J.T. WalshQuotes

Ed Axley: Coach?

Pete Bell: Yeah.

Ed Axley: Uh, I gotta ask this question or I wouldn't be doing my job. Would you care to comment on the rumor that you arranged for an automobile to be purchased for Neon Bodeaux?

Pete Bell: [pauses for a moment; nervous laughter from the press] Y'know, uh, y'know, Ed, you gotta get your mind outta the gutter. You know, you, you just gotta start thinking straight! I mean, it's right there in front of you! For crissake, it wasn't an automobile, I mean, it was a fully loaded Lexus! The damn car had everything. It had everything, didn't it Happy? It was fully loaded, wasn't it?

Happy: No, no, Coach, it was a nuclear surfboard, remember?

Pete Bell: Y'know, and the damn thing of it is, Ed, is that, you know Neon, he didn't want it. He didn't want the car, he didn't want it. He didn't ask for anything. But, y'know, he wasn't for sale. But we, we got it for him anyway. I mean, and I think, personally, that it would've been a helluva deal, a good price. I mean, uh, I mean, what did Neon do tonight, does anybody know? How many boards did Neon have tonight?

Journalist: Thirteen.

Pete Bell: [more nervous laughing from the crowd] Thirteen? Thirteen boards? Well, there you are. It would have been a helluva deal. Can you imagine? Can you imagine what Neon would've done if we'd have tried to give him a Ferrari? I mean, for crissake! He might have scored forty or fifty points! I mean, who knows? Who knows what he would have done for a Ferrari? Naw, y'know Neon, he, he didn't take anything. He didn't want anything. Some of the others did, didn't they Happy?

Pete Bell: What, wasn't there some of the other kids, what'd we give em? What? Cars? Tractors? Gave a kid a tractor? Another kid we gave a house. Didn't we give him a house? You know, bags of cash, I don't know what we gave these kids...You know, they asked for things, we gave it to em. I mean, you guys asked me to win, and I gave that to you! Right? And the Alumni are all jerking off over this win, which is the only time the Alumni ever jerk off, right? It's when we win. Cause this ain't about education! It ain't much about winning, and it sure as hell ain't much about basketball! It's about money! Just goddamned money! That's what it's about, Ed. And I bought into it. I bought into it big time. I'm a big part of the problem.

Happy: [security guards and Happy's buddies start moving him toward the exit; Happy gets hustled out the door] Stick a fork in this creep because he's done! He's dead meat! You're finished! You will never coach in America again, you got that? Why don't you try Bulgaria? I hear they're looking for wimps like you! Whiners! No, goddamn it! Get your hands off me! I can walk! Loser! You lost 3 years in a row! I gave you everything you wanted, you creep! Let go of me, goddamn it!

Pete Bell: There goes Happy, heading for the cash machine! Oh yeah, he's gonna get himself another linebacker! That guy's got the best players money can buy! The best players money can buy!

Frank Griffith: [to Bridget] Anyone check you for a heartbeat recently?

David/Bud: I've got something to say!

Big Bob: Very well.

David/Bud: [[sex; [danger] You don't have a right to do this. I mean, I know you want it to stay pleasant around here, but — there are so many things … that are so much better. Like silly, or ]y, or ]ous … or brief. And every one of those things is in you all the time, if you just have the guts to look for them.

Big Bob: That's enough.

David/Bud: I thought I was allowed to defend myself.

Big Bob: [[lie] You're not allowed to ].

David/Bud: I'm not lying. You see those faces up there? They're no different than you are, they just happen to see something inside themselves…

Big Bob: [bangs gavel] I said that's enough.

David/Bud: Here, I'll show you. Dad?

George: Yeah, Bud?

David/Bud: [[Beauty|beautiful; [wonder; he nods; he nods, and suddenly is colored] It's okay Dad, just listen a sec. I know you miss her, I mean, you told me you did. But maybe it's not just the cooking, or the cleaning, that you miss. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you can't even describe it. Maybe you only know it when it's gone. Maybe it's like there's a whole piece of you that's missing too. Look at her, Dad. Doesn't she look pretty like that? Doesn't she look … just as ] as the first time you met her? Do you really want her back the way she was? Doesn't she look just ]ful? Now don't you wish you could tell her that?

Big Bob: [bangs his gavel; [order] You're out of ]!

David/Bud: Why am I out of order?

Big Bob: Because I'm not gonna let you turn this courtroom into a circus!

David/Bud: [David turns to look at the crowd, where many of the black-and-white people are changing into color. There are gasps and murmurs. Jennifer grins] Well, I don't think it's a circus, and I don't think they do, either.

Big Bob: [bangs the gavel] This behavior must stop at once!

David/Bud: But see? That's just the point! It can't stop at once, because it's in you, and you can't stop something that's inside you.

Big Bob: It is not inside me!

Big Bob: This is not the answer, people. No matter how upset we may get, or how frustrated we may be, we're not gonna solve our problems out in the street. It's just the wrong way to do it. We have to have a "Code of Conduct" we can all agree to live by. Now, I asked George and Burt here to sketch out some ideas — and I think they've done a terrific job. If we all agree on these then we can take a vote and I think we'll start to move in the right direction. "ONE: All public disruption and acts of vandalism are to cease immediately. TWO: All citizens of Pleasantville are to treat one another in a courteous and pleasant manner...

Lisa Anne: Courteous and Pleasant manner." That doesn't sound too bad.

Kids: Oh my gosh.... No....

David/Bud: FIVE: There shall be no public sale of umbrellas or preparation for inclement weather of any kind. SIX: No bedframe or mattress may be sold measuring more than 38 inches wide. SEVEN: The only permissible paint colors shall be BLACK, WHITE or GRAY, despite the recent availability of certain alternatives. EIGHT: All elementary and high school curriculums shall teach the "non-changist" view of history — emphasizing "continuity" over "alteration." Wow.

Big Bob: [in the bowling alley] What happened? Are you alright? What is it?

George: [[Rain] ].

Big Bob: Real rain?

Big Bob: [[God] Oh my ].... Are you alright?

George: I came home like I always do. And I came in the front door. And I took off my coat. And I put down my briefcase and I said "Honey. I'm home.

George: ...Only no one was there. So I went into the kitchen and I yelled it again. "Honey — I'm home." But there was no one there either. No wife. No lights. No dinner.

George: So I went to the oven you know — because I thought maybe she had made me one of those "TV dinners..." But she hadn't. She was gone. And I looked and looked and looked — but she was gone.

Big Bob: It's gonna be fine George. You're with us now.

Gus: What are we gonna do Bob?

Big Bob: Well — we'll be safe for now — thank goodness we're in a bowling alley — but if George here doesn't get his dinner, any one of us could be next. It could be you Gus, or you Roy, or even you Ralph.... That's real rain out there, gentlemen. This isn't some little "virus" that's going to "clear up on its own." There's something happening to our town and I think we can all see where it comes from. My friends, this isn't about George's dinner or Roy's shirt. It's a question of values. It's a question of whether we're gonna hold onto the values that have made this place great. So the time has come to make a decision. Are we in this alone, or are we in it together?

Big Bob: [[People; [Pleasure|pleasant] ], people.... I think we all know what's going on here. Up until now everything around here has been, well, ]. Recently certain things have become unpleasant. It seems to me that the first thing we have to do is to separate out the things that are pleasant from the things that are unpleasant.

Mickey: Why all of a sudden is the sketch dirty?

Ed Smythe: Child molestation is a touchy subject, and the affiliates...

Mickey: Read the papers, half the country is doing it!

Ed Smythe: Yes, but you name names.

Mickey: We never - We don't name names, we say "the Pope"!

H. R. Haldeman: Eight words back in 72. I covered up. I was wrong. I'm sorry'. The American public would have forgiven him. But we never opened our mouths, John. We failed him.

John Ehrlichman: Dick Nixon apologize? That will be the day. Most of his armor would fall off.