Memorable Quotes from Garry Marshall
4 quotesSupporting Family Through Difficult Times
Edmund Edwards
She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.
[about Lori]
Rose Schwartz
Yeah.
Edmund Edwards
We have to love her.
Rose Schwartz
Mmm.
Edmund Edwards
We have to care about her.
Rose Schwartz
Mmm.
Edmund Edwards
And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dramatic Revelations in a Soap Opera
Montana Moorehead
WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!
[as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up]
Jeffrey Anderson
I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me?!
Edmund Edwards
This is what I meant. This is what I told them to do. This is soap opera!
[offstage, delighted]
Jeffrey Anderson
Doctor!
Ariel Maloney
A second opinion... this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.
Rose Schwartz
Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigation, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse, Montana Moorehead. Because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island.
[German accent]
Rose Schwartz
Hello.
[normal voice]
Montana Moorehead
NO! NO! NO!
[shouts and runs off]
Edmund Edwards
She's a boy!
[offstage]
David Barnes
Yeah, well we knew that.
[starts gagging]
Edmund Edwards
Are you okay?
David Barnes
I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others.
[weak voice]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Show's Declining Ratings
Edmund Edwards
I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Lunch Encounter and Test Results
Celeste Talbert
Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here?
[as Maggie]
Jeffrey Anderson
I will if it's that sample. Huh... I wish it was that simple.
[as Dr. Randall]
Edmund Edwards
This guy never heard of contact lenses?
[offstage]
Jeffrey Anderson
The test results have come back.
Celeste Talbert
And?
Jeffrey Anderson
And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid... Bran... fluid. Bran flavor.
[pause]
Burton White
What the hell?
David Barnes
Brain fever!
[offstage]
Edmund Edwards
Say it!
[offstage, loudly]
Celeste Talbert
Brain fever!
Jeffrey Anderson
Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria... Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the...
[as Dr. Randall; they both goggle at the word]
Celeste Talbert
Literally explode?
Jeffrey Anderson
Exactly, within the next three houses.
Celeste Talbert
Hours?
Jeffrey Anderson
Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.
Celeste Talbert
Restaurant?
Jeffrey Anderson
Restaurant, yes.
Celeste Talbert
Her brain will actually explode?
Jeffrey Anderson
Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.