Memorable Quotes from Fran Kranz
7 quotesFear of the Enlightened Stoner
Marty Mikalski
Statistical fact: cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Influence of Hidden Manipulators
Marty Mikalski
Puppeteers...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reality TV Dilemma and Parental Expectations
Marty Mikalski
Oh my God. I'm on a reality TV show. My parents are gonna think I'm such a burn-out.
[after discovering a hidden camera]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversations Amidst Chaos
Marty Mikalski
Yeah, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?
[After Dana discovers Judah's dismembered body]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Couples Skate Announcement at the Rink
Greg
I'm going in. Cover me!
[notices that it is almost 8:00; to Rowley]
Bill
All rockers and hardcore skaters off the rink, unless you're lookin for love. It's time for Couples Skate!
[over P.A.]
Greg
I'm making my move.
[prepares to tap Holly on the shoulder]
Bill
STOP!!!! Enough of that total lameness! Who's ready to ROCK?! Yeah!
[over P.A.; The music stops; Greg turns around; plays the intro to "Cut Throat" by Kittie]
Rodrick
Whoo!
[makes the "Double Horns" sign with both hands]
Holly
Come on, let's get outta here. Come on.
[she and her friends exit the rink]
Rowley
What're we gonna do?!
[panicking]
Greg
Stay calm. All we have to do is just stay here.
Greg
Rowley! Hang on!
Rowley
WHOOOOOOOA!!!
[shrieking]
Susan
GREG HEFFLEY! This is your mother! Everything is going to be okay. Stay where you are, and your father is going to come rescue you. I repeat, everything is going to be okay. Okay, here he comes. Here comes Frank. I see him. He's on his way. Okay.
[over P.A.]
Greg
Dad!
Frank
I know, I know.
Susan
Okay. Alright. Everyone, go back to skating!
[over P.A.]
Frank
You alright?
Greg
Yeah.
Rodrick
Hey, Romeo. How'd it go with the new girl?
Greg
WHOOOA!!!!
[grunts angrily and lunges at Rodrick, screaming; lands onto Taylor's birthday cake; Rodrick laughs; lifts his head up off the smashed cake, his face covered in frosting]
Taylor
You ruined my birthday! You jerk!
[furiously; to Greg]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Unexpected Enjoyment
Greg
Okay. The note was a minor setback, but at least things are still going well with Rodrick. It's amazing but I'm actually enjoying watching Loded Diper rehearse for the talent show. Bill's taken the band to a whole new level.
[narrating]
Bill
Somebody farted.
[speaks into the microphone; echoing]
Rodrick
I got one. I got one. I got a good one. I got a good one. Somebody farted.
[speaks into the microphone; echoing]
Greg
My dad should be happy that I'm hanging out with Rodrick. But I don't think he really likes Bill. I think what he's worried about is I'll turn out like Rodrick, Manny'll turn out like me, and eventually, we'll all turn out like Bill.
[laughs and turns at his father; narrating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Reading Latin
Marty Mikalski
Alright, I'm drawin a line in the fuckin sand. Do not read the Latin!
[While group is in the cellar]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.