Memorable Quotes from Geoffrey Palmer
3 quotesGPS Signals and Military Concerns
Admiral Roebuck
That's preposterous! We know exactly where that ship was positioned! The GPS system–Global Positioning Satellites–do not lie!
M
Yes, but our Singapore station picked up a mysterious signal - on the GPS frequency at the time of the attack. It could have sent that ship off course.
Roebuck
I have a missing British frigate-
M
I'm aware of that!
Roebuck
And instead of decisive action, all you want to do is-
M
My goal is to prevent World War III, Admiral, and I don't think sending an armada into the recovery area is the best way to do it.
Defense Minister
Where exactly did this mysterious GPS signal come from?
M
We're still investigating.
Roebuck
Investigating". With all due respect, M, sometimes I don't think you have the balls for this job!
M
Perhaps. But the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time.
Defense Minister
That's enough. Now where do we stand?
Roebuck
It was an unprovoked attack held in international waters. We send in the fleet for recovery and prepare for full retaliation!
M
Moderation. We investigate and stop short of sending the entire British Navy within 10 minutes of the world's largest air force.
Defense Minister
When will our ships be in position?
Roebuck
48 hours.
Defense Minister
Christ. The press are already screaming for blood; the last thing we want to do is escalate the situation.
James Bond
I'm afraid it may be too late to worry about that.
[arrives with a copy of the'' Tomorrow ''newspaper]
Defense Minister
Seventeen British sailors murdered"?! "According to Vietnamese officials who recovered the bodies, the victims were riddled with the same ammunition used by the Chinese Air Force.
[reads the paper]
M
Did you leak this?
Roebuck
No! This is the first I've heard of it.
Defense Minister
Well, this settles it: We send in the fleet. M, you have 48 hours to investigate.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Alibi in a Legal Inquiry
Archie
Ms Gershwitz, do you remember where you were on the evening of the 7th?
Wanda
Yes, I was at the apartment.
Archie
And were you alone or was someone else there?
Wanda
No someone else was there.
Archie
And who was that?
Wanda
My brother.
Archie
Your brother, good and your brother? Are you sure it was your brother?
[stumbling]
Judge
Mr. Leach I'm sure Ms. Gershwitz can recognize her own brother, after all she's had a relationship with him her whole life.
Archie
Yes, sorry your honour. Well, was anybody else there with you?
Wanda
Yes George was there. But he left about five to seven.
[adds]
Archie
Wanda! I wonder, how could you be sure it was five to seven?
[remembering himself]
Wanda
Because I looked at the clock. I remember looking at the clock and thinking, where could George be going with that sawn off shotgun?
Archie
Darling!
Judge
Mr. Leach, "Darling"?
Archie
Yes, dear?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inappropriate Medical Procedures Discussed Humorously
Conchita
I don't care how low he is doctor, that was no place to stick your thermometer.
The Doctor
Well obviously he doesn't have a proper tongue - or an armpit, come to that...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.