Courtney B. VanceQuotes

Jeremy: Mary just fucking cited me! Okay? I thought this was a party. If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. That's a timeless gag! Never not funny!

Josh: [tries to shoo him away] Okay, off you go.

Jeremy: She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, like, just seeping into everybody's good time. Every word she says makes my fucking hemorrhoids throb! I want that on the record!

Josh: It is.

Walter Davis: He's in customer service?

Josh: Yeah. He's much better on the phone.

Candice Hooper: You know, if you want to get rid of that baby fat, you should try the gym. They have those workout machines that you use on your back. You're good at that?

Flight Attendant: Oh, a kid had a panic attack and wanted off the plane. Said he had some kind of vision.

John: Life's a bitch.

Dr Leonetti: [to Olivia] What made you decide to take the leap today?

Agent Block: Two deaths? Alright, that's a coincidence. Three? That's a pattern.

Nani: Stay behind me, Lilo. Get back. Get back.

Pleakley: Don't worry. They're just scanning for deadly parasites.

Grand Councilwoman: We're here to retrieve this dangerous experiment. Soldiers, take 626 into custody.

Lilo: [as Stitch gets handcuffed while Nani tries to hold her back, preventing her from interfering; protesting] No! Hey! Leave him alone! Let him stay!

Grand Councilwoman: I'm afraid I can't allow that. This creature poses a threat to your species. We are sorry for what transpired here. Rest assured, those responsible will be brought to justice.

Jumba: [gets lifted off the sea by the spaceship while being re-arrested, and back in his original alien form; last words; gets clonked on the head] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! How dare you treat a scientific genius like this! Hey, Grand Councilwoman, can you-- Ow! Oh! My precious brain.

Grand Councilwoman: As for 626--

Stitch: [interrupting] Stitch.

Grand Councilwoman: [confused] What?

Stitch: My name Stitch.

Grand Councilwoman: Stitch, then.... will be--

Stitch: Can Stitch say goodbye?

Grand Councilwoman: [surprised and hesitantly] Yes.

Stitch: [walks over to Lilo] Thank you.

Lilo: [hugs Stitch] Come here, Stitch. We're gonna to miss you.

Grand Councilwoman: [surprised] Who are these people?

Stitch: [smiles at Lilo and Nani who smiles back] This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little a-and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.

Pleakley: Grand Councilwoman? Can we leave Stitch with his new family?

Grand Councilwoman: Absolutely not. The Council would require supervision, and who would possibly want to stay on this dilapidated mosquito farm?

Pleakley: [excitedly] Oh, oh! Me! Me! ME!

Grand Councilwoman: Ha! Ridiculous. I cannot risk the global panic that would ensue if this were to become public.

Cobra Bubbles: [stepping up] What if it didn't?

Pleakley: Oh! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! He's CIA. He's very good at keeping secrets.

Grand Councilwoman: Our reconnaissance said you were going to tell your superiors about this. How could I ever trust you to keep it a secret?

Cobra Bubbles: [stepping up to her and shakes her hand to seal the deal] Your Highness... you have my word.

Grand Councilwoman: [after studying his face for a moment and nods; Everyone, even Stitch, felt sad at the fact that he might not be allowed to stay after all; until...; smiles; Everyone were overwhelmed with joy and Stitch's handcuffs falls off and he happily runs into Lilo's arms] Hmmm. You all have shown me that there is good inside this creature. However, I cannot reverse the council's decision. Experiment 626 has been sentence to life in exile. A sentence that would be henceforth served.... here on Earth.

Grand Councilwoman: We just intercepted a call from human authorities. Do you realize what you have done?

Pleakley: [innocently] Nope.

Grand Councilwoman: [Pleakley obliges as he takes off the shower cap] Play the recording. And take off that ridiculous hat.

Cobra Bubbles: [on recording] Code 51. We found something. Confirm.

Grand Councilwoman: And not only that you alerted the humans about our existence, but you still haven't captured 626!

Jumba: Grand Councilwoman, will all due respect, I'm not sure you know what's going on with 626. We have found, um… a glitch… Which is making it a little harder to get him off this planet. But don't worry, I'm sure I can figure out--

Grand Councilwoman: Enough! You're a glitch, you buffoon. I have had enough, Dr. Jookiba. You have exhausted my patience! Consider our deal terminated!

Jumba: [shocked] WHAT?!

Grand Councilwoman: [beats] No tantrums, Agent Pleakley is hereby deputize to detain you under Federation orders and escort you back to Turo immediately. Uh, hello?

Pleakley: Now? Right now?

Grand Councilwoman: No, later.

Jumba: You cannot do this to my work!!!!

Grand Councilwoman: [hangs up] That is not a debate. A Federation detail is on its way to clean up your mess.

Pleakley: [after getting out of the bathtub, while putting on his bathrobe] Did she hang up? Jumba?