David Niven Quotes

Around the World in 80 Days

Cultural Identity and Personal Authenticity

Princess Aouda Mr. Fogg, why must you be so... so British?

Phileas Fogg Madame, I am what I am.

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Around the World in 80 Days

A Balloonist's Notable Status and Its Consequence

Monsieur Gasse Monsieur! You are now addressing the second most celebrated balloonist in Europe.

Phileas Fogg And who is the first?

Monsieur Gasse He is not available. He was, uh, buried last Tuesday.

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Around the World in 80 Days

Moral Dilemma in Foreign Affairs

Phileas Fogg You actually mean that unfortunate young woman is going to be burned alive?

Sir Francis Gromarty Oh, she's quite resigned to it.

Phileas Fogg What if we decided to save her?

Sir Francis Gromarty Good heaven, man, you can't interfere with native affairs.

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The Pink Panther

Ownership Dispute Over The Pink Panther Diamond

Simone Clouseau If I'm not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.

Princess Dala It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.

Sir Charles Lytton Why should you?

Princess Dala When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.

Sir Charles Lytton I'll tell you what, why don't I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.

Princess Dala All right.

George Lytton I feel like dancing. Your Highness?

[to Princess Dala]

Princess Dala I'd love to.

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The Pink Panther

A Playful Exchange of Threats and Affection

Princess Dala If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.

[after Sir Charles Lytton kisses her]

Sir Charles Lytton No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Around the World in 80 Days

Discrepancy in Railway Opening Announcements

Railway Official There's still fifty miles of track to be laid between here and Allabahad.

Phileas Fogg But the London newspapers announced the opening of this railway throughout.

Railway Official That must have been The Daily Telegraph. Never would have read that in The Times.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bachelor Mother

Responsibility for the Broken Duck

David Merlin I wish to return this duck.

Clerk Certainly, sir. What's wrong with it?

David Merlin It's broken.

Clerk I can see that, sir, but I have to know where to lay the blame.

David Merlin Lay the blame on the duck!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Around the World in 80 Days

Trust and Responsibility in a Journey

Phileas Fogg Give me that red bag. Open it up. We'll need plenty of money. Whatever you do, never let this out of your sight.

Passepartout Monsieur can trust me. I will cherish it like - like a woman.

Phileas Fogg Don't make love to it. Just watch it.

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Around the World in 80 Days

Critique of Whist Game Etiquette

Phileas Fogg And furthermore, you play an abominable game of whist. Good day, sir.

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The Pink Panther

Betting on the Phantom's Presence

Inspector Jacques Clouseau I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.

Simone Clouseau How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?

Tucker Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.

Sir Charles Lytton What are we all talking about?

Simone Clouseau The notorious Phantom.

Princess Dala I'm afraid I never heard of him.

Sir Charles Lytton From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.

George Lytton I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.

Princess Dala Sounds terribly theatrical.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Bachelor Mother

The Importance of Keeping Receipts

Clerk Do you have the sales slip?

David Merlin Do you have the sales slip?

[to Polly, who is around the corner]

Polly Parrish I threw it away.

David Merlin You should have kept it. I threw it away.

[to the clerk]

Clerk You should have kept it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Around the World in 80 Days

A Unique Journey to England

Phileas Fogg How did you come to England?

Passepartout In a clothes basket, sir. I escaped.

Phileas Fogg From what?

Passepartout Women, sir.

Phileas Fogg A ladies man, huh? Well, there are no women in this household.

Around the World in 80 Days

Exclusionary Traditions in a Changing Society

Phileas Fogg My dear... I must ask you to leave these precincts at once. No woman has ever set foot in the club.

Princess Aouda Why not?

Phileas Fogg Because... that could spell the end of the British Empire.

Ralph This is the end.

Around the World in 80 Days

The Seriousness of a Wager

Phileas Fogg An Englishman never jokes about a wager, sir.

Bachelor Mother

Casual Opinions on a New Acquaintance

David Merlin So how do you like her?

Louise King Pretty good for a fill-in. I'd just as soon go stag.

Polly You could, too, with those shoulders.

Around the World in 80 Days

A Bold Challenge for a Global Journey

Andrew Stuart You're pretty glib, Fogg, but I'd like to see you do it in 80 days.

Phileas Fogg You're convinced that I could not?

Andrew Stuart So much so that I'll wager £5,000 that you can't.

Phileas Fogg Let me understand you clearly, Stuart. Are you formally challenging me to undertake a journey around the world in 80 days?

Andrew Stuart I am, sir, and I'm prepared to back my conviction by posting my check right here and now.

Phileas Fogg Very well, I accept... My gentlemen, I have on deposit at Barings Bank the sum of £20,000. And I'm willing to wager any or all of it upon the same contention. Namely, that I can complete a tour of the world in 80 days. That is to say, 1,920 hours or 115,200 minutes. Would anyone besides Stuart care to participate?

Around the World in 80 Days

The Value of Patience in Pursuit

Saloon Hostess Never be in a hurry. You'll miss the best parts in life.

Phileas Fogg Madam, you don't understand. I'm looking for my man.

Saloon Hostess So am I.

Around the World in 80 Days

The Cost of Urgency in Unusual Circumstances

Sir Francis Gromarty One thousand pounds for an elephant? It's outrageous! You've been diddled.

Phileas Fogg Undoubtedly. But it's not often one needs an elephant in a hurry.

Memorable Quotes from David Niven