Dax Shepard Quotes - Best Lines & Interviews

Memorable Quotes from Dax Shepard

17 quotes

Without a Paddle

Coming Out and Acceptance Among Friends

Dan Mott I'm out.

Jerry Conlaine What does that mean?

Tom Marshall I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

A Disastrous Adventure Comes to an End

Dan Mott This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.

Tom Marshall I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Zathura: A Space Adventure

Game Instructions Amidst Space Adventure

Astronaut Okay, why haven't you guys started yet?

Danny We're waiting for you.

Astronaut Okay, well, I'm here, so, turn that clockwise, and--

Walter Yeah, I know how to play the game.

Astronaut Okay.

Walter Hang on a second. Something's wrong.

Astronaut What?

Walter I was ahead of you.

[to Danny]

Danny Somebody must have kicked the board?

Walter No, nobody kicked the board. You cheated.

[angrily]

Danny No, I didn't.

Walter You cheated! I knew you were gonna cheat!

Astronaut Ch-- "Cheater's" a strong word!

Walter YOU CHEATED!!

Danny I DIDN'T CHEAT!

Astronaut Guys, guys, please. Bring it down. Indoor voices. Now, did you move the piece?

Danny Maybe I moved the piece by an accident.

Astronaut Okay, it was an accident.

Walter How can you move the piece by accident if it's stuck to the game? That's impossible; You cheated!

[not believing Danny]

Astronaut Okay, no, no, no, let's not use that word. No, stop saying "cheated.

Walter You cheated! Cheater!!!

Danny I DIDN'T CHEAT!

Astronaut Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Okay? Now, where did you move from?

Danny I was right here.

[pointing to his rocket ship]

Walter No, you weren't; You were back there.

Danny Nuh-uh.

[insistently]

Astronaut Well-- Okay. Uh-- Okay, care-- careful.

[cringes as Walter moves Danny's ship; Walter moves Danny's ship back to the same spot where he spun the astronaut]

Walter God.

Astronaut Okay, it's fixed.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Secrets Kept in the Cave

Tom Marshall This never leaves the cave.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

A Surprising Exclamation in the Wilderness

Tom Marshall Great mother of ganja!

[discovering a barn full of [[w:marijuana|marijuana]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

A Cold Night and a Playful Demand

Jerry Conlaine Come back to bed, you guys. I'm freezing.

Tom Marshall Not until he puts Jabba back in his Hut!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Cherokee Wisdom Meets Modern Technology

Tom Marshall We'll shine them. It's an old Cherokee trick.

Jerry Conlaine Oh, I forgot. The Cherokee have been using flashlights for thousands of years.

Dan Mott Didn't they pioneer the D-cell battery?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Unexpected Reunion at Billy's Funeral

Tom Marshall Is this Billy's funeral? Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?

Tom Marshall That you, Jerry?

Jerry Conlaine Tom!

Tom Marshall Dan with you? Where'd you guys park?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Eyes Trying to Escape

Tom Marshall It was like her eyes were trying to escape her head.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Truths and Lies Among Friends

Jerry Conlaine Wait a second. Tom, were you really employee of the month?

Tom Marshall No! I lied about that too!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Decision to Embark on Billy's Trip

Jerry Conlaine Let's take Billy's trip.

Tom Marshall I say hell yes!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Scouting Memories and Sweet Treats

Jerry Conlaine Well I was a boy scout, you were a boy scout too right Tom?

Tom Marshall No but I ate a brownie once.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

When in Rome

Perspectives on Love and Relationships

Puck Six beers enter. No beers leave!

Beth's Dad You could get your heart broken or... you could have the greatest love affair the world has ever known. But you're never gonna know unless you try.

Al Russo The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own.

Gale This is crazy. I don't know whether to look at my own reflection or to look at you. That's how beautiful you are!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Identity and Nationality in Perspective

Tom Marshall I'm not an astronaut, I'm an American.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Facing Challenges with Humor and Resolve

Dan Mott Give em hell, Tommy

[after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry]

Tom Marshall This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.