Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - A Simple Game of Tag
Lloyd Christmas:
You're it!
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - Lloyd Declares an End to Wedgies
Lloyd Christmas:
Next time Turks handing out wedgies...your not going to get one! Na uh! Were done pal, finito, the end...Auf wiener schnitzel...Mozeltov!
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - A Unique Solution to Conflict
Lloyd Christmas:
There's only one way to settle this...make out contest.
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - Addressing Personal Issues in Friendship
Lloyd Christmas:
Man you got some serious self issues to work out my pudgy-ugly little friend.
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - A Question About Sharing and Relationships
Lloyd Christmas:
So, did you give him some yet? You know some!
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - Questioning a Messy Situation
Lloyd Christmas: [after seeing chocolate stains all over Harry]
Harry, why are you covered in poo?
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Fired Up! - Cheer Camp Good Luck Wishes
Nick Brady:
Hey, Carly !
Carly:
Yeah, I know. It's the most beautiful name you've ever heard, my eyes look like forever and you love every bone in my body, especially yours.
Nick Brady:
No, but that's a good one. Do you mind if I use it?
Shawn Colfax:
No. No lines. We just wanted to wish you good luck in the cheer camp.
Carly:
Guys, I know your game. No girl left unturned.
Shawn Colfax:
What ?!
Nick Brady:
How dare you ?!
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Fired Up! - Betting on Coach's Language at Camp
Nick Brady:
Let's bet how many times he says shit'. I say seven.
Shawn Colfax:
No way. Ten.
Nick Brady, Shawn Colfax:
Hey coach!
Coach Byrnes:
You shitheads think you're the shit? That you don't need to pay attention out there? I'll kick the shit outta ya! You pumped for football camp?
Shawn Colfax:
Eh, I guess so.
Nick Brady:
Yeah, two weeks without girls. Who wouldn't be pumped?
Coach Byrnes:
Don't mess with me shitdick! I'm gonna push ya like you've never been pushed before. Your muscles will ache, your head will throb. You're gonna shit blood out of holes you never knew you had.
Nick Brady:
Well at least we're gonna be in Daytona Beach.
Coach Byrnes:
No no. They changed it up this year. Camp's gonna be in El Paso, Texas. Hotter than your shithole. We're gonna get you shits conditioned! Bus leaves Monday at o shithundred hours.
Nick Brady:
Which is...?
Coach Byrnes:
4:45 am.
Nick Brady:
Of course.
Shawn Colfax:
As usual.
Nick Brady:
Mhmm.
Coach Byrnes:
Skip your morning shit and get down there.
Nick Brady:
Ten shits'. You win. How do you always know?
Shawn Colfax:
It's a gift. I'm not proud of it.
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Fired Up! - Spelling Out Enthusiasm in Cheerleading
Coach Keith: [yelling]
How do you spell fired up'?
Cheerleaders:
F! U!
Shawn Colfax:
Not really...
Nick Brady:
Uh-uh.
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Fired Up! - Sibling Dynamics and Unspoken Tensions
Shawn Colfax:
Hiya sis!
Poppy:
Why am I looking at you? Speak!
Nick Brady:
Poppy, you're getting so big now! How old are you?
Poppy:
I'm 60. Can we get past the small talk? The only time you and my brother come to see me is when you need something. What? Skin mags? Mike's Hard Lemonade? Another ride to the clinic?
Nick Brady: [appalled]
Poppy!
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Fired Up! - Unwanted Attention in a Conversation
Nick Brady:
What are you doing later?
Diora:
Not you.
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Fired Up! - Misinterpreting a Bus Crash Situation
Nick Brady:
I think our bus crashed and we're in heaven.
Shawn Colfax:
No, we would've heard We are crashing, we we are crashing'.
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Fired Up! - Struggling with a challenge
Nick Brady:
Why can't I crack this? Dammit!
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Fired Up! - Confidence in Winning Despite Distractions
Nick Brady:
I could have one in my mouth and two in each hands and still win the straight award !
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Fired Up! - Struggling with Sexual Identity and Stereotypes
Nick Brady:
Shut up! I'm too straight to be gay!
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Fired Up! - Request for Identification
Nick Brady:
(repeated line) Name, gimme a name.
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Fired Up! - Departure from Cheer Camp
Nick Brady:
Kiss kiss, bang bang, bye bye. Cheer Camp. We are leaving, we are leaving. We are leaving.
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Fired Up! - A Shocking Revelation About Family and Identity
Nick Brady:
So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted, the people I've been calling mom and dad are actually infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinnati for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, he needs a kidney and I'm the only match! And apparently Bruce needs it stat. Mhm, you need it stat, Bruce? Huh? Well maybe I needed a father stat, instead of this stay-at-home-dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn spermless liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6:00 am. I know, Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital. Managed care. It's ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me.
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Fired Up! - Questioning the Routine's Communication Style
Nick Brady:
We're doing a lot of talking during the routine. I'm new but, this seems like a lot of talking during the routine.
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Fired Up! - The Uniqueness of Human Deception
Nick Brady:
Humans are the only species that can lie, except for maybe chameleons. Oh, and possums, they play dead.
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Fired Up! - Thinking Outside the Box
Nick Brady:
Look at that, huh? We're all here thinking inside the box, and you're outside of it, playing a little game of What If. Gorgeous and brilliant, the triple threat.
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Fired Up! - Advice on Personal and Professional Boundaries
Nick Brady:
Do not poop where you eat, remember? That's why they're no restaurants called The Bathroom'.
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Fired Up! - Questioning Olive Garden's Social Atmosphere
Nick Brady:
Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?
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Fired Up! - Winning Despite Unconventional Circumstances
Nick Brady:
I could be watching Project Runway marathon with Nathan Lane under my blouse and still win the straight award.
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The Thing - Beliefs About the Unbelievable
Adam Finch:
You know, I never believed in this shit.
Jonas:
I always did.
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Cellular - Unexpected Events and Unusual Facts
Chad:
Dude, I have no idea what just happened. One minute I'm talking to nipples, next thing you know, I'm wearing a whale costume handing out flyers.
Ryan: [laughs]
That sucks. Sounds like she got you.
Chad:
I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't have its benefits.
Chad:
Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's got an 11-foot penis? Heal the Bay.
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Cellular - A Tense Encounter Between Friends
Ryan:
It's Chloe!
Chad:
No, dude, don't do this! Don't do this!
Ryan:
I'm just gonna say "hi.
Chad:
You're not gonna say "hi.
Ryan:
No "hi"?
Chad:
No "hi.
Ryan:
I can't say...
Chad: [shouts]
Come on, man! Hold it together! This girl, she dumped you, all right? Have some self-respect, have some dignity!
Ryan:
You're right.
Chad:
Be strong.
Ryan:
You're right.
Chad:
Yeah.
Ryan:
Thank you.
Chad:
All right.
Chad:
Oh! What's goin on, ladies?
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Cellular - Frustration with Unfortunate Situations
Chad: [seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out; Ryan shoves the box at him]
Ha ha - that sucks. No way! This sucks more!
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Cellular - Chad's Unconventional Introduction to Friends
Chad: [greeting girls at the pier]
Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.
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