Memorable Quotes from David Asman
2 quotesUnexpected Encounters in a Mysterious Setting
Gibbons
Well done Mr. Cage.
Xander
Who the hell are you?
Gibbons
The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons. You seem upset. Is there something wrong?
Xander
What is this place?
Gibbons
Looks like a diner.
Xander
That's clever. You know, you almost had me going for a second? I was a little groggy at first, but then I started noticing things. Like you got a stock broker over here reading the ] on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it? With her. My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I knew that this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited until St. Patrick's Day. ] Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible!
[[w:Financial Times|Financial Times; points to the waitress behind the counter; points to the bleeding 'stock broker' on the floor; fires a blank round from the stock broker's shotgun at a wall clock]
Gibbons
That's good. That's very good.
[Starts to laugh]
Xander
Okay, you're turn, pretty boy. What the hell is going on here?
Gibbons
It was a test, Mr. Cage, that you aced.
Agent Polk
He seems to have an attitude.
[Entering]
Xander
Excuse me?
Agent Polk
Should we throw him back?
[To Gibbons]
Gibbons
Hell no, I love his attitude! Let's take this to the next level. Get on the sat-com!
[Starts speaking to the agents in the diner]
Xander
What are you talking about, what next level?
Gibbons
I want everyone out in ten minutes!
Xander
I don't know who you think you're playing with, I don't play this game!
[Starts walking towards the exit]
Gibbons
Get Mike a doctor. We don't want him looking like me.
[looking at the trucker, who has burns from the coffee]
Xander
I got a party to go to!
Gibbons
Shut him up.
[To the waitress, nodding towards Xander]
Xander
And don't to forget to pay for my windo- AH!
[The waitress shoots him with a tranq dart; He falls down and pulls the dart from his chest]
Gibbons
Why is it always the assholes that pass the test?
[sees Xander pass out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Among Agents in Crisis Situation
Xander
Look who it is,Frankenstein. Uncuff me so I can beat the shit out of you.
Gibbons
Relax, X. You just graduated at the top of your class.
Xander
What the hell are you talking about?! You nearly got us killed out there!
Agent Polk
We knew the Colombian Army was moving in.
Xander
Excuse me?
Agent Polk
It was my idea to use you as a decoy. They liked the ide-
[Looking smug at Xander]
Xander
You're pretty fast for an old man.
Gibbons
Get up. Walk with me. You know, I'm the type of guy who believes under the right circumstances a man can change. For example, last night you exhibited courage, leadership, and the willingness to protect a man you hardly knew.
[Xander does so; They walk through the camp to a group of agents burning cocaine in a pile]
Xander
So give me a medal.
Gibbons
I'd rather give you a job!
[Chuckling]
Xander
Look at me! Do I look like a fan of law enforcement?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.