Frances Fisher Quotes

Elaine I want you to find someone who has real potential, not this holidate crap like your aunt.

Sloane She seems like she's having fun.

Elaine She's gonna die alone in a wheelchair and a diaper. Is that what you want?

Sloane Do I get a male nurse?

Strawberry Alice You just kicked the shit out of an innocent man.

Little Bill Daggett Innocent? Innocent of what?

Clyde You know, he don't have a straight angle in that whole god-damned porch, or the whole house for that matter. He is the worst damn carpenter.

Skinny Dubois You know how women lie.

Strawberry Alice Just because we let them smelly fools ride us like horses don't mean we gotta let em brand us like horses. Maybe we ain't nothing but whores but we, by god, we ain't horses.

Elaine This is what you wear to Christmas dinner? Don't you even own a dress?

Sloane I'm great, Mom. Thanks. House looks... beautiful.

Elaine Well, your Aunt Susan brought at-the-mall Santa home, and, uh, your nephew just pooped in the manger.

Abby Ugh, it was a tiny poo. I mean, he moved the baby Jesus first.

Elaine Oh, well, I know the holidays can be stressful, but no man wants to marry a smoker... who lies.

Sloane Well, no man wants a bitchy mother-in-law, so I guess that's three strikes.

Elaine She doesn't need another friend. She needs a husband, a partner, someone who is legally bound to be there during the chemo.

Sloane What chemo?

Elaine Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. You have bad genes - and bald women don't really get a lot of dates.

Jackson You have nothing to worry about, okay? Sloane is a great girl - even bald.

Elaine Then why aren't you sleeping with her?