FRED: The Movie - Unwanted Undergarments in the Laundromat
Laundromat manager:
What are you doing? You can't be naked in here.
Fred:
I was going to leave my underwear on.
Laundromat manager:
Yeah. Well, nobody wants to see you in your underwear.
Fred: [begins to sing; with the laundromat manager at the same time]
I beg to differ. I've been told my body's pretty attractive. Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-
Laundromat manager: [sings]
Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no.
Laundromat manager:
Get your butt out of here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Soul Plane - Mixing Ingredients for Bubbly Drink
Flame: [[:w:Colt 45 (malt liquor)|Colt 45; [:w:Sierra Mist|Sierra Mist]
Now, how much ] to ] do you mix to get bubbly? Probably half and half.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Soul Plane - Willingness to Participate in Cock Fight
Flame: [After hearing Muggsy say he's got a cock fight in 10 minutes]
Cock fight? I'm in.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Soul Plane - Captain's Fate Declared by Flame
Flame: [calmly, after a stewardess has whispered something into his ear; screams]
I'll handle this. THE CAPTAIN'S DEAD!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle - Misunderstanding Leads to Unnecessary Panic
Martone: [notices the jail door keys in the jail door, and Tarik Jackson sitting inside the cell reading a book]
Hey! Jackson's trying to escape!
Tarik:
What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here.
Reilly:
He's trying to break free! Get him!
Tarik:
Aw, shit.
Martone:
Don't move. Stop resisting! We need back up now! He's got a gun!
Tarik:
That's not a gun, that's a book.
Reilly:
Secure the book!
Palumbo:
Book is secure. You bring this filth in here? What is this shit?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle - Confronting Racial Stereotypes and Injustice
Harold:
So, what are you in here for?
Tarik:
For bein black.
Harold:
Seriously?
Tarik:
I am serious. Wanna know what happened?
Tarik: [[w: Barnes and Noble|Barnes and Noble; [w:Newark, New Jersey|Newark]
I was walkin out of a ], and the cop stops me. Now, evidently, a black guy robbed a store in ]. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". So he starts beatin me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold:
Holy shit. What'd you do?
Tarik:
I kept sayin': "I understand I'm under arrest. Now, please stop beatin me!".
Harold:
I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik:
Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. People have been messin with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.