Sgt. Bilko - A Bet on the Parking Lot Challenge
MSG Bilko:
$20 says I can hit the parking lot.
PFC Wally Holbrook:
I don't gamble.
Bilko:
What is it you do?
Holbrook:
Permission to speak -
Bilko:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
Holbrook:
I get up every morning and I get dressed to protect the American way of life.
Bilko:
Would you tell me that later tonight so I don't have to take a sleeping pill?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sgt. Bilko - A Note of Discontent Among Friends
MSG Ernest Bilko:
What's the matter with you? You were full of energy at 6AM.
PFC Wally Holbrook:
I don't think the guys like me.
Bilko:
Well, what makes you say that?
Holbrook:
They wrote me a note. "Wally, we don't like you." And they all signed it.
Bilko: [Looks at the note]
Yep, that's Doberman's X.
Holbrook:
Speaking of Doberman, can I please have another roommate?
Bilko:
Why, what's wrong with Doberman?
Wally:
He wet his bed!
Bilko:
Oh, well, once in a while...
Holbrook:
No, he did it from across the room.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Actors Face Off Against Their Adversary
Tommy Webber:
Whoo!
Guy Fleegman:
We're getting hammered, Jason! Return fire?
Jason Nesmith:
No! Divert all energy to the armor!
Sarris:
How adorable. The actors are going to play war with me.
Gwen DeMarco:
Sarris ship accelerating toward us at Mark 2.
Jason Nesmith:
Accelerate to Mark 4!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Debate on How to Defeat an Enemy
Alexander Dane:
Fred's no good, Jason; you're just gonna have to kill it.
Jason Nesmith:
Kill it"? Well, I'm open to any suggestions!
Tommy Webber:
Go for the eyes, like in Episode 22!
Jason Nesmith:
It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber:
Well, then go for the throat or mouth, its vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith:
It's a rock: It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: [[weapon]
I know! You construct a ]. Look around you. Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Jason Nesmith:
A LATHE?! GET OFF THE LINE, GUY!! Alexander, you're my advisor. Advise me!
Alexander Dane:
Well, you're just gonna have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?
Jason Nesmith:
It's a rock monster! It doesn't have motivation!
Alexander Dane:
You see, this was your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Damage Report and Engine Status Inquiry
Computer:
Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage. Aft vector guards, 96% damage. Structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40...
Jason Nesmith:
What about the engines?
Computer:
Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage.
Gwen DeMarco:
Computer, what about the engines? Why don't we have power?
Computer:
The beryllium sphere has fractured under stress.
Gwen DeMarco:
It's fractured.
Jason Nesmith:
Can it be repaired?
Gwen DeMarco:
Computer, can it be repaired?
Computer:
Damage to beryllium sphere: Irreparable. New source of beryllium must be secured.
Gwen DeMarco:
We need another one.
Alexander Dane: [to Jason]
You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship!
Jason Nesmith: [clears throat]
Eh, uh-- Computer, is there, uh, a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Gwen DeMarco:
Computer, is there a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Computer:
Negative, no reserve Beryllium sphere exists on board.
Gwen DeMarco: [to crew]
No, we have no extra Beryllium sphere on board.
Tommy Webber:
You know, that is really getting annoying!
Gwen DeMarco:
Look! I have one job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?
Tommy Webber:
Sure, no problem.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Navigating Unexpected Challenges in Space
Alexander Dane:
Could you possibly try not to hit every...single...one?!
Tommy Webber:
Sorry, man, they're driftin towards us! I think they're magnetic!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Confusion Amidst Unfamiliar Surroundings
Mathesar:
The medical quarters are to the left.
Tommy Webber:
What the hell is going on?
Alexander Dane:
Jason, what have you gotten us into?
Gwen DeMarco:
I don't believe this, it's insane.
Fred Kwan:
Wow, the floors are so clean.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Self-Love and Fan Appreciation in Galaxy Quest
Gwen DeMarco: [watching the fans' reaction to Nesmith]
You've gotta admit, they really do love him.
Tommy Webber:
Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Galaxy Quest - Reflections on Fame and Performance
Alexander Dane:
How did I come to this?
Tommy Webber:
Not again.
Alexander Dane: [[Richard III (play)|Richard III]
I played ].
Fred Kwan:
Five curtain calls.
Alexander Dane:
There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time. I can't. I won't.
Gwen DeMarco:
Well, Alex, at least you had a part. Okay? You played a character people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs and how they fit into my suit! No one even bothered to ask what I do on the show.
Fred Kwan:
You had the - wait. Wait, I'll think of it.
Gwen DeMarco:
I repeated the computer, Fred.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
10 Things I Hate About You - Classroom Debate on Shakespeare's Relevance
Mr. Morgan: [''After reading [[w:Shakespeare's sonnets|a Shakespearean sonnet]
Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet.
Mr. Morgan:
Yes, Miss "I-Have-An-Opinion-About-Everything"?
Kat: [[w:iambic pentameter|iambic pentameter]
Do you want this in ]?
Mr. Morgan: [''Stares at Kat'']
You're not going to fight me on this?
Kat:
No, I think it's a really good assignment.
Mr. Morgan: [''Chuckles'']
You're just messing with me aren't you?
Kat:
No, I'm really looking forward to writing it.
Mr. Morgan:
Get out of my class.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.