David AsmanQuotes

Xander: Look who it is,Frankenstein. Uncuff me so I can beat the shit out of you.

Gibbons: Relax, X. You just graduated at the top of your class.

Xander: What the hell are you talking about?! You nearly got us killed out there!

Agent Polk: We knew the Colombian Army was moving in.

Xander: Excuse me?

Agent Polk: [Looking smug at Xander] It was my idea to use you as a decoy. They liked the ide-

Xander: You're pretty fast for an old man.

Gibbons: [Xander does so; They walk through the camp to a group of agents burning cocaine in a pile] Get up. Walk with me. You know, I'm the type of guy who believes under the right circumstances a man can change. For example, last night you exhibited courage, leadership, and the willingness to protect a man you hardly knew.

Xander: So give me a medal.

Gibbons: [Chuckling] I'd rather give you a job!

Xander: Look at me! Do I look like a fan of law enforcement?

Gibbons: Well done Mr. Cage.

Xander: Who the hell are you?

Gibbons: The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons. You seem upset. Is there something wrong?

Xander: What is this place?

Gibbons: Looks like a diner.

Xander: [[w:Financial Times|Financial Times; points to the waitress behind the counter; points to the bleeding 'stock broker' on the floor; fires a blank round from the stock broker's shotgun at a wall clock] That's clever. You know, you almost had me going for a second? I was a little groggy at first, but then I started noticing things. Like you got a stock broker over here reading the ] on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it? With her. My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I knew that this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited until St. Patrick's Day. ] Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible!

Gibbons: [Starts to laugh] That's good. That's very good.

Xander: Okay, you're turn, pretty boy. What the hell is going on here?

Gibbons: It was a test, Mr. Cage, that you aced.

Agent Polk: [Entering] He seems to have an attitude.

Xander: Excuse me?

Agent Polk: [To Gibbons] Should we throw him back?

Gibbons: [Starts speaking to the agents in the diner] Hell no, I love his attitude! Let's take this to the next level. Get on the sat-com!

Xander: What are you talking about, what next level?

Gibbons: I want everyone out in ten minutes!

Xander: [Starts walking towards the exit] I don't know who you think you're playing with, I don't play this game!

Gibbons: [looking at the trucker, who has burns from the coffee] Get Mike a doctor. We don't want him looking like me.

Xander: I got a party to go to!

Gibbons: [To the waitress, nodding towards Xander] Shut him up.

Xander: [The waitress shoots him with a tranq dart; He falls down and pulls the dart from his chest] And don't to forget to pay for my windo- AH!

Gibbons: [sees Xander pass out] Why is it always the assholes that pass the test?