Memorable Quotes from George Burns
39 quotesThe Nature of Existence and Identity
God
Nobody's ].
[[perfect]
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Reflecting on Creation's Complexity
God
]. That was a ]. I should have made the whole thing a little easier.
[[Mathematics; [mistake]
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God's Solitude and Presence
God
When I ], there's no one around to ] me.
[[sneeze; [bless]
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A Conversation About Divine Communication
Jerry Landers
You ] me to tell people I've ] with ]?
[[want; [spoken; [#God|God]
God
Yes.
[''speaking through Jerry's car radio'']
Jerry Landers
They'll put me away.
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Reflections on Age and Life's Surprises
God
I'll tell ya something never came out: I made ] seventeen. ] was fifteen—sixteen, tops. I figured then sixteen, seventeen was middle aged, you know. Who knew ] would ] so long? ] I figured had the best ]. Now I ] they were ]—]. ] people can't fall from my ]; they're my best things. ] that down.
[[Adam; [Eve; [humans|people; [live; [Trees; [chance; [realise; [kids; [babies; [Young; [grace; [Write|Put]
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Divine Frustration with Humanity's Chaos
God
What a mess. Every time ] look down there, it gets worse. Maybe I oughta stop looking down. Millions of ], and that one's always been a ]. Why that one? I know why: ]. I had to put people on it. Maybe I oughta go down there and ] around. I gotta do something. Let's see, um…] strikes] Please, not now, I'm ]!
[''looking at [[Earth; [God|I; [planets; [problem; [people; [look; ''[[lightning; [thinking]
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Faith and Change in Difficult Times
God
I know how hard it is in these times to have faith. But maybe if you could have the faith to start with, maybe the times would change. You could change them. Think about it. Try. And try not to hurt each other. There's been enough of that. It really gets in the way. I'm a God of very few words and Jerry's already given you Mine. However hopeless, helpless, mixed up and scary it all gets, it can work.
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Shared Belonging Beyond Labels
Jerry Landers
I don't belong to any ]!
[[church]
God
Neither do I.
[''speaking through an intercom'']
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Understanding the Nature of Divinity
God
I don't like to brag, but if I ] to you just as God—how I ] am, what I really am—, your ] couldn't grasp it.
[[appeared; [really; [mind]
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Understanding Divine Identity and Existence
God
] Me, like it says on the ].
[[Trust; [money]
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Divine Perspective on Human Challenges
God
They gave ] a pretty hard time.
[[prophets|some of my best people]
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Divine Responsibility and Human Choice
Jerry Landers
You don't ] our ]?!
[[control; [lives]
God
I ] you a ] and everything in it. It's all up to ].
[[gave; [world; [people|you]
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God's Perspective on Miracles and Flashiness
God
I don't do ]. They're too flashy. And they upset the ] ]. … The last ] I did was the ]. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea. That was a beauty.
[[miracles; [natural; [balance; [miracle; [1969 Mets]
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Seeking Assistance in Challenging Times
God
] need all the help I can get.
[[God|I]
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God's Perspective on Relationships and Choices
God
It's a ] of Mine: I ] not to ] with more than one ] at a ].
[[policy; [try; [work; [saviour; [time]
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Divine Perspective on Mistakes and Creation
God
] was one of My big ].
[''speaking through an intercom''; [Tobacco; [mistakes]
Jerry Landers
Mistakes?
God
You ]. ] were a mistake. ]-] things. Avocados, made the pit too big. Like I ], you try.
[[try; [Ostriches; [Silly; [appearing|looking; [say]
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A Reflection on Divine Communication
God
] to ], I didn't.
[[Honest; [God|me]
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Responsibility for Suffering Lies with Humanity
Jerry Landers
How can You permit all the suffering that goes on in the ]?
[[world]
God
Ah, how can I permit the suffering?
Jerry Landers
Yeah!
God
I don't permit the suffering, you do. ]. All the ] are yours.
[[Free will|Free ''will''; [choices]
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Divine Connection to Humanity Explained
God
] was My ]. ] was My son. ], ], you, the ] who ] there was no room at the inn was My son.
[[Jesus; [son; [Buddha; [Muhammad; [Moses; [man; [said]
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Divine Perspective on Human Understanding
God
*See also: ].
[[faith]
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The Importance of Setting Deadlines
God
] ], if you don't set deadlines, ] happens.
[[God|I; [say; [nothing]
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Divine Presence in Everyday Life
God
]'m not always on ].
[[God|I; [cloud nine]
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Divine Perspective on Human Nature
God
*See also: ].
[[meaning of life]
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The Significance of Bananas in Life
God
Bananas." I ] that expression. I make a ], and people use it for "].
[[hate; [bananas|beautiful fruit; [crazy]
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Divine Conversation Between God and Jerry Landers
God
Last ].
[[question]
Jerry Landers
] ]!
[[Thank; [God]
God
You're ].
[[welcome]
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Divine Authority and Human Inquiry
God
Well, you're not allowed to ] Me.
[''speaking through an intercom''; [see]
Jerry Landers
Why not.
God
Because.
Jerry Landers
Thats no ].
[[answer]
God
] Me.
[[lawsuit|Sue]
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Divine Guidance on Commitment
God
] don't take off for ].
[[God|I; [spelling]
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Questioning Existence and Purpose
God
] ] the ] and ] why ] did it.
[[People; [remember; [miracle; [forget; [God|I]
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Frequency of Conversations with the Divine
God
How often do you ] with God?
[''speaking through an intercom''; [talk]
Jerry Landers
Practically ].
[[never]
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The Nature of Divine Influence
God
I only ] what ]. Also, I'm very big on what ]. On what ], I haven't got a ].
[[know; [present|is; [past|was; [future|''isn't'' yet; [clue]
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Questioning Beliefs and Divine Existence
Jerry Landers
I don't ] the Red Sea, and I don't believe ].
[[believe; [creationism|six days to create the world]
God
You're right.
Jerry Landers
I am?
God
Tell you the ] ], I ] about it for five ] and did the whole ] in ].
[[honest; [truth; [thought; [days; [job; [one]
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The Nature of Human Shame and Understanding
God
Come take a ].
[[look]
Jerry Landers
I can't. I'm ].
[[naked]
God
You think ] don't ] what you got? That was another little goof of Mine: ]. I don't know why I ] we ] shame.
[[#God|I; [know; [shame; [thought; [needed]
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Perception and Understanding of Human Nature
God
] down that ]—and ] persons—their ] ] ] and ], not more, not one tiny bit less, just what they ] it means, and what ] think doesn't count at all.
[[Write|Put; [man; [women; [existence; [means; [exactly; [precisely; [think; [God|I]
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Embracing Individuality and Originality
God
But, ], I don't want you to think I'm ], but, let's face it: ]'m an original, the ] and only. I made my own mould and threw it away.
[[#Tracy Richards|Tracy; [bragging; [God|I; [one]
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Divine Encouragement in Challenging Situations
God
You can do it, it's only one message. ] had to handle ].
[''speaking through Jerry's car radio''; [Moses; [The Bible#The Ten Commandments|ten]
Jerry Landers
B-but You gave him tablets.
God
He had a bad ].
[[memory]
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Divine Truth in Courtroom Dialogue
Court Clerk
You ] to tell the ], the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
[[swear; [truth]
God
So help Me, ].
[[God|Me]
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Belief in Each Other's Existence
God
If you find it ] to ] in Me, maybe it would ] you to ] that I believe in you.
[[difficult|hard; [believe; [help; [know]
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Miscommunication Between God and Jerry
God
Jerry. Do you ] Me to ] louder?
[''speaking through Jerry's car radio''; ''Jerry, surprised, begins fiddling with the nobs''; [want; [talk]
Jerry Landers
Oh, God!
God
I thought you didn't ] in Me.
[[believe]
Jerry Landers
Uh…that's just an expression.
God
I'm more than that, and I want you to spread the ].
[[word]
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Questioning the Identity of the Divine
Jerry Landers
Who are You?
God
You ] the note.
[''speaking through an intercom''; [read]
Jerry Landers
Who's that, Artie?
God
].
[[God]
Jerry Landers
Come on, Artie.
God
No, it's Me, God.
Jerry Landers
God.
God
Right, God. God Almighty. Big G.
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