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Gillian Jacobs Quotes

Actor

Memorable Quotes from Gillian Jacobs

4 quotes
Walk of Shame
Confrontation Over Trust and Protection
Rose You better be telling the truth, ], because I will out-psycho you. And if you hurt Meghan, I will reign fucking fury down on you.
[[w:psychopathy|psycho]
Gordon Relax. Where do you live?
Rose Where the fuck is that?
Gordon It's downtown near the ].
[[w:Sixth Street Viaduct|Sixth Street bridge]
Rose People live there?
Gordon Yeah. I do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Walk of Shame
A Night Out with Friends
Rose I can't wait to get my drink on. And get my dance on. And... Just those two things. Denise.
Denise What?
Rose Meghan. Meghan! Meghan Miles. Either she's not home or she's ignoring us.
Denise Or she's incapacitated, tied up... or maybe she had a stroke or a seizure or something.
Rose Denise, this is ]. Nothing bad ever happens in Brent... Oh, my God, O.J. Simpson. I just remembered that. Yeah.
[[w:Brentwood, Los Angeles|Brentwood]
Denise Meghan! It's open.
Rose Honey, you are not back on the farm in ]. You cannot just leave your door unlocked.
[[w:Texas|Texas]
Meghan Hey, party girls. What's up? What do you want to drink? I have tap water. Wait.
Rose Wait, what's going on? Where's Kyle?
Meghan He's at the supermarket.
Rose And, um, where's all your stuff?
Meghan Oh. Um... Kyle took it all to the supermarket. The supermercado. He's gone. He, um... He said he didn't know who I was anymore, and then he left and he took everything.
Rose That's so weird. When is he coming back? Why did you not tell us?
Meghan I don't know. I'm sorry. Rosie, I just...
Rose Yeah, but, honey, we're your friends. We're not gonna judge you.
Meghan Hang on. It's Dan.
Boss Meghan, don't freak out, but they're going with Wendy Chang. Meghan, are you okay?
Meghan Chang!
Denise This is such a terrible time for Kyle to not be here.
Rose Denise, shut up.
Meghan They gave it to Wendy Chang. She's an anchor in San Francisco.
Rose There you go, honey. That's a diversity hire. Asian. What can you do about that?
Meghan She's not even Asian. She's adopted. She has red fucking hair. I'm sorry. That was mean. Good for her. No.
Rose Screw Chang. You are the best.
Denise Yeah. No one reads the news like you, Meghan.
Rose We're going to sit down and come up with a plan to fix your life. Okay, guys, no more pity party.
Meghan It's fine.So go. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna stay here and catch up on ].
[[w:American Idol|Idol]
Rose No! We're not gonna leave you here. You don't even have your dog.
Meghan Technically, it was Kyle's dog.
Denise Who cares? Forget it. Get a cat.
Meghan Ew. That's gross. Cats hate me.You know that.
Denise People say cats are clean, but they're really filthy.
Meghan I am sorry, okay? Whatever.
Rose I'm gonna take you to a club, you're gonna meet some young stupid hot guy, and ].
[[w:misandry|you're gonna take all your anger and aggression out on his penis]
Meghan I don't know, I don't do that with penises. I'm more of ].
[[w:Courtship|a relationship type of girl]
Rose We're taking you out. Come on. Let's go.
Denise Fine, but I'm wearing these sweatpants.
Rose No. You're gonna wear something slutty, like Denise.
Denise I don't own anything slutty like Denise.
Rose Denise, give Meghan your dress.
Denise But...
Rose No buts. You can wear one of her pantsuits.
Denise Ew. Ew.
Meghan Why is it so loud in here?
Rose Isn't it great? This is what you need.
Meghan Shots time. Already?
Rose Yup, that's right. Throw it back. Unless you're too soft.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Walk of Shame
Testing Comfort in Social Situations
Rose Denise, four-point douche test. Go.
Gordon What?
Denise Have you ever been to a ]?
[[w:strip club|strip club]
Gordon Yes, but they make me uncomfortable.
Denise What do you call your penis?
Gordon My penis.
Denise That's hot.
Rose Denise, Focus.
Denise Sorry. How do you feel about ]?
[[w:Robert Pattinson|Robert Pattinson]
Gordon Not my favorite actor.
Denise You shut your mouth.
Gordon Okay.
Denise Can I get a "whoop, whoop"?
Gordon Whoop, whoop.
Denise No. Don't ever do that again.
Denise ]?
[[w:Fuck, marry, kill|Kill an innocent dog or cheat on your girlfriend]
Gordon Cheat on my girlfriend. I'm not going to kill an innocent dog. That's sick.
Denise You passed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Walk of Shame
Media Infiltration and Misunderstanding Unveiled
Sergeant Dave Ma'am, did you see a woman in a yellow dress get on that helicopter?
Denise I saw Meghan Miles, undercover investigator for KZLA, get on a helicopter.
Officer Walter Wait. The woman we're chasing is just a reporter? Dear God, it's worse than we ever imagined. The hooker has infiltrated the media, where she's posing as KZLA's Meghan Miles.
Denise What do you mean, she's infiltrated the media?
Rose So, you're saying that our best friend Meghan is an undercover hooker?
Officer Walter It looks that way.
Sergeant Dave So, you have an idiot friend too?
Rose Yeah. Mine's by choice. You got stuck with this guy, right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.