Memorable Quotes from Ilfenesh Hadera
2 quotesOfficially Graduated from Trainees to Lifeguards
Mitch Buchannon
Uh, guys, after finding the drugs, helping save Chen and helping me blow up the bad girl with a Roman candle, it's a pleasure to say you are officially no longer trainees.
CJ Parker
Whoo!
Mitch Buchannon
Congratulations!
CJ Parker
Yeah, guys.
Mitch Buchannon
Hey, guys, one more important thing. I want to introduce you to our new captain who has been running our Hawaii division very successfully for years now: the amazing Captain Casey Jean.
Ronnie Greenbaum
Is it just me, or is she in...
Stephanie Holden
Super slow motion?
Summer Quinn
Yeah.
CJ Parker
Wow. This is gonna take a while.
[dryly]
Mitch Buchannon
That's how we roll.
[winks]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Team Introduction at Baywatch Qualifiers
Mitch Buchannon
Hey, fresh face. You here for the qualifiers?
Matt Brody
Uh, no, no, I'm not trying out. I'm actually already on the team.
Mitch Buchannon
You're already on this team?
Matt Brody
I'm Matt Brody. Ready for duty.
Mitch Buchannon
Ready for duty"? Oh, okay. Um, you got any papers or anything like that?
Matt Brody
I do. There you go.
Mitch Buchannon
Oh, it's a permission slip. Literally. "Dear Mitch, I am pleased to write you on behalf of Mr. Matt Brody." Right. Well, no free passes.
Matt Brody
Yeah. Whoa.
Mitch Buchannon
At all. Yeah, cause I don't give a shit.
Matt Brody
I legit needed those for my taxes.
Mitch Buchannon
What you need is to understand that if you're going to be on this team, you got to earn it.
Matt Brody
Really?
Mitch Buchannon
Yeah. So, why don't we start this whole thing over, just like gentlemen? Where you from, ]?
[[w:One Direction|One Direction]
Matt Brody
Um... Iowa? Iowa? You heard of it?
Mitch Buchannon
Yeah, I know what it is. Hey, Steph.
Stephanie Holden
Hey.
Mitch Buchannon
] here is from Iowa.
[[w:New Kids on the Block|New Kids on the Block]
Stephanie Holden
Oh, man.
Mitch Buchannon
And, uh, he says he's already on the team. Yeah. Doesn't have to try out.
Stephanie Holden
Really?
Mitch Buchannon
Yeah, absolutely. Let me ask you this...A lot of oceans in Iowa?
Stephanie Holden
No, just ponds and lakes and cocky pretty boys, apparently.
Mitch Buchannon
Uh-huh. Cocky pretty boys.
Stephanie Holden
Hey, Mitch, what happened to that last pretty boy recruit we had?
Mitch Buchannon
He died.
Stephanie Holden
R.I.P.
Matt Brody
Are you guys being serious right now? I honestly can't tell. You show up here, matching bathing suits. What is this, "lifeguard hazing"? I'm Matt Brody. I hold the world record in the 200 meter. Two gold medals.
Mitch Buchannon
Hey! Matt Brody.
Stephanie Holden
Matt Brody.
Mitch Buchannon
Yes, yes. Absolutely. And we still don't give a fuck.
Stephanie Holden
Don't give a fuck.
Mitch Buchannon
No, fresh out.
Stephanie Holden
Fresh out of fucks.
Mitch Buchannon
Yeah. Okay, that ocean out there has riptides that'll tear your little mangina in two.
Matt Brody
My mangina? So you are being serious.
Mitch Buchannon
Dead serious, right now, ], all right? This ain't no little fucking pond out of Iowa. So with all due respect, you want to be here on this team, on our team, you're gonna have to earn it.
[[w:NSYNC|NSYNC]
Matt Brody
Look, I get it. You're big, sasquatch. But I'm fast. Really fucking fast. Which is why somebody important thinks I belong here. So when you two figure out who the fuck I am, you can find me on the beach. See you.
[slaps Mitch's face lightly]
Stephanie Holden
Did that really just happen?
Mitch Buchannon
It did. He slapped me.
Stephanie Holden
Wow.
Mitch Buchannon
Yeah. His hands were soft and supple though, like a woman. No offense.
Stephanie Holden
None taken.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.