Memorable Quotes from Clark Duke
14 quotesDebating 80s Culture and Freedom
Lou
It's the fucking 80's, guys. Let's do what we want to do. Free Love!
Jacob
That was the 60's, dipshit.
Adam
We had like Reagan and AIDS. Get the fuck outta here, okay? Do the right thing, Violator!
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The Difference Between Heroes and Superheroes
Dave
How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero?
Marty
Boy, I don't know. Probably cause it's fucking impossible, dipshit.
Dave
What, putting on a mask and helping people? How's that impossible?
Todd
That's not superhero, though. How is that super? Super's like being stronger than everybody and flying and shit. That's just hero.
Marty
No, it's not even hero. It's just fucking psycho.
Todd
Hmm.
Dave
Hello? ]? He didn't have any powers.
[[w:Bruce Wayne|Bruce Wayne]
Todd
Yes, but he had all the expensive shit that doesn't exist. I thought you mean like, "How come nobody does it in real life?
Dave
Yeah, Todd. That's what I meant.
Marty
Dude, if anybody did it in real life, they'd get their ass kicked. They'd be dead in like a day.
Todd
A day.
Dave
Yeah, okay, I'm not saying they should do it. I just can't figure out why nobody does. Seriously, out of all the millions of people who love superheroes, you'd think one would give it a try. Jesus, doesn't that bug you guys? Like thousands of people want to be ]; nobody wants to be ].
[Todd and Marty just give Dave looks of disagreement; [w:Paris Hilton|Paris Hilton; [w:Spider-Man|Spider-Man]
Marty
Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits, at all.
[to Todd]
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Childhood Memories and Consequences
Jacob
Do you remember when I was 12 and he tried to bite me.
[Referring to Lou]
Adam
Yeah, but you had that coming.
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Unconventional Advice for Taking Medication
Jacob
I have some adavain, but it's different.
[to Lou]
Lou
Well, let's stick it up our asses!
Jacob
It's not a suppository!
Lou
It doesn't matter. You crush it up, put it in a paper towel, run it under some warm water, and you stick it right up your ass. That works!
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The Ripple Effect of Small Changes
Adam
One little change has a ripple effect, and it affects everything else. Like a butterfly floats its wings and Tokyo explodes or there's a tsunami in like, you know, somewhere.
Jacob
Yes, exactly. You step on the bug and the fucking internet is never invented.
Lou
Oh, then you'll have to talk to girls with your mouth.
Jacob
Yeah, no. I was more concerned about bigger consequences, like not being born.
Lou
Yeah, no. I don't care about that.
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A Moment of Insulting Reflection
Lance
Oh, did you have a moment? A little moment? You're an idiot.
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Texting Tensions Among Friends
Lou
Goddamn it, who the fuck are you texting with?
Jacob
Just a friend.
Lou
Male or fucking female?
Jacob
For your information, I have had lots of girlfriends. Hot ones.
Lou
No, you have had lots of boyfriends. Gay ones.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Time Travel Consequences
Jacob
Do I really gotta be the asshole who says we got in this thing and went back in time?
[from trailer]
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A Bold Statement About Ian's Actions
Lance
Who's gonna pound on it? Say it: Ian's gonna pound on it.
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Tension Between Friends Ruins Weekend Plans
Lou
Oh man, what the fuck's he doing here?
[to Adam and Nick]
Jacob
Nice to see you too, Lou.
Lou
Nice to see you too, Lou. Fuck you, Jacob! You suck and you know it! You just ruined my fucking weekend.
[mimicking]
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Miscommunication in a Modern Setting
Jacob
I'm kinda right in the middle of a thing right now, but can I text you later?
Girl at Club
Can you what?
Jacob
Are you online at all?
Girl at Club
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jacob
How do I get a hold of you?
Girl at Club
You come find me.
Jacob
That sounds... exhausting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Surprising Romance with an Amish Woman
Lance
I can't believe I'm banging an Amish chick. I mean seriously, what are the odds?
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Time Travel and Familial Conflict
Jacob
I knew I hated you for a reason! I'm gonna tell everyone in prison I went back in time to kill my own father!
[to Lou]
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Encountering an Unwelcome Familiar Face
Jacob
Hey look, it's the douchebag from ].
[about Blaine; [The Karate Kid Part III|Karate Kid 3]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.