Memorable Quotes from Dean O'Gorman
2 quotesUnexpected Introductions in The Hobbit
Dwalin
Dwalin, at your service.
[bows]
Bilbo
Uh, Bilbo...Baggins. At yours. Do we know each other?
[Dwalin walks in]
Dwalin
No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?
Bilbo
Is what down where?
Dwalin
Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it.
Bilbo
He said? Who said?
Dwalin
Very good, this. Any more?
Bilbo
What? Oh, uh, yes, yes. Help yourself. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company.
[finds a jar of seed-cakes; pauses as Dwalin eats away]
Dwalin
That'll be the door.
Balin
Balin, At your service.
[smiles and bows]
Bilbo
Good evening.
[blankly]
Balin
Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later. Am I late?
Bilbo
Late for what?
Balin
OH! Evening, brother!
[catches Dwalin trying to get more scones out of another jar]
Dwalin
Ho ho, by my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met.
[sets down the jar and smiles]
Balin
Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us.
Bilbo
Excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but the thing is I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house. It's not that I don't like visitors. I-I like visitors as much as the next hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting. The thing is...uh...the thing is, I don't know either of you, not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry.
Balin
Apology accepted.
[suddenly noticing that Bilbo was talking; smiles, to Bilbo's growing confusion]
Fíli
Fíli.
Kíli
And Kíli.
Fíli and Kíli
At your service.
[bowing]
Kíli
You must be Mr. Boggins!
Bilbo
Nope! You can't come in; you've come to the wrong house.
[tries to shut the door]
Kíli
What? Has it been cancelled?
[pushes it open with his foot; deflated]
Fíli
No one told us.
Bilbo
Ca-? No, nothing's been cancelled.
Kíli
That's a relief!
[smiles]
Fíli
Careful with these. I just had em sharpened.
[tosses Bilbo their blades]
Kíli
It's nice, this place. You do it yourself?
Bilbo
Well, no, it's been in the family for years- That's my mother's glory box! Could you please not do that?
[sees Kíli rubbing his shoes on the furniture]
Dwalin
Fíli, Kíli, come on. Give us a hand.
Kíli
Mr. Dwalin.
[smiling at the sight of Dwalin]
Balin
Let's shove this in the hallway. Otherwise, we'll never get everyone in.
[about the table]
Bilbo
He - "Everyone"? How many more are there? Oh no. No, no. There's nobody home! Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is! I-I-If this is some...clot-head's idea of a joke... ...I can only say. It is in very poor taste! Gandalf.
[surprised; doorbell rings again, Bilbo is getting rather cross as he heads for the door.; louder, tossing the knives to the floor; chuckles sarcastically; opens the door and eight dwarves (Dori, Nori, Ori, Óin, Glóin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur) fall down on top of each other. Gandalf stands behind looking at Bilbo; with an irritated look on his face]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding a Doily and a Dishcloth
Bilbo
Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth.
[grabbing a doily from Nori]
Bofur
But it's full of holes!
Bilbo
It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet.
Bofur
Oh, and a ] it is too, if you've got the balls for it.
[[w:Croquet|wonderful game; laughs]
Bilbo
Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!
[annoyed, but quietly]
Gandalf
My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?
Bilbo
What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?
Gandalf
Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.
Bilbo
I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house.
Ori
Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?
[walks up]
Fíli
Here you go, Ori, give it to me.
Bilbo
Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over 100 years old! And can you not do that? You'll blunt them!
[mortified; to the other dwarves clashing the cutlery together]
Bofur
Oh, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!
Kíli
Blunt the knives, bend the forks!
[singing]
Fíli
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
[singing]
Dwarves
Chip the glasses and crack the plates...That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!Pour the milk on the pantry floor!Splash the wine on every door!Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!Pound them up with a thumping pole!And when you're finished, if they are whole...Send them down the hall to roll!That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.