Dominic Sessa Quotes

Paul Hunham Do you think I want to be babysitting you? Oh, no, no, I was praying to the god I don't even believe in that your mother would pick up the phone or your father would arrive in a helicopter or a submarine or a flying fucking saucer to take you...

Angus Tully My father's dead!

Paul Hunham Hmm. Hey, what's that?

Waitress That's our signature dessert. Cherries jubilee.

Paul Hunham Mmm. That sounds great. Bring the young vandal here cherries jubilee.

Waitress I'm afraid I can't. The dish contains brandy. Same deal with the bananas Foster.

Mary Lamb Yeah, but doesn't the alcohol just burn off?

Waitress It's still against the rules, ma'am.

Paul Hunham Fine. I'll order the cherries jubilee. We can share it.

Waitress Mm. I can't allow that, either.

Paul Hunham Can we say it's his birthday?

Angus Tully It's my birthday.

Waitress Well, happy birthday, young man. Let's get you a slice of cake or some other age appropriate dessert.

Paul Hunham Christ on a crutch. What kind of a fascist hash foundry are you running here?

Angus Tully He used to be fine. He was better than fine. He was great. He was my dad. Then about four years ago, he... started acting strange. Erratic, forgetful, saying all this weird shit. My mom took him to a bunch of doctors, and they put him on medication. But that just made it worse. He got more confused. Then he got angry. And then he got... physical. That was it. That was the last straw. They put him away. And she divorced him... without him even realizing it. That's why she wants a whole new life. And it's easy to just stash me away in boarding school. Like half of us are just stashed away there. And I get it. She never has to look at me. Because maybe when she looks at me, she... she sees him. Maybe she's right. I can't keep it together. I lie. I steal. I piss people off. I don't have any friends, real friends. I'll probably get kicked out of Barton too. And when I do, it'll be my own fault. Get sent to Fork Union and maybe to youknowwhere. And nobody will care. The funny thing is... I wanted to see him so bad this whole time. But I also didn't, you know? Because I'm afraid that's what's going to happen to me one day.

Paul Hunham You're not your father.

Angus Tully How do you know?

Paul Hunham Because no one is his own father. I'm not my dad. No matter how hard he tried to beat that idea into me. I find the world a bitter and complicated place, and it seems to feel the same way about me. I think you and I have this in common. But don't get me wrong, you have your challenges. You're erratic and belligerant and gigantic pain in the balls, but you're not your father. You're your own man. Man, no. You're just a kid. You're just beginning. And you're smart. You've got time to turn things around. Yes, I know that Greeks had the idea that the steps you take to avoid your fate are the very steps that lead you to it, but that's just a literary conceit. In real life, your history does not have to dictate your destiny.

Angus Tully What the fuck just happened? I thought Barton men don't lie. Don't get me wrong, that was fun but you just lied through your teeth.

Paul Hunham What I say during a private conversation is none of your goddamn business. You are not to judge me.

Angus Tully It wasn't a private conversation. The wife and I were there. And I helped you. Why did he ask if you landed on your feet?

Paul Hunham What is this, Nuremberg? Jesus.

Angus Tully You're the hard-ass constantly telling everybody not to lie and going on and on about the honor code.

Paul Hunham There was an incident when I was at Harvard with my roommate.

Angus Tully And?

Paul Hunham He accused me of copying from his senior thesis. Plagiarizing. Ah.

Angus Tully Well, did you?

Paul Hunham No, he stole from me. But that blue-blooded prick's family had allies on the faculty. I mean, their last name is on a library, for Christ's sake. So he accused me in order to sanitize his treachery and, uh, they threw me out.

Angus Tully Wait, so you got kicked out of Harvard for cheating?

Paul Hunham No, I got kicked out of Harvard for hitting him.

Angus Tully You hit him? What, like punched him out?

Paul Hunham No, I hit him with a car. Ah.

Angus Tully You got kicked out of Harvard for hitting a guy with a car?

Paul Hunham By accident.

Paul Hunham Believe it or not, Mr. Tully, there was a time when the fire in my loins burned white hot.

Angus Tully You're full of shit.

Paul Hunham No, the details would curl your toes.

Paul Hunham Fresh air would do you good.

Angus Tully It's like 15 degrees outside.

Paul Hunham And the Romans bathed naked in the freezing Tiber. Adversity builds character, Mr. Tully.

Paul Hunham You just earned yourself a detention, sir, now, get back here!

Angus Tully Being here with you is already one big fucking detention!

Paul Hunham Son of a bitch! That's another detention!

Angus Tully Ouch. You two have chemistry.

Paul Hunham Okay. That's the Percodan talking.

Angus Tully I don't know, seeing her like this, I think she's pretty attractive.

Paul Hunham Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.

Angus Tully Where's my photo?

Teddy Kountze What photo?

Angus Tully I think you know what photo, and you stole it.

Teddy Kountze I resent that baseless accusation.

Angus Tully Give me my goddamn picture.

Teddy Kountze Hey, what's your problem, Tully? You homesick? Huh? Gonna cry? Little boy misses his mommy?

Angus Tully Fuck you, Kountze. Why are you even here, anyway? Where's your family?

Teddy Kountze We're renovating our house, all right? It's all torn up. They're storing the tools and stuff in my room.

Angus Tully That's what they told you? It's winter, idiot. Nobody renovates their house in the winter. Your parents don't want you around because you're a fucking insecure sociopath.

Teddy Kountze A what?

Angus Tully I mean, who'd want you for a son? That's why you grind everybody, because deep down you know you're an asshole. Plus, academically, you're a disaster. I mean, if I were your parents, I'd never want you home again. The only tool in your room is you.

Angus Tully I thought all of the Nazis were hiding in Argentina.

Angus Tully Twisted fucker orphaned that glove on purpose. Left you with one so the loss would sting that much more.