Support Your Local Sheriff! - A Sheriff Sparks Family Confusion
Pa Danby:
All right, now he's done it!
Luke Danby:
Who?
Pa Danby:
That sheriff!
Tom Danby:
What's he done?
Pa Danby: [to Luke]
He's pushed me too far this time, that's what he's done! I've been bendin over backwards up til now! But that's all finished! You know I've been bendin over backwards!
Luke Danby:
Well, you sure ain't let him push you into no corner, where you could be provoked into losin your temper.
Pa Danby:
Right! But from now on, I'm tired of bein a nice fella!
Tom Danby:
Pa...you been touchin up your hair again?
Pa Danby: [outraged]
Whattaya mean, "again"?!
Tom Danby: [quickly]
Nothin'! Just, it looks better in spots, that's all!
Pa Danby: [even more outraged]
Whattaya mean, "spots"?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Support Your Local Sheriff! - Three Against One: A Confident Proposition
Luke Danby:
Why don't the three of us go over there together? I don't care if he is the fastest gun to ever hit anywhere.
Pa Danby:
Who says he's the fastest gun to ever hit anywhere?
Tom Danby:
Everyone. That's all they're talkin about, all over town!
Luke Danby:
Besides, what could he do against three of us?
Pa Danby:
He could kill two of us.
Tom Danby:
So who's gonna take care of him?
Luke Danby:
Well, who says anybody's gotta take care of him? Why don't we just run him outta town, like we did the last Sheriff?
Pa Danby:
Because this one won't go.
Tom Danby:
... You ain't talkin like yourself, Pa.
Luke Danby:
Yeah, it was always you chargin in, and us two tryin to hold you back.
Tom Danby: [Pa glares at him]
He didn't throw a scare into you, did he, Pa? I- I didn't mean that the way it sounded! I didn't mean, "did he throw a scare into you", I meant... well, what did he do to you, Pa?
Pa Danby:
He maybe made me more thoughtful. He maybe made me realize, that now that we've got a little money for the first time in our lives, and- and got a chance to get a whole lot more... this'd be a dumb time to find out who's the fastest with a gun, us or some show-off who might get lucky even if he... even if he weren't good!
Luke Danby:
So what are we gonna do about him?
Pa Danby:
Ah, there's always some tramp that's good with a gun that can be hired.
Luke Danby:
But you always say "the Danbys fight their own battles.
Pa Danby:
... Well, maybe I was talking about another branch of the family. (Luke and Tom look confused) Now, I'm gonna take a little trip tomorrow, and I want you two to behave yourselves while I'm gone- I don't want no one to make no martyr out of that sheriff.
Tom Danby:
... What's a martyr?
Pa Danby:
(sarcastically) Oh, I'm sorry- they didn't use words like that in the third grade, did they?
Tom Danby: [Pa scoffs and leaves]
How would I know? I never got that far. You remember all them years I was stuck in the second grade.
Luke Danby:
Ah, shaddup!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.