Memorable Quotes from Dennis Burkley
4 quotesCritique of Talent and Professionalism at the Range
Clint
How can such a pretty girl have such an ugly swing.
[about Molly]
Earl
The word normal and him don't often collide in the same sentence.
[about Roy]
David Simms
Can you people not see that I'm busy? I'm working. This is my office. Do I come to your office and ask for an autograph? I don't think so. Jesus. What an ugly dog.
TV Director
Another driving range pro, it's all we needed. It's heroes that I need. Not obscure driving range pros.
Jim Nantz
Unbelievable. McAvoy has done it. You just saw the greatest round in U.S. Open history. The all-time lowest round in a major doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus or an Arnold Palmer, Hogan, Nelson or Snead. It's been shot by the most improbable artist of all. Roy McAvoy has his signature on golf's all-time masterpiece round.
Doreen
You're not one of those women who tries to fix men, I hope. I mean, men cannot be fixed, and especially him.
[to Molly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Confusion in a Strange Encounter
Fletch
Name's Ed... Ed Harley.
Joe Jack
Ed... you sure you're in the right place?
Fletch
I think so!
Joe Jack
(mocking) Think so!
Joe Jack
Ed...
Joe Jack
What are you doing in here?
Fletch
I'll give you a hint... Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Fletch
You don't get it?
Joe Jack
(grabs Fletch) No, Ed... you're the one that doesn't get it.
Fletch
Ed HARLEY. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles!
Joe Jack
(shocked) You own the company?
Fletch
Well, my granddaddy started it, then my Daddy screwed Davidson out of his half, and now I own the whole thing.
Joe Jack
(really shocked) Harley-Davidson, no shit?
Fletch
No shit!
Joe Jack
(smiling broadly) Hey, everybody! Ed the Third here owns Harley-Davidson! We're the Nazis from Natchez!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledgment of Roy's Excellence
Earl
You the man, Roy. You are definitely the man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns Among Friends at the Bar
Hank the Bartender
The doctor's in. Help is on its way.
[hands them their drinks]
K.C.
Thanks, Hank. Something wrong, Joe?
[sighs]
Joe
What do ya mean, "Something wrong?
K.C.
You seem down.
Joe
Down? Me?
K.C.
Lately. Yeah.
Joe
We've been partners for what, four months, and now you wanna be my shrink?
K.C.
Sometimes it helps to talk. That's all I'm saying.
[drinks his beer]
Joe
All right. Let me paint you a picture. Portrait of Joe Gavilan. Seven, eight years ago, I sold off the results of my entrepreneurial efforts up to that point: Three tanning salons and two original silk-tip nail parlors in the Antelope Valley, and I started attending weekend Real Estate seminars at the Airport Hyatt. You know, "How to Make $1 Million in Real Estate with Very Little Money Down.
K.C.
Sounds good.
Joe
Started out with a condo in Sherman Oaks. Slapped some paint on the walls. Refaced the kitchen cabinets. Traded up to a smoke-damaged ranch in Tarzana, then a Spanish on Outpost, and a fake Mediterranean in Los Feliz. Pretty soon, I had everything I've got tied up in this... this monstrosity... on Mt. Olympus, at the corner of Hercules and, I shit you not, Achilles.
K.C.
So what's the problem?
Joe
The problem is if I don't score a big commission or get rid of this... piece of shit on Mt. Olympus... well, the word *Titanic* comes to mind.
K.C.
Joe, I know a girl who works for some rich producer. Says he might sell his place. Maybe you can get the listing.
Joe
Got a name?
K.C.
Well, her name's like Minnie or Moma. Or something like that, I don't remember.
Joe
Not the girl, hot rocks, the producer.
K.C.
Oh, I don't know the producer. Way before my time, I...
K.C.
Hey, Joe, you ready for something?
Joe
Shoot.
K.C.
I don't think I want to be a cop anymore.
Joe
Come on, you need some fresh air. Put this on my tab, Hank.
[to Hank]
Hank
What tab?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.