Memorable Quotes from Christopher Rodriguez Marquette
12 quotesConfrontation About Film School Choices
Film School Student
Why'd you decide to skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli
SHUT THE FUCK UP! Next question.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Balance in Friendship
Eli
Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Klitz
A tripod?
Eli
Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs, WE-ALL-FALL!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Connection and Release
Eli
I just gotta fuck something.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Expectations and Personal Identity
Eddie
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Seminary school, really? Wait, is this your way of telling me you're gay?
Eddie
I'm just joking. Okay? Joke.
Michael Kovak
You don't get it. In my family, you're either a mortician or a priest. That's it.
Eddie
Well, then change your name!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Schoolgirls or Porn Stars?
Mrs. Kidman
Eli, do those girls go to your school?
[referring to Eli & Klitz's porn star dates]
Eli
Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Romantic Adventures
Eli
God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncomfortable Moments in Shared Experiences
Klitz
- Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you.
Eli
Shh... Dude, learn to like it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Repetitive Expressions Among Friends
Eli
Dude!
Matthew
I know.
Klitz
Dude!
Matthew
I know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Siblings and Acceptance in Just Friends
Mike Brander
Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Feelings in Unconventional Relationships
Eli
Dude, don't mess this up.
Matthew
Mess what up?
Eli
Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew
Eli, I like this girl.
Eli
And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.
Matthew
Eli, you're never going to see her again.
Eli
Oh, you know what? Fine!
Matthew
Fine!
Eli
Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! Fuck her for me! For me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperate Plea for Action and Connection
Eli
Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! FUCK HER FOR ME! FOR ME!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Harsh Reminder of Insecurities
Mike Brander
You’ll always be fat to me, Chris!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.