Dabney Coleman Quotes

WarGames

Escalating Tensions Over Control of Nuclear Launch

McKittrick General, the machine has locked us out. It's sending random numbers to the silos.

Pat Healy Codes. To launch the missiles.

General Beringer Just unplug the goddamn thing! Jesus Christ!

McKittrick That won't work, General. It would interpret a shutdown as the destruction of NORAD. The computers in the silos would carry out their last instructions. They'd launch.

General Beringer Can't we disarm the missiles?

Pat Healy Over a thousand of them? There's no time. At this rate it will hit the launch codes in... 5.3 minutes.

General Beringer Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.

McKittrick I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit.

General Beringer Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.

Officer Sir, it's the President.

McKittrick What are you going to tell him?

General Beringer That I'm ordering our bombers back to fail-safe; we might have to go through this thing after all. Yes, sir.

[talks into the phone]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Tootsie

Therapy and Misunderstandings Among Friends

George Fields I begged you to get therapy.

[to Dorothy/Michael]

John Van Horne Does Jeff know?

[after Dorothy reveals she is a man]

Ron Carlisle I knew there was a reason she didn't like me!

[after Dorothy reveals she is a man]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Muppets Take Manhattan

Tension Rises Over Chicken's Safety

Martin Price Get back or the chicken gets it!

Police Officer That's a threat?

Gonzo Please don't hurt her, take me!

Martin Price Whatever you say, pal!

[grabs Gonzo's nose and pulls him up hostage as well]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Where the Heart Is

Accusation of Loyalty and Blame

Stewart McBain Harry, your loyalty was an accusation. Blame someone else.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Clifford

Discussion on Model Changes and Timing

Mr. Ellis Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for... What are you looking at?

Uncle Martin Nothing.

Mr. Ellis Good. Did you make the changes on the model?

Uncle Martin Yes, I made the changes on the model.

Gerald Ellis Yeah, but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like shit.

[walks off]

Uncle Martin I look like shit? Yeah, well, you look like... Willie Nelson.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

WarGames

Escalating Tensions in War Games

Stephen Falken How far's he gone?

[looking at screens]

McKittrick Well, the President’s about ready to order a counter-strike. That's what we're recommending he do.

Stephen Falken It's a bluff, John, call it off.

McKittrick No, it's not a bluff. It's real.

Stephen Falken Hello, General Beringer! Stephen Falken!

[raising his voice from stairs]

General Beringer Mr. Falken you picked a hell of a day for a visit!

[standing]

Stephen Falken Uh, uh, General, what you see on these screens up here is a fantasy; a computer-enhanced hallucination. Those blips are not real missiles. They're phantoms.

McKittrick Jack, there's nothing to indicate a simulation at all. Everything is working perfectly!

Stephen Falken But does it make any sense?

General Beringer Does what make any sense?

Stephen Falken That!

[points to the screens]

General Beringer Look, I don't have time for a conversation right now.

Stephen Falken General, are you prepared to destroy the enemy?

General Beringer You betcha!

Stephen Falken Do you think they know that?

General Beringer I believe we've made that clear enough.

Stephen Falken Then don't! Tell the President to ride out the attack.

Colonel Conley Sir, they need a decision.

Stephen Falken General, do you really believe that the enemy would attack without provocation, using so many missiles, bombers, and subs so that we would have no choice but to totally annihilate them?

Female Airman First Class One minute and thirty seconds to impact.

[on loudspeaker]

Stephen Falken General, you are listening to a machine! Do the world a favor and don't act like one.

Where the Heart Is

Loss of Home and Heart

Stewart McBain My Heart? Home is where the heart is, and I've lost my home.

WarGames

Understanding DEFCON Levels in Military Context

McKittrick See that sign up here - up here. "DEFCON." That indicates our current "def"ense "con"dition. It should read "DEFCON 5," which means peace. It's still on 4 because of that little stunt you pulled. Actually, if we hadn't caught it in time, it might have gone to Defcon 1. You know what that means, David?

David No. What does that mean?

McKittrick World War III.

Stuart Little

Unexpected Outcome After Detergent Incident

Eleanor Is he going to be alright?

Dr. Beechwood Well, a lad that size swallowing all that detergent. Amazingly, I think he's going to be fine.

Eleanor Oh.

Dr. Beechwood Also, he's very clean. Yeah.

Memorable Quotes from Dabney Coleman

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