Memorable Quotes from Desmond Llewelyn
18 quotesHumorous Exchange About 007's Distraction
Vijay
Is he still there?
Q
You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!
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Bond's Confidence in His Gadgets
Q
Look, James, I know that we haven't always exactly seen... well, anyway, don't forget, if there's anything you ever need...
[wishing Bond luck on his wedding day]
Bond
Thank you, Q, but this time I've got the gadgets and I know how to use them.
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Bond's Reliability Under Question
Q
Right. Now pay attention, 007. I want you to take great care of this equipment. There are one or two rather special accessories...
James Bond
Q, have I ever let you down?
Q
Frequently.
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Insurance Waiver for Bond's New Car
Q
If you'll just sign here, Mr. Bond. It's the insurance damage waiver for your beautiful new car. Will you need collision coverage?
[Disguised as a rental car agent]
James Bond
Yes.
Q
Fire?
Bond
Probably.
Q
Property destruction?
Bond
Definitely.
Q
Personal injury?
Bond
Well, I hope not, but accidents do happen.
Q
And they frequently do with you.
Bond
Well, that takes care of the normal wear-and-tear. Do I need any other protection?
Q
Only from me, 007. Unless you bring back that car back in pristine order.
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Update on 007's Status
Q
Hello?
Minister
Grandfather is calling Q. What's the situation?
Q
007 alive.
Minister
Where is he? What's he doing?
Q
Just cleaning up a few details.
Stacey Sutton
Oh, James!
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Handling Special Equipment with Care
Q
It is to be handled with special care!
Bond
Everything you give me...
Q
...is treated with equal contempt. Yes, I know.
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A Lighthearted Exchange on Bond's Misdeeds
James Bond
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q
That's putting it mildly, 007!
[in disguise as the priest]
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Mission Success Acknowledged by Leadership
Melina Havelock
For your eyes only, darling.
Frederick Gray
Good work Bond. Please stand by as we put you through to the Prime Minister.
The Prime Minister
Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.
[over the phone]
Max the Parrot
Thank you, thank you.
The Prime Minister
Don't thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you...
Max the Parrot
Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.
The Prime Minister
Well, really, Mr. Bond.
Tanner
I think we're having a little trouble with the line, madam.
Frederick Gray
You idiot. Get on to him.
[to Q]
Q
007. 007??
Frederick Gray
Bond! Have you gone mad? What's going on? Bond. Bond! BOND!
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Witty Exchange Between Bond and Q
Bond
You wouldn't have a smaller piece of thread than that wouldn't you, Q? Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
[hands Q his coat]
Q
Ah, and they missed you? What a pity!
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Bond Faces a New Challenge
R
Now, I daresay, 007, that you've met your match with this machine.
James Bond
Yeah? New model, improved specs?
[Putting on some nearby shades, that are really x-ray glasses]
R
I thought you were on the Inactive roster; some kind of injury?
James Bond
Yes, well, we'll see about that. So...
R
As I was saying, the very latest in interception countermeasures. Titanium armor, a multi-tasking heads-up display, and six beverage cup holders. All in all, rather stocked.
Q
Fully loaded," I think is the term.
R
I think–
Q
You're not here to think, you're here to do what I tell you. Now, go put on the coat and demonstrate it for 007.
R
But of course. Now, watch closely, please, 007. The right arm goes in the right sleeve, thus, and the left arm in the left sleeve, thus. Now, note closely, please: pockets, poppers, and zipper. Take the lower part of the zipper, and insert it into the–
[Puts on the snow jacket]
Q
Oh, pull the tag!
[Q and Bond give a look to each other; Pulls a tag on the front of the jacket]
R
Oh! But you said–! Oooh! Q! Ooof!
[An inflatable self-closing ball inflates out of the back of the jacket, then wraps around R. He falls and rolls around blindly, stuck in the ball]
James Bond
He seems well-suited for the job. Now, you're not retiring anytime soon...are you?
[Q chuckles and goes to a nearby platform]
Q
Now, pay attention 007. I've always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.
Bond
And the second?
Q
Always have an escape plan.
[presses button and the platform lowers itself, and Q, into the floor]
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Bond and Q Discuss Their Activities
Bond
Morning, Q. Sorry about the leg. Skiing?
Q
Hunting!
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Trust in Technological Expertise
Bond
I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q
It goes by hot air.
Bond
Oh, then you can.
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The Importance of Q's Gadgets to Bond
James Bond
This is no place for you, Q. Go home.
Q
Oh, don't be an idiot, 007. I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly, you're going to need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago. Everything for a man on holiday. Explosive alarm clock - guaranteed never to wake up anyone who uses it. Dentonite toothpaste - to be used sparingly, the latest in plastic explosive.
[opens a case]
Bond
I could do with some plastic.
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A Brief Exchange Between Tiffany and Q
Tiffany Case
Hi there, Mr. Q. Are you having any luck?
Q
I'm being somewhat successful, thank you.
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Bond Faces Consequences of His Actions
Bond
I suppose we all have to pay the piper sometime, right, Q?
Q
Oh, pipe down, 007.
Bond
Was it something I said?
Q
No. Something you destroyed: My fishing boat for my retirement, away from you. Now, I want to introduce you to the young fellow I'm grooming to follow me.
[points to advanced (and heavily damaged) skiff Bond earlier used; opens pool table. A platform arises, showing a man working on a BMW coupe. Bond and Q walk toward it]
Man
Oh...
[looks at Q and Bond; man has lab gown stuck on the car door; he looks around in confusion. Bond opens it, freeing the lab coat]
Bond
Helps if you open the door.
Man
Hmm. And you might be?
Q
This is 007!
Bond
If you're Q, does that make him R?
R
Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit, or at least half of it.
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Ejector Seat Explanation in Goldfinger Scene
Q
Now this one I'm particularly keen about. You see the gear lever here? Now, if you take the top off , you'll find a little red button. Whatever you do, don't touch it.
[''Points to the gearstick''; ''opens the cap''; ''Closes the cap, stands up'']
Bond
Yeah, why not?
Q
Because you'll release this section of the roof, and engage and then fire the passenger ejector seat. Whish!
[''points out the section of roof above the front passenger seat''; ''Gestures'']
Bond
Ejector seat? You're joking!
Q
I never joke about my work, 007.
[''Bond falls silent'']
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Attempting Re-entry: A Mission Evaluation
M
Double O Seven...!
[shocked at the camera feed]
Sir Frederick Gray
My God, what's Bond doing?
Q
I think he's attempting re-entry sir.
[looking at a radar screen; Bond looks up and smiles at the camera before unplugging it]
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The Might of a Grenade Pen
Q
A pen. This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the four-second fuse... another three disarms it.
[clicks it three times; clicks it three times again]
Bond
...How long did you say the fuse was?
[takes pen and quickly clicks it thrice]
Q
Oh, grow up, 007.
[takes the pen and disarms it with a groan]
Bond
They always said the pen was mightier than the sword.
Q
Thanks to me, they were right. Look, let's ask Fred here to demonstrate for us. Here we are. Sorry about this, Fred. One, two, three… Don't say it!
[walks over to a dummy; places the pen in Fred's shirt pocket, arms it, and runs to cover. The resulting explosion obliterates Fred from the waist up. to Bond]
Bond
…the writing's on the wall?
Q
Along with the rest of him!
[snickering]
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