Eve Arden Quotes

Peerless Pauline Oh, but, you don't have to go right now, do you?

J. Cheever Loophole Well, there's nothing to keep me here that I can see, from this angle.

Peerless Pauline But, we, we hardly know each other. I can be very entertaining if I want to be.

J. Cheever Loophole There must be some way of getting that money without getting in trouble with the ]. Will you walk on your hands?

Terry You sound very superior. What have you ever done in the theatre?

Eve Everything but burst out of a pie at a Rotarian banquet.

Terry You all talk as though the world owed you a living. Maybe if you tried to do something for the theatre, the theatre would do something for you.

Judy Oh, what theatre!

Another girl Is there a theatre?

Eve I don't know. Has anybody looked up the side streets lately?

Terry It doesn't seem to me that any of you take your work very seriously.

Judy Well, now that you're here, we're all giving up.

Terry At least I'm gonna have a try at it. If I can act, I want the world to know it. If I can't, I want to know it.

Eve Even your best friends won't tell you.

Terry It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your minds stretched a little further than the next wisecrack.

Eve You know I tried that once, but it didn't snap back into place.

Peerless Pauline You're the man I've been dreaming of!

J. Cheever Loophole What do you eat before you go to bed?

Principal McGee If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

Ida Corwin Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.

Paul Biegler You're fired.

Maida Rutledge You can't fire me until you pay me.

Peerless Pauline I've waited so long to find someone like you.

J. Cheever Loophole Oh, someone like me, I'm not good enough for you, eh?

Doug Blake Vi, isn't he wonderful?

Vivian Martin Yeah, cutest little lease-breaker I ever saw. Where's his mother?

Doug Blake She's downstairs, she wasn't sure how you'd take this.

Vivian Martin Yeah I'll bet.

Ida Corwin When men get around me, they get allergic to wedding rings. You know, big sister type. Good old Ida. You can talk it over with her man to man. I'm getting awfully tired of men talking to me man to man.

Terry The trouble with you is - you're all trying to be comics. Don't you ever take anything seriously?

Judy If you sat around for a year trying to get a job, you won't take anything seriously either.

Terry Well, do you have to just sit around and do nothing about it?

Judy Maybe it's in the blood. My grandfather sat around till he was eighty.

Terry Well my grandfather didn't and if he and a lot of others hadn't crossed the country in a covered wagon, there'd still be Indians living in Wichita.

Eve Who do you think's living there now?

Terry You think you're facing difficulties. What do you think of the men who crossed the Rockies?

One of the girls Did any of them ever try to crash a manager's office?

Terry No, but if they'd wanted to, I'm sure they could have and I bet I can too.

Principal McGee Oh, Blanche, stop blubbering!

Ida Corwin Personally, I don't think you're the type for the work. But against my better judgment, I'll give you a trial. Now you need white shoes. Ask for nurses regulation. Any of the stores. $2.95. We furnish your uniform but it comes off your first check. $3.95. You get it at cost and keep it laundered. If you don't suit us, we charge you twenty-five cents on the uniform. That comes off your check too. Keep your own tips.