!
Evan
What?! One name? One name? Who are you, Seal?
Seth
Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell
Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face! Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. How many 21-year-olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, alright?
Evan
Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's...it's a fine ID. It'll...it's going to work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either going to think, "Here's another kid with a fake ID," or "Here's McLovin, a 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor." Okay? So, what's it gonna be?
Fogell
I am McLovin!
[grinning]
Seth
No, you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made-up, dumb motherfucking fairy tale name, you fuck!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Thrill of Carrying a Gun
Fogell
What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels
It is...awesome! I mean, I've only had mine for like a few months, but I'll tell you, it's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Awkward Conversations About Relationships
Officer Michaels
Yeah, McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
Fogell
It's not the "going" I'm worried about...but the "coming".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Real Life Auditions and Musical Expectations
Tommy
For the audition, you will sing 16 bars of ]'s Since You've Been Gone'. If a group likes you, they will contact you directly. My tone-deaf sidekick, Justin here, will be collecting your information.
[to prospective singers; [w:Kelly Clarkson|Kelly Clarkson]
Justin
If I could sing a lick, I would. But I can't. And I hate myself everyday because of it.
Tommy
I know. But if you think this is just some high school club where you can sing and dance your way through any social issue... Or confused sexuality, you have come to the wrong place. There is none of that here. That's high school. This shit is real life. Now, don't just bring it, sing it, and let's do this.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.