Memorable Quotes from Gene Wilder
45 quotesDesperation Behind Locked Doors
Dr. Frankenstein
Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door!
Inga
Yes, Doctor.
Igor
Nice workin with ya.
[sarcastically]
Dr. Frankenstein
Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I WAS JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA HA HA! Jesus Christ, let me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! MOMMY!!!
[panicking, turns back to the door; turns to the Monster, then back to the door; sarcastically; begins pounding on the door; outside, Frau Blūcher stops Inga and Igor from trying to open the cell]
Frau Blucher
Nein!
[blocking the door as Inga and Igor again try to open the cell]
Dr. Frankenstein
Hello, handsome! You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because...they are JEALOUS! Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a GOD! And listen to me, you are not evil. You...are...GOOD! This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him! I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire!
[turns back to the Monster, deciding a different approach...; the Monster looks momentarily wrong-footed; the Monster starts to cry; he hugs him]
Inga
Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?!
[from outside]
Dr. Frankenstein
MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!!!
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Loneliness and Unexpected Encounters in Frankenstein
Igor
I! I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me.
[singing; scatting]
Dr. Frankenstein
Igor!
Igor
Froadrick!
Dr. Frankenstein
How did you get here?
Igor
Through the dumbwaiter. I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just...followed it down. Call it...a hunch. Ba-dum SHI!
[does a rimshot]
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Confusion Over Werewolf Encounter
Inga
Werewolf!
Dr. Frankenstein
Werewolf?
Igor
There.
Dr. Frankenstein
What?
Igor
There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frankenstein
Why are you talking that way?
Igor
I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frankenstein
No, I don't want to.
Igor
Suit yourself. I'm easy.
[shrugs]
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The Challenges of Creating a Giant Creature
Dr. Frankenstein
The minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed. I resolved therefore to make the Creature of gigantic stature." Of course, that would simplify everything.
[reading his grandfather's work]
Inga
In other words...his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frankenstein
Precisely.
Inga
He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.
[her eyes get wide]
Dr. Frankenstein
That goes without saying.
[ponders this a moment]
Inga
Woof.
Igor
He's going to be very popular.
[to the audience]
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Mispronunciation of a Name
Igor
Dr. Frankenstein?
Dr. Frankenstein
Fronkensteen.
Igor
You're putting me on.
Dr. Frankenstein
No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen.
Igor
Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frankenstein
No..."Frederick.
Igor
Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frankenstein
It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen.
Igor
I see.
Dr. Frankenstein
You must be Igor.
Igor
No, it's pronounced "eye-gor.
Dr. Frankenstein
But they told me it was "ee-gor.
Igor
Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
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Backing Up After an Unexpected Incident
Dave Lyons
We're in a warehouse, and you just hit a cow. I think we better back up.
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Frustration with Ignorance and Stupidity
George Caldwell
You stupid, ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard! Jesus Christ, I met some dumb bastards in time, but you outdo them all! Get over there!
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Frustration Expressed in Strong Language
George Caldwell
Son of a bitch!
[running gag whenever he's ejected from the train in any manner]
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Dining Experience on the Silver Streak
Devereau
The Silver Streak does have its drawbacks, but please try the marmalade. They do provide an excellent cuisine.
Grover
Oh, thank you, sir. I'll tell the boys in the kitchen. We aims to please. Coffee, miss?
Hilly
No, thanks.
Grover
He ain't bullshittin about the cuisine.
Devereau
Steward?
Grover
Is that your lady, man? She's somethin else.
Devereau
Steward!
Grover
Stand up, mama. Let me get a look at you.
Devereau
Steward!
Grover
Mm, mm, mm! Have mercy!
Devereau
Steward, you may go.
Grover
Just a little more coffee?
Devereau
No, thank you.
Grover
Half a cup? Oh, sorry, sir. Look what I've done.
[pours coffee in Devereau's lap]
Devereau
You... Get out of...
Grover
See what I've done...
Devereau
You ignorant nigger!
Grover
Who you callin nigger, huh? You don't know me well enough to call me no nigger! I'll slap the taste out your mouth! You don't even know my name! I'll whoop your ass! Beat the white off your ass!
[pulling a gun]
Hilly
Who are you?
Grover
I'm a thief.
George
It's all right, Hilly. He's a friend of mine.
Hilly
Hello.
Grover
Hi.
Hilly
Hi.
Grover
So this is Mister Big?
George
That's the man.
Grover
You ain't saying shit now, Mister Big.
[to Devereau]
Devereau
I must admit that I'm slightly at a loss for words. But on the other hand, I should warn you that you are a killer and you are wanted by the police in every state and I recommend that you, uh, be careful.
George Caldwell
You're the killer who's wanted by the police in every state. That man you had shot wasn't a vitamin salesman, he was a federal agent. They've been after you for two years, ever since that plane crash in Cologne, Germany, when you caused a hundred people to die just to cover up your link with the scandal at the Metropolitan Gallery. So why don't we get them the proof that they wanted? Let's go and get the Rembrandt letters. Get up.
[points the gun at Devereau]
Roger Devereau
If you insist.
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Comfort from a Lifelong Affection
Leo Bloom
It's just that I've had it ever since I was a baby, and I find it very comforting.
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Unexpected Threats in Unusual Circumstances
Dave Lyons
Today, I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection. That doesn't happen every day.
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A Sarcastic Response to Arrogance
Dave Lyons
Well excusez-moi, monsieur hot shit!
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Avoiding Unwanted Words
Leo Bloom
Max! Please don't say that word again.
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A Doctor Offers Unconventional Help
Dr. Frankenstein
You know, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor
]?
[[Ignorance|What hump]
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Nervousness in Challenging Situations
Leo Bloom
Mr. Bialystock, I cannot FUNCTION under these conditions! You're making me extremely nervous.
[pulls out his blue blanket and hugs it]
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Struggling with Alcohol's Bitter Dilemma
Stanley
I hate the taste of alcohol, but if I don't drink, I feel awful.
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Questioning Innocence in a Tough Situation
Big Mean
What's the charge?
Harry Monroe
Innocent.
Big Mean
Ain't we all?
Harry Monroe
Bank robbery?
Big Mean
Oh, shit.
Harry Monroe
Ooooh, shit!
Big Mean
You can kiss the baby.
Harry Monroe
Kiss the baby?
Skip Donahue
What baby is that, sir?
[to Big Mean]
Big Mean
Ask your lawyer.
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Embrace Possibility and Change the World
Willy Wonka
If you want to view ], simply look around and view it.Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world... there's nothing to it.
[sings; [paradise]
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Miscommunication in a Game of Charades
Skip Donahue
We tried to teach him Charades! He didn't get it! He just didn't get it!
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A Question of Vermicelli and Movement
Student
Dr. Frank... Fronkensteen.
[Dr. Frankenstein gives him a stern look]
Dr. Frankenstein
Yes?
Student
Isn't it true that ] preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extraordinary means, it actually began to move with a voluntary motion?
[[Charles Darwin|Darwin]
Dr. Frankenstein
Are you speaking of the ] or the spaghetti?
[[worm]
Student
Why the worm, sir.
Dr. Frankenstein
Yes, it does seem I read something about that incident when I was a student. But, you got to remember that a worm, with very few exceptions, is not a human being.
Student
But wasn't that the basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue?
Dr. Frankenstein
My grandfather was a very sick man.
[getting annoyed]
Student
But as a Fronkensteen, aren't you the least ] about it? Doesn't bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue for you?
[air quotes; [curious]
Dr. Frankenstein
You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a ]. Dead is dead!
[getting more annoyed; [Madness|lunatic mind]
Student
But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys!
Dr. Frankenstein
Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I'm talking about the central nervous system!
[raising voice]
Student
But sir...
Dr. Frankenstein
I am a ], not a ]! You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel than you have of mending a broken nervous system!
[shouting; [scientist; [philosopher]
Medical Student
But what about your grandfather's work, sir?
Dr. Frankenstein
My grandfather's work was doodoo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life! Class...is...dismissed.
[jams the scalpel into his leg, lets go of the scalpel and it sticks upright out of his leg, grasps it again, then slowly crosses his legs to block the scalpel from view]
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Cell Upgrade Request in Stir Crazy
Skip Donahue
I want a bigger cell! With better ventilation!
Deputy Ward Wilson
Why? Grossberger been farin on ya?
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Assuming Dishonesty for Discussion Purposes
Leo Bloom
Let's assume, just for the moment, that you are a dishonest man.
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Desire for Comfort and Security
Leo Bloom
GIMME MY BLUE BLANKET!!!
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The Freedom of Pure Imagination
Willy Wonka
There is no life I know to compare with pure ].Living there, you'll be free, if you truly wish to be.
[sings; [imagination]
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Fear and Discomfort in Confrontation
Leo Bloom
Go away, go away. You frighten me.
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The Importance of Imagination and Dreams
Willy Wonka
* Not original to this work, the proverb dates from at least the 18th century.
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Uncertainty in the Journey Ahead
Willy Wonka
There's no earthly way of knowingwhich direction we are going.There's no knowing where we're rowing,or which way the river's flowing.Is it raining? Is it snowing?Is a hurricane a-blowing? BLAH!Not a speck of light is showing,so the danger must be growing.Are the fires of hell a-glowing?Is the grisly reaper mowing?!YES! The danger must be growing,for the rowers keep on rowing...And they're certainly not showing...ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!!
[in the tunnel]
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Facing Harsh Realities in Troubling Times
Skip Donahue
This filthy, roach-ridden reality is inspiring... What did that second policeman say to you when he grabbed you by the throat?
Harry Monroe
Man, I don't fucking believe you!
Skip Donahue
Man, I don't fucking believe you!" Fabulous!
Harry Monroe
You don't get it, do you, Skip? You think this is ] or something. We're in deep trouble. This is the real deal. We're in deep shit.
[[The Count of Monte Cristo]
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A Gentle Refusal for Evening Comforts
Frau Blücher
Would the doctor care for a...brandy before retiring?
Dr. Frankenstein
No. Thank you.
Frau Blücher
Some varm milk...perhaps?
Dr. Frankenstein
No...thank you very much. No thanks.
Frau Blücher
Ovaltine?
Dr. Frankenstein
NOTHING! Thank you! I'm a little - tired!
Frau Blücher
Then I vill say...goodnight, Herr Doctor.
Dr. Frankenstein
Goodnight, Frau Blücher.
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Embracing Nonsense for Wisdom's Sake
Willy Wonka
A little nonsense now and thenIs relished by the wisest men.
[sings]
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Preparing for Trouble in Uncertain Times
Skip Donahue
What are you doing?
Harry Monroe
I'm gettin bad. You better get bad, Jack. Cause if you ain't bad, you're gonna get fucked.
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A Humorous Exchange on Physical Attributes
Dr. Frankenstein
What knockers.
Inga
Oh, thank you, doctor.
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Misunderstanding Between Ship and Shit
Dave Lyons
Did she say ship, or shit?
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Unexpected Encounter in The Producers
Leo Bloom
You're gonna jump on me.
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A Powerful Exclamation of Change
Stanley
Rhinoceros!
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Authoritarian Claims in Creative Expression
Leo Bloom
Springtime for Hitler: A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden"... Wow...
[reading the title of the play for the first time]
Franz Liebekind
I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you!
Franz Liebekind
Adolf Elizabeth Hitler
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The Invention of Roller Skates Explained
Willy Wonka
If the good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates.
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Embracing Failure with Passionate Reactions
Dr. Frankenstein
Nothing.
[after failing to bring the creature to life]
Inga
Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.
Dr. Frankenstein
No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!
[begins walking away but then runs back and starts beating up the creature; furious]
Inga
Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!
Dr. Frankenstein
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE! I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE!
[pounds on the creatures chest in rage before being restrained; whimpers]
Igor
].
[to the audience; [Hypocrisy|Quiet dignity and grace; rolls eyes]
Dr. Frankenstein
Oh...mama...
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Train Without a Driver Raises Concerns
George Caldwell
Is there any way to get to the engine from here?
Ralston
There's no way to get to the engine at all. How come we're going so fast?
George Caldwell
There's nobody driving the train.
Ralston
Oh, that's impossible. The train would stop.
George Caldwell
Does it look like it is stopping to you?
Ralston
Sure in the hell don't. I'm gonna pull the emergency brake.
[looks out the window]
Grover Muldoon
The emergency brakes have been cut.
Ralston
Damn hippies!
[pauses]
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The Legacy of Music in the Blood
Dr. Frankenstein
That music......
Frau Blucher
Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the ] when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE was making.
[[soul]
Dr. Frankenstein
Then it was you all the time.
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
You played that music in the middle of the night......
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
to get us to the laboratory.
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
That was YOUR cigar smouldering in the ashtray.
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find.
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
So I would...
Frau Blucher
Yes.
Dr. Frankenstein
Then you and Victor were...
Frau Blucher
YES. YES. Say it. He was my... BOYFRIEND!
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Unexpected Competition Invitation and Personal Conflict
Warden Walter Beatty
You're gonna represent Glenboro prision in the annual Top Hand-competition. Congratulations!
Skip Donahue
Oh! Oh my god! Warden! I can't do that!
Warden Walter Beatty
What in the hell are you talking about...?
Skip Donahue
Well, I should have told you in your office! My mother was a veterinarian! I can't have anything to do with the exploatation of animals, she'd turn over in her grave!
Warden Walter Beatty
I don't believe you heard me correctly. This is very important to me!
Skip Donahue
Important to you? My mother is watching over every step I make! Do you know that my soul is on the line here...? So let's just drop... What? I said no. Whoa, I told him no! Ma, are you crazy? I have witnesses... All right, we'll talk about it in my cell! Uhm... I have to go to the bathroom. Would you excuse me, warden?
[looks up; looks at the warden; looks up at the sky again, and walks off]
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Reflections on Bathroom Etiquette and Family Advice
Igor
You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him. The things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frankenstein
What did he say?
Igor
What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?
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A Brief Conversation Between Friends
Dr. Frankenstein
Igor, may I speak to you for a moment?
Igor
Of course.
Dr. Frankenstein
Sit down, won't you?
Igor
Thank you.
[sits on the floor]
Dr. Frankenstein
No no, up here.
Igor
Thank you.
[sits on a chair]
Dr. Frankenstein
Now...that ] that you gave me...was it Hans Delbruck's?
[[brain]
Igor
No.
[crosses arms]
Dr. Frankenstein
Ah. Good. Uh...would you mind telling me...whose brain...I did put in?
[holds up hand]
Igor
And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frankenstein
I will not be angry.
Igor
Abby...someone.
[shrugs]
Dr. Frankenstein
Abby someone? Abby who?
Igor
Abby Normal.
Dr. Frankenstein
Abby Normal?
[sotto]
Igor
I'm almost sure that was the name.
[he and Dr. Frankenstein laugh]
Dr. Frankenstein
Are you saying... that I put an abnormal brain... into a 7 and a half foot long...54- inch wide... ]?!?!?! ]?!?!
[slowly; stands; puts hand on Igor's hump; increasingly angry; grabs Igor by throat; [Gorilla|GORILLA; strangling Igor; [Stupidity|IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME]
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Defiance Against Conformity
Stanley
I will not submit!
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A Lighthearted Take on Difficult Tasks
Dr. Frankenstein
What a filthy job!
Igor
Could be worse.
Dr. Frankenstein
How?
Igor
Could be raining.
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