Simon Birch - Discussion of Church Activities and Beliefs
Rev. Russell:
I'd like to take a few minutes to discuss some of the upcoming activities on the church calendar.
Simon Birch:
Here we go.
Ben Goodrich: [Quietly]
What's wrong, Simon?
Simon Birch:
Who knows what God thinks about current events?
Rev. Russell:
Does someone have a question?
Ben Goodrich:
Uh, no, sir - um, your honor, no,...Father, thank you. No, sir.
Rev. Russell:
It's always nice to see new faces in the congregation. I'd like to invite them downstairs to join my wife and children, and myself for coffee and doughnuts downstairs after the service.
Simon Birch:
What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?
Grandmother Wenteworth: [Quietly]
Simon, you better be quiet!
Rev. Russell:
Simon, is there something you'd like to share with us?
Simon Birch:
I said, "What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?
Rev. Russell:
They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and, uh, and discuss the upcoming activities.
Simon Birch:
Who ever said the church needs a continental breakfast?
Rev. Russell:
-Simon!
Simon Birch:
I doubt that God is interested in our church activities.
Rev. Russell:
-Simon!
Simon Birch:
-If God has made the church bake sale a priority, then I'd say we're all in a lot of trouble.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Simon Birch - Unusual Observations About a Child's Voice
Grandmother Wenteworth:
That child is positively unnatural.
Hilde:
Most peculiar.
Grandmother Wenteworth:
And his voice, like--
Hilde:
A mouse.
Grandmother Wenteworth:
More than one. Like mice.
Hilde:
Strangled mice.
Grandmother Wenteworth: [laughing]
Strangled mice. Very good, Hilde.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mumford - Perceptions of Doctoral Credentials in Conversation
Mrs. Crisp:
What kind of doctor are you?
Dr. Mumford:
Ph.D. Psychologist.
Mrs. Crisp:
Oh. Not a real doctor.
Dr. Mumford:
That's right, the fake kind.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.