It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Blame and Greed in a Chaotic Pursuit
Benjamin: [to Culpeper]
It's all your fault, It's your fault right from beginning to end!
Col. Hawthorne:
You know, even for a policeman, your behavior was ruddy outrageous!
Sylvester:
Yeah, you could have taken a fair share like the rest of us, but no! You just had to go and grab up the whole scene, baby.
Dingy Bell:
We had 350,000 bucks right in our hands.
Melville Crump:
14 into $350,000...
Dingy Bell: [groans]
Oh, shut up!
Otto Meyer: [turns to Culpeper]
I wish I knew what they're going to do to us. But no matter what happens to us... ...what happens to you, I hope will be worse!
Culpeper:
I don't think you have to worry about that. My wife is divorcing me; my mother in-law is suing me for damages; my daughter is petitioning the court to get her name changed; my pension has been revoked, and the ONLY reason, that you ten idiots will very likely get off lightly, is because the judge will have me up there...to throw the book at!
2nd Cabbie: [laughs along with the 3rd Cabbie who smiles to Culpeper]
Awww...that's tough!
Culpeper:
I'd like to think that sometime, maybe 10 or 20 years from now, there will be something that I could laugh at, anything.
Mrs. Marcus: [yelling at the bandaged men; slips on the banana peel and falls back-first on the floor]
Now see here, you idiots, it's all your fault, because if you hadn't...!
Sylvester: [horrified]
Mama!
Mrs. Marcus: [yelling while being put on the stretcher and taken away by the doctors]
Don't you dare touch me! Get away from me! Let me go! Leave me alone...!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Uncertainty About New Arrivals
Sylvester:
Who are they?
Mrs. Marcus:
I don't know.
Sylvester:
From this morning?
Mrs. Marcus:
Yes.
Sylvester:
Who is he?
Mrs. Marcus:
I don't know.
Sylvester:
Who is he?
Mrs. Marcus:
I don't know.
Sylvester: [two cab drivers run by]
Mama, how many people are mixed up in this thing? Who are they? Cabbies? Mama, this thing is like a convention.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - A Frantic Call for Help
Sylvester: [on the phone]
Mama, who's with you? Where are you talking to me? Where are you?
Mrs. Marcus: [on the phone]
I'm with this truck driver at Peterson's garage in a place called Plaster City! And will you just shut up a minute so I can tell you what happened?!
Sylvester: [on the phone]
Now listen, Mommy, you listen to me close. You stay right there, because I'm coming, Mom. I'm coming to get you right now, Mom.
Mrs. Marcus: [on the phone]
Will you shut up and listen?!
Sylvester: [on the phone]
Mama, it's all right. Everything's gonna be all right, Mama. Your baby's coming to get ya. You just sit there. Sit there, relax, take it easy.
Mrs. Marcus: [on the phone]
Sylvester-!
Sylvester: [on the phone]
I'm coming to get you, Mom!
Mrs. Marcus: [on the phone]
Shut up and let me talk-!
Sylvester: [on the phone; interrupting his mother; hangs up]
Everything is gonna be all right!
Lennie Pike: [to Mrs. Marcus]
Well?
Mrs. Marcus: [to Lennie; in a calm shock; to Emmeline; shouting]
So he's coming here. And I'm not to worry about a thing, because "everything is going to be all right". EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER! A big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Debate Over Sylvester's Character and Reliability
Mrs. Marcus:
Now for the last time! Are we calling Sylvester or not?!
Russell:
No! We are not! And I'll tell you why not. Because your son Sylvester is an irresponsible, unreliable, big loudmouth no good bum! Who if he isn't a crook? It's because he doesn't have the brains or ambition even to BECOME a crook!
Col. Hawthorne:
I say: Good show!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Unexpected Encounters in the Desert
Man in Car in Desert: [drives and stops by]
Trouble? Having any trouble?
Mrs. Marcus:
Yes, and we don't need any help from you!
Man in Car in Desert: [offended; drives off]
Well!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Cultural Differences in Accents and Perception
Col. Hawthorne:
Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.
Mrs. Marcus:
Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something?
Col. Hawthorne:
Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.
Mrs. Marcus:
Sounds so foreign.
Col. Hawthorne: [eyes widen]
Really?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World - Chaos Following a Reckless Driving Incident
Russell:
Whoa! Hey d-did ya see it, the way he went sailing right out there? He just went sailing right out there.
Melville Crump:
It was terrible, I m-a-mean just terrible. He musta been doin over eighty ya know.
Russell:
An ambulance - we better, we oughta call an ambulance.
Dingy Bell:
Oh...Oh look at that car.
Russell:
He went sailing right out there.
Dingy Bell:
How bout you doin ninety miles an hour?
Russell:
I wasn't doin - he was passin me.
Dingy Bell:
We weren't standin still when he passed us...
Russell:
I never saw such a crazy guy in my life!...
Lennie Pike:
Come on, let's get down there!
Russell: [to Emmeline and Mrs. Marcus]
W...We're gonna go down there, you stay in the car.
Emmeline:
Now Russell, be careful, remember your condition.
Mrs. Marcus: [gestures her hand with disdain]
Eh.
Russell: [to himself; follows down after the group]
Ooh, boy the way he just sailed out there.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.