Memorable Quotes from Denholm Elliott
14 quotesIronies of Life and Relationships
Elliott Templeton
Life is full of ironies, isn't it, Darrell? You know... I spent my whole life... among the great names of Europe. Now I'm dying... And who comes to see me but... Well, I mean... An itinerant...
[Lying on his deathbed, after suffering a stroke]
Larry Darrell
Fish packer?
Elliott Templeton
Fish packer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Musical Moments in Trading Places
Mortimer
What's he doing in there?
Coleman
I believe he is singing, sir.
Randolph
They're very musical people, aren't they?
Coleman
What should I do with his clothes, sir?
Mortimer
Send them to the laundry. He'll want something nice and clean to wear to the ghetto...after I've won the bet.
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Embracing Authenticity in Uncertain Situations
Billy Ray
What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman
Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.
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A Night of Unwanted Guests
Coleman
Your … friends seemed to enjoy themselves, sir. In all, I'd say it was quite a success.
Billy Ray
They wasn't no "friends" of mine, Coleman. Just a bunch'a freeloaders treatin my house like it was a goddamn zoo.
[disgusted]
Coleman
Why don't you retire, sir? You've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.
Billy Ray
Yeah...I think I will, uh, "retire.
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Conspiracy Unfolds Over Secret Crop Report
Billy Ray and Louis
[in perfect unison, as they both suddenly stand} CLARENCE BEEKS!!!
Billy Ray
The Dukes just gave that guy ten grand!
Louis
10 grand?!? I saw an outlay to him in the payroll for 50,000! Mortimer said it was for research.
Billy Ray
Yeah, research on how he can get his hands on that top-secret crop report two days before it goes public!
Louis
My God. The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!
[whispering in shock, horror, and realization]
Ophelia
Unless somebody stops them.
Coleman
Or beats them to it. Eggnog?
[carrying tray; all turn and look at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Moderation in Religion and Enjoyment
Coleman
Would you like a sip of whiskey?
[offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; they are both in Halloween costumes]
Billy Ray
I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman
Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Drinking and Memories
Albert
Cocktail, Mr. Templeton?
Elliott Templeton
No, thank you, Albert. I fear my drinking days are over.
Albert
Surely, a tear of ] could do Monsieur no harm?
[[w: Żubrówka | Żubrówka]
Elliott Templeton
Żubrówka! We used to drink it at the Radziwill's when I stayed there for a shooting. I don't suppose a drop will hurt me. Oh, we must all try some... Ah, the herbs. It's like newly mown lavender.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Violence and Poor Decisions
Billy Ray
You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun cause you pissed at em.
[watches Louis clean his shotgun]
Louis
Why not?
Billy Ray
It's called assault with a deadly weapon; you get twenty years for that shit!
Louis
Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray
Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman
You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit!
[Bringing more shotguns to Louis]
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Struggling to Maintain Composure
Headmaster
Try not to laugh.
Dean Parker
I'm trying.
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The Origin of Indiana's Name Explained
Sallah
Please - what is always with this "Junior"?
Henry Jones Sr.
That's his name: "Henry Jones, Junior.
Indiana Jones
I like "Indiana.
Henry Jones
We named the dog Indiana.
Marcus Brody
May we go home now, please?
Sallah
The dog? You are named after the dog?
[laughs]
Indiana
I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog.
[coldly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Seriousness and Vulgarity
Elliott Templeton
You know, if I may say so, Louisa, it makes perfect sense to me. All Americans should avail themselves of at least one season in Paris just prior to marriage. It curbs the itches which tend to rise a year or two down the connubial pike.
Louisa Bradley
Elliot, don't be vulgar.
Elliott Templeton
You know, that's always been my problem. People think I'm being vulgar when I'm being serious, and they think I'm being serious when I'm being vulgar.
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Culinary Disgust and Snobbery Unveiled
Elliott Templeton
This is the singly most disgusting concoction in the culinary annals.
[Holding freshly made hot dogs at the fair]
Louisa Bradley
That didn't stop you eating a dozen of them every 4th of July when you were a boy, Elliott.
Elliott Templeton
Well, this quaint little village may have been the place of my birth, but after 15 years in Paris, I have come to regard that as a most unfortunate accident of genetics.
Louisa Bradley
Oh, Elliot, you are the biggest snob in the world!
[laughing]
Elliott Templeton
I sincerely hope so.
Larry Darrell
Nice looking dog you've got there, Unc!
Elliott Templeton
Oh, how I envy you, young man. Off to Paris, the City of Light. You know, I really ought to provide you with a few introductions. I could put you in touch with some of the most elite members of the European aristocracy while you're there.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appreciating a Beautiful Music Room
Elliott Templeton
This is my music room.
[Louisa and Isabel have arrived from America and are visiting him in his Parisian mansion]
Louisa Bradley
Oh, isn't that lovely?
Isabel Bradley
Oh, what a beautiful piano!
Elliott Templeton
Well, it's a spinet by Larande, late 18th century French.
Louisa Bradley
It must have cost a fortune.
Elliott Templeton
It did. My poor dear friend, the viscount de Corvence had to part with it at a slight reduction, but then, estates are so draining on one these days, don't you find?
Isabel Bradley
And are all these things for sale?
Elliott Templeton
My dear Louisa, this isn't a shop. Oh, I occasionally allow the odd piece to be torn from my grasp.
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The Dukes' Experiment and Its Consequences
Coleman
Oh, dear!
Billy Ray
It … was … the … Dukes! It … was … the … Dukes!
[Choking]
Louis
You're a DEAD MAN, Valentine!!!
[Coleman and Ophelia pull him off Valentine]
Billy Ray
It was an experiment! They used us as guinea pigs, man! The Dukes used us as guinea pigs, to see how our lives would turn out. They made a bet.
[Gasping; Louis calms down]
Coleman
I'm afraid it's true, sir.
Ophelia
I believe him, Louie.
Louis
The Dukes … ruined my life … over a bet. For how much?
Billy Ray
A dollar.
Louis
One dollar. Fine. That's the way they want it? No problem.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.