Memorable Quotes from Gary Anthony Williams
6 quotesConfronting Racial Stereotypes and Injustice
Harold
So, what are you in here for?
Tarik
For bein black.
Harold
Seriously?
Tarik
I am serious. Wanna know what happened?
Tarik
I was walkin out of a ], and the cop stops me. Now, evidently, a black guy robbed a store in ]. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". So he starts beatin me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
[[w: Barnes and Noble|Barnes and Noble; [w:Newark, New Jersey|Newark]
Harold
Holy shit. What'd you do?
Tarik
I kept sayin': "I understand I'm under arrest. Now, please stop beatin me!".
Harold
I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik
Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. People have been messin with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unwanted Undergarments in the Laundromat
Laundromat manager
What are you doing? You can't be naked in here.
Fred
I was going to leave my underwear on.
Laundromat manager
Yeah. Well, nobody wants to see you in your underwear.
Fred
I beg to differ. I've been told my body's pretty attractive. Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah / Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-
[begins to sing; with the laundromat manager at the same time]
Laundromat manager
Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no / Uh-huh, no.
[sings]
Laundromat manager
Get your butt out of here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Leads to Unnecessary Panic
Martone
Hey! Jackson's trying to escape!
[notices the jail door keys in the jail door, and Tarik Jackson sitting inside the cell reading a book]
Tarik
What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here.
Reilly
He's trying to break free! Get him!
Tarik
Aw, shit.
Martone
Don't move. Stop resisting! We need back up now! He's got a gun!
Tarik
That's not a gun, that's a book.
Reilly
Secure the book!
Palumbo
Book is secure. You bring this filth in here? What is this shit?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mixing Ingredients for Bubbly Drink
Flame
Now, how much ] to ] do you mix to get bubbly? Probably half and half.
[[:w:Colt 45 (malt liquor)|Colt 45; [:w:Sierra Mist|Sierra Mist]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Captain's Fate Declared by Flame
Flame
I'll handle this. THE CAPTAIN'S DEAD!
[calmly, after a stewardess has whispered something into his ear; screams]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Willingness to Participate in Cock Fight
Flame
Cock fight? I'm in.
[After hearing Muggsy say he's got a cock fight in 10 minutes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.