Ice Cube Quotes

21 Jump Street

Infiltration Strategy and Brotherhood Discussion

Captain Dickson The mission is this: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.

Jenko We get to be brothers?

Captain Dickson Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!

[slams desk]

Jenko But if you find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.

Captain Dickson Goddamn.

Captain Dickson Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

21 Jump Street

Korean Jesus and His Busy Schedule

Captain Dickson Hey, hey! Stop fuckin with Korean Jesus. He ain't got time for yo problems, he's busy wit Korean shit!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boyz n the Hood

Miscommunication in a Tense Exchange

Doughboy Ho's gotta eat too.

Shalika Who you callin a ho', I ain't no ho'.

Doughboy Oops, I'm sorry, bitch.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

21 Jump Street

Unexpected College Assignment for the Duo

Captain Dickson New assignment. Since you two boys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.

Jenko Oh, I love Disneyland!

Captain Dickson You two sons of bitches are going to college!

Schmidt Yes!

Jenko No!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boyz n the Hood

Conversations on Relationships and Risks

Doughboy Yeah, I heard you been gettin that dope-head pussy. See, me, I probably get more pussy than you get air with yo wannabe macdaddy ass.

Dooky You don't know what I be getting. I don't be fucking no dopeheads. I let them suck my dick. Shit, they got AIDS and shit.

Monster Stupid motherfucker, don't you know you can catch that shit from letting them suck on your dick?

Doughboy Thank you.

Dooky See. I ain't sick. I ain't all skinny and shit.

Chris Nigga, what you mean you ain't skinny. Motherfucker so skinny he can hula hoop through a Cheerio. Nigga, you ain't got to be skinny. You can die from that shit years from now.

Dooky Y'all just trying to scare me. For real, you can die from letting them suck on your dick?

Doughboy Mark.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Are We Done Yet?

Problem-Solving Attitude in Home Improvement

Nick Persons I can fix that.

[repeated line]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Friday

Different Terms for the Same Thing

Pastor Clever Scuse me brother. What we call drugs at 74th street Baptist church, we call a sinny-sin-sin.

[upon seeing Smokey rolling a joint]

Smokey Well round here, between Normandine and the Western, we call this here a little twenty-twen-twen!

Craig Well..

Smokey Niggaaaa!

Pastor Clever Why don't you give me a bit for my cataracts?

Smokey You didn't put in on this, man.

Pastor Clever It's better to give than receive, my brother.

Craig Jones Look, look, she's bendin over!

[points across the street to Mrs. Parker]

Pastor Clever Lord have mercy! The Lord is my shepherd, He know what I want! Excuse me, brothers. (running across the street) Mrs. Parker! Mrs. Parker!

Smokey Told you. The weed be lettin you know, where evil lurks.

[he holds up a pack of marajuana]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Cultural Misunderstanding in Religious Context

Captain Dickson Fuck a 21 Jump Street & *FUCK* a Korean Jesus!

Jenko Captain, Korean Jesus is right there!

[pointing across the room to the statue of Jesus]

Captain Dickson That's Vietnamese Jesus now. See, this is a Vietnamese church, you racist sacrilegious sack of shit!

Captain Dickson Yeah, Vietnamese Jesus is just droppin swag-goo!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Unexpected Introductions in a Family Setting

Captain Dickson How do you know this person?

[sees Schmidt dating his daughter Maya]

Maya Dad, this is Doug, he's a guy I'm dating.

Captain Dickson What the fuck?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Tension Between Officers Escalates in Scene

Captain Dickson Jenko, what are you doing, man?

Jenko Fuck you, Schmidt!

Captain Dickson Stop dicking around!

Jenko Hey, captain!

Captain Dickson Congratulations, you two. You managed to unfuck a situation you originally already fucked up!

Schmidt Thanks!

Captain Dickson I wish I could have you unfuck my daughter, but I'ma let that be the past.

[talking to Schmidt]

Captain Dickson Now, for your next mission, you two sons of bitches going to medical school!

[talking to Schmidt and Jenko]

Jenko What?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boyz n the Hood

Friendship and Rivalry in Urban Life

Doughboy I heard you like Mr. GQ Smooth now. You working over at the Fox Hills Mall?

Tre Styles I get a discount on clothes, and shit. You like?

Doughboy Nigga, you look like you selling rocks!

Chris Yo, Tre you be slinging that shit?

Tre Styles No, I don't sell that shit!

Doughboy You couldn't anyway! Pops will kick yo ass! You know I'm out the pen. I'm gon keep my ass out this time.

Tre Styles That's what we're here to celebrate, right? Damn, brother how did you get so big?

Doughboy Pumping iron, and eating. Ain't nothing else to do in the motherfucking pen. Three hots, and a cot, know what I'm saying? I was also reading, and writing my girl.

Monster You read?

Doughboy Yeah nigga, I ain't no criminal! I can read, bitch!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Jump Street's Bold Approach to Law Enforcement

Captain Dickson We Jump Street, and we bout to jump in yo ass.

Jenko Mmmm-hmmm.

Schmidt Right in the crack.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boyz n the Hood

Indifference to Struggles in the Hood

Doughboy Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood. They had all this foreign shit. They didn't have shit on my brother, man.

[about TV news coverage]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

An Unconventional Meeting at a Party

Mrs. Dickson So, how did you and Doug meet?

Maya We met at a party and then he stalked me to my dorm room.

Captain Dickson Stalked you? And then what happened?

Maya Then, we hung out and watched a movie.

Maya Actually, we watched it a couple times.

[pause for a second]

Captain Dickson This is bullshit! Waiter, can a black man get some water?

Schmidt Someone get the fucking man some water. He's black, he's been through a lot!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Are We Done Yet?

Pregnancy Announcement in a Busy Moment

Nick Persons Pregnant lady coming through!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Friday

Betrayal Among Friends in a Tough Situation

Red Man, why y'all didn't help me?!

Smokey Man, I'm high.

Red Man, that's fucked up! If that were y'all, I woulda helped y'all.

Craig What bout the time he tried to choke me in Smoke's backyard?

Smokey Yeah?

Red Oh, that was different.

[thinks about it for a second]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Bizarre Conversations Among Friends and Authority

Schmidt I just wanna say that it was bizarre not to share the fact that your daughter went to MC State...

Captain Dickson I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfuckin nuts off.

Jenko What if, Captain gets to punch you in the face, one time? Really, really, REALLY hard?

[to Schmidt]

Captain Dickson Nah, I've got something WAY better than that.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

21 Jump Street

Professionalism and Boundaries in Law Enforcement

Captain Dickson That's you, man. Don't do it. Keep that dirty dick inside your pants. Don't fuck no students, don't fuck no teachers...

[going over the rule of not having sexual relations with teachers or students; to Jenko]

Schmidt Sir, I know we may look like a couple of lady-killers, but me and my partner will be super professional...

Captain Dickson Clearly I wasn't talking to you, big-titties. You cherub-looking motherfucker. I was talking to your partner, fake-ass Handsome McGee here. When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say, "shut the fuck up," I'm talking to you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Three Kings

Betting on a Nonexistent Convertible

Troy Barlow I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.

Chief Elgin I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.

Barlow I'll bet you a Lexus they do.

Elgin Alright, but it won't be a convertible.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boyz n the Hood

Tension Escalates Among Friends at the Club

Ferris Fuck you looking at, nigga?

Ricky I'm still trying to find out, Nigga!

Doughboy What? We got a problem here? We got a problem?

[shows gun]

Knucklehead #2 Put the gun away, nigga.

Female Club Member Can we have one night where there ain't no fightin'; nobody gets shot?

Doughboy Shut up, bitch!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Friday

Unexpected Unemployment and Casual Greetings

Smokey Sup, man?

Craig Wassup.

Smokey Why ain't you at work?

Craig I got fired yesterday.

Smokey Fo real?! I thought you had the day off yesterday.

Craig I did. Went in there pick up my check. Came home. Supervisor called me about 4 o'clock. Talking about they got me on video tape stealing boxes.

Smokey The fuck you doin stealin boxes for? What, you trying to build a clubhouse? Man, I know you didn't go out like that.

Craig Hell, no, ain't got me on tape. But they said they did. Fired me on the spot. Talkin about pressin charges.

Smokey Goddamn! You've got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Friday

Tension Over Broken Curtains and Threats

Smokey Break yourself, foo'!

[rips curtain]

Craig Look what you did to my curtain! You better watch whose window you be sneaking in before you get blasted on.

Smokey With what? You ain't got nothing, man!

Craig With this.

[pulls out a gun and sticks it in Smokey's face]

Smokey Man, where'd you get that from?

Craig Your mama.

Smokey Fuck you.

Craig Fuck you.

Smokey Come on outside, man, and stop playing.

Craig (laughs) gotta get dressed.

Smokey Hurry up.

Craig Don't tell me to hurry up.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Three Kings

Tent Confusion Among Soldiers

Archie Gates Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?

Chief Elgin No, sir.

Gates Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the nose and throat tent.

Troy Barlow Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.

Gates Captain of proctologists?

Conrad Vig What's a proctologist, sir?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Three Kings

Casual Banter Among Characters

Troy Barlow Conrad, you've washed your hands like ten times.

Conrad Vig Lord knows what kind of vermin live in the butt of a Dune Coon.

Chief Elgin Why do you let this cracker hang around with you, man?

Barlow He's all right, man. He's from a group home in Dallas. He's got no high school.

Vig Don't tell people that.

Elgin I don't care if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear Dune Coon or Sand Nigger from him or anybody else.

Vig Captain uses those terms.

Barlow That's not the point, Conrad. The point is that Towel Head and Camel Jockey are perfectly good substitutes.

Elgin Exactly!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

22 Jump Street

Addressing the Unspoken Issues

Captain Dickson Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here.

Captain Dickson & pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.

Jenko What the fuck is going on?

[confused]

Captain Dickson *This* is what the fuck is going on!

[turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Maya]

Jenko OH SHIT! Oh, shit!

[looks at the picture confused, looks at Schmidt, then back at the picture as he realizes]

Jenko Oh, shit! No! That is not happening right now!

Jenko No!

Jenko Hey, y'all. He's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK!

Captain Dickson Every time, he says that shit? That's another foot in your ass!

[as Jenko is laughing outside office, to Schmidt]

Jenko Schmidt! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever!

[outside office]

Jenko Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!

Jenko Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!

Jenko Shit! Fuck!

[re-enters office]

Jenko You fucked the captain's daughter? Captain? What the fuck, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face, the captain, do you understand that *this face?*

Jenko right here! You bragged to that face!

Jenko You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter? Holy shit! Oh my God, this is...

[to Captain Dickson]

Jenko It's really not that funny.

[composing himself]

Friday

A Brief Exchange Between Mr. Jones and Craig

Mr. Jones Craig.

Craig What?

Mr. Jones Come in here.

Craig Where you at?

Mr. Jones In the bathroom.

Craig Aw, man, I'll wait until you come out.

Mr. Jones Boy, bring your ass up in here. What you talkin bout, you wait til I come out? I smelled your shit for 22 years; now you can't smell mine for 5 minutes? Shut the door. (grunts; plopping sound) Now, your mama told me what happened to you yesterday.

Craig What?

Mr. Jones That was stupid. How the hell you gonna get fired on your day off?

Craig I don't know.

Mr. Jones Well, you need a trade. Look at that there, over there on the c-c-- On the counter there.

[grunts; another plopping sound; grunts; groans]

Craig I ain't trying to be no dog-catcher!

Mr. Jones Why not?

Craig I don't even like dogs.

Mr. Jones That's the beauty of it. I grab a dog, and I choke him, and I kick the shit out of him! All day long, my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang-bang-bang up his ass! That's my pleasure.

Craig No thanks.

Mr. Jones Well, I'll tell you one thing. Round here, you go to work, you go to school. First of the month, the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin on the table, you ain't gotta worry about catchin a dog. You gotta worry about a dog catchin your ass!

Friday

Discussion on Protection and Responsibility

Mr. Jones What's that for?

Craig Protection.

Mr. Jones Protection? Protection from who?

Craig Me and Smoke... I've got to walk Smokey down to his house.

Mr. Jones Aw, man. Your mother and I never would've moved to this neighborhood if we'd known you need a gun to walk down the damn street.

Craig You know how it is round here.

Mr. Jones Oh, no, son. That's not the way it is. You kids have been nothin but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. Too scared to take an ass-whipping. This is what makes you a man. When I was growing up, this was all the protection we needed. You win some, you lose some. But you live. You live to fight another day. Now you think you're a man with that gun in your hand, don't you?

[raises his fists]

Craig I'm a man without it.

Mr. Jones Put the gun down.

Mr. Jones C'mon, put up your dukes.

Mr. Jones Now you're a man. Your uncle picked up a gun, too. He found out the hard way. 22 years old. You've got a choice. This is all you need, alright?

Boyz n the Hood

Discussion of Popular Hangout Spots

Chris I tell y'all where y'all need to go, where they got more women than anywhere. Fine ones, too.

Monster Crenshaw, Sunday nights?

Chris Nope.

Doughboy Street racers on Florence?

Chris Nah, nigga. Y'all way off. I give y'all a hint: everybody's been there.

Monster Where?

Doughboy Where, nigga? Spit it out.

Chris The church.

Doughboy Aw, shit. Nigga, please. Ain't nobody going to church to catch no bitches. I should roll your ass up off this porch with that stupid shit.

21 Jump Street

Youthful Appearance and Underlying Realities

Captain Dickson You are here simply because you look young. You some ], ]-lookin motherfuckers.

[[Justin Bieber; [Miley Cyrus]

21 Jump Street

Discussion of Racial Perspectives in Society

Captain Dickson He's white, that means people actually give shit.

Schmidt Um, I would just like to say that I would give a shit if he were black.

22 Jump Street

Misunderstandings and Tensions in the Team

Jenko I'm really, really glad you're back, Schmidt.

Schmidt What are you talking about? What contract dispute? I have been here the whole time.

Captain Dickson Hey, shut the fuck up! How about a flight academy?

22 Jump Street

New Assignment Announcement by Captain Dickson

Captain Dickson New assignment...

22 Jump Street

Exchange Students in Russia Adventure

Captain Dickson This time, foreign exchange students!

Schmidt Awesome!

Jenko Yes!

Captain Dickson In Russia!

Jenko What?

Boyz n the Hood

Conflict and Accusation Between Characters

Ferris Fuck you man! Fuck you!

Doughboy Turn your punk-ass over!

Ferris I didn't do it man! I didn't pull the fuckin trigger! What the fuck you doin? Oh, man! Well, fuck you!

[Rolls over; ''Doughboy shoots Ferris twice'']

Boyz n the Hood

Gendered Language in Conversations About Women

Shalika Why is it every time you talk about a female you gotta say bitch, ho, or hootchie?

Doughboy Cause that's what you are.

21 Jump Street

Questioning Intelligence in a Challenging Situation

Captain Dickson Who made this? Are you autistic?

Memorable Quotes from Ice Cube

find it. watch it.